Feb 13, 2019
Barb Wire (1996) (part 5 of 11)
Next, we find Pam riding through the seedy streets with Krebs on the back of her bike. And when I say “on the back”, I mean she’s got him slumped across the seat like he’s the load on a burro. She rides to a Bail Bonds establishment, and the bail bondsman emerges, revealing that he’s being played by our second Repeat Offender Clint Howard, last seen in Santa with Muscles. Sadly, the part he’s playing now is the least embarrassing of the two. He’s this movie’s Ugarte, the role played by Peter Lorre in Casablanca. And you’d be hard pressed to tell which one of the two men is uglier.
Clint greets Pam, saying she looks very “buoyant” this evening. Pam tells him to zip it and demands her fee, which is twice her usual fee because she didn’t expect the armed Guidos protecting Krebs. She demands “20,000”, and when Clint tosses over a wad of bills, she tosses them right back. “Canadian,” she says. Oh brother.
Clint calls out a group of big beefy dudes and tells them he’s being “extorted”. Pam puts a gun to Krebs’ head, saying that while he’s alive, Clint can still get the bail invested in him. But “dead, he’s toxic waste!” Oh, she’s one to talk about something being “toxic” and a “waste” after being involved in Stripperella.
Clint buys her bluff and hands over the $20,000 Canadian. Pam boards her bike and Clint says it was a pleasure doing business with her. She replies, “If it was a pleasure, [Clint], I’d charge more.” Sorry, but that’s not entirely accurate. Tickets cost the same no matter how much the movie sucks. Anyway, Pam speeds off, letting Krebs tumble off the back of her bike and fall to the pavement.