Oct 9, 2020
Baptist University To Professor: Being A Beardo Is Cool, Being On A Beer Can Is Not
We never remember which Christian sect is which, so we’d lost track of the fact that there’s some Baptists that don’t like demon rum, so much so that a Baptist college fired a dude for having his face and beard grace a beer can.
Charleston Southern University associate professor Paul Roof says the school fired him Friday after his bearded visage appeared on cans of Holy City Brewing’s Chucktown Follicle Brown.
Holy City looks to be one of those ubiquitous microbrew sort of things that has fanciful names for its beer, because this is a thing we do now, and Paul Roof’s facial hair is, in a word, magnificent, so they slapped his bearded visage on the bottle.
Let us be clear: this branch of Baptists does not appear to be against graven images nor fanciful facial hair, as it looks like they were perfectly comfy with Roof being the poster boy for beard competitions everywhere and also too for being one of the only people in the world that could legitimately say they need a wide variety of moustache wax.
Roof has entered and won competitions nationwide, including 1st Place Freestyle Beard in the 2011 Miami Beard & Moustache Championships. The photo of a cowboy hat-bedecked Roof and his carefully waxed whiskers was taken by Las Vegas photographer Greg Anderson at the 2013 Beard and Moustache National Championships in New Orleans. Before it appeared on a beer can, the image was used on posters for the interactive conference Dig South 2014, where Roof emceed the Culturama finale event at the Alley. It has also been used by the Lubbock, Texas, branch of the Christian organization Young Life, which, if you scroll through its Facebook page, appears to have an abiding fascination with facial hair.
We would be remiss if we did not remind you that one of the previous winners of the Freestyle Beard category puts Paul Roof to shame.
Where were we? Oh, yeah, CSU fired Roof, because Jesus loved beards but hated drinking, we guess.
Actually, it’s way more complicated than that, as we’d suspected, because there are approximately one million ways to feel about alcohol over on the Protestant side of the aisle. (It’s much easier for those of us who are Catholics, a religion that tends to create people who are unabashedly pro-drinking). So the school’s employee code of conduct does not prohibit drinking, but does have some nice mushy language about subtleties and difficult choices and blah blah blah.
“We each are responsible for safeguarding and promoting Charleston Southern University through ethical and principled leadership and action that is informed and directed by our core values. This type of ethical and principled leadership is sometimes difficult. There will be times when situations will involve subtleties and complexities that lead to difficult choices. When in doubt, ask yourself whether you feel confident that your actions and decisions would withstand objective scrutiny.”
Man, we are happy to hear that Roof has hired a lawyer, because fuck if we could tell whether reading that meant we should not let our super-ridiculous beard appear on a can of beer. Team Weird Beer Dude Forever.