Author: Dr. Winston O'Boogie

Omen IV: The Awakening (1991) (part 2 of 3)

“This movie is a Part 4. And with very few exceptions, franchises that last all the way to a fourth installment end up scraping the bottom of the cinematic barrel. And when it comes to horror franchises in particular, there's a tendency to continue on even after hitting bottom, and using the shredded, shattered remnants of the cinematic barrel itself to make at least three more shitty sequels after that.”

Omen IV: The Awakening (1991) (part 1 of 3)

“This movie is a Part 4. And with very few exceptions, franchises that last all the way to a fourth installment end up scraping the bottom of the cinematic barrel. And when it comes to horror franchises in particular, there's a tendency to continue on even after hitting bottom, and using the shredded, shattered remnants of the cinematic barrel itself to make at least three more shitty sequels after that.”

Don Johnson's "Heartbeat" (part 2 of 2)

I know what you're thinking: Don Johnson's "Heartbeat"? Are you for real? (Actually, what you're probably thinking is Don Johnson's "Heartbeat"? What the fuck? But I took the liberty of cleaning up your thoughts for you.)Well, ever since I started this new Agonizer section where I can post short articles, I've been jonesing to do an in-depth review of a short piece of film. Like, say, a music video. And what music video could possibly be worse than Don Johnson's "Heartbeat"?

Don Johnson's "Heartbeat" (part 1 of 2)

I know what you're thinking: Don Johnson's "Heartbeat"? Are you for real? (Actually, what you're probably thinking is Don Johnson's "Heartbeat"? What the fuck? But I took the liberty of cleaning up your thoughts for you.)Well, ever since I started this new Agonizer section where I can post short articles, I've been jonesing to do an in-depth review of a short piece of film. Like, say, a music video. And what music video could possibly be worse than Don Johnson's "Heartbeat"?

Frog-g-g! (2004)

In this low-budget homage to/satire of '70s "nature run amuck" horror films, contamination of a small town's groundwater causes a tadpole to grow to huge, mutant proportions and become the Frog-g-g!, a latex-suited monster with the genetic need to mate with human females. And, I should add, this reviewer is one of only a handful of people not directly involved with the movie to have actually seen it.Yeah, I know. I could say the same thing about a lot of the movies on this site. Easy Kill comes to mind, as does Night of Horror. But what makes Frog-g-g! special is that I caught it at an exclusive midnight showing in Hollywood that was attended by many of the people who worked on the movie.

Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt (part 2 of 2)

“Steven Seagal, former bodyguard turned actor, who once claimed to have worked for the CIA, and who now claims to be a reincarnated Tibetan lama (though not a reincarnated llama, which is probably closer to the truth), has taken time out from his busy direct-to-video acting career and burgeoning singing career [!] to develop a brand new kind of energy drink. I know this much is true, because I've purchased and consumed exactly two (2) cans of Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt in both of its powerful flavors: ‘Asian Experience’ and ‘Cherry Charge’.”

Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt (part 1 of 2)

“Steven Seagal, former bodyguard turned actor, who once claimed to have worked for the CIA, and who now claims to be a reincarnated Tibetan lama (though not a reincarnated llama, which is probably closer to the truth), has taken time out from his busy direct-to-video acting career and burgeoning singing career [!] to develop a brand new kind of energy drink. I know this much is true, because I've purchased and consumed exactly two (2) cans of Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt in both of its powerful flavors: ‘Asian Experience’ and ‘Cherry Charge’.”

The Island (2005) (part 3 of 3)

I was always a little apprehensive about championing the cause of Clonus as being ripped off by The Island, because basically, I hadn't seen The Island. Anyone could look at the plot outlines and see the obvious resemblance, of course, but I could never really be sure. At least, not until now.The Island is finally out on DVD, complete with a commentary track from Michael Bay. After watching the movie twice and listening to Bay's commentary, I'm more convinced than ever that The Island is directly based on Parts: The Clonus Horror. In fact, there are several details and plot points in The Island that make absolutely no sense except as an homage to Clonus.

The Island (2005) (part 2 of 3)

I was always a little apprehensive about championing the cause of Clonus as being ripped off by The Island, because basically, I hadn't seen The Island. Anyone could look at the plot outlines and see the obvious resemblance, of course, but I could never really be sure. At least, not until now.The Island is finally out on DVD, complete with a commentary track from Michael Bay. After watching the movie twice and listening to Bay's commentary, I'm more convinced than ever that The Island is directly based on Parts: The Clonus Horror. In fact, there are several details and plot points in The Island that make absolutely no sense except as an homage to Clonus.

The Island (2005) (part 1 of 3)

I was always a little apprehensive about championing the cause of Clonus as being ripped off by The Island, because basically, I hadn't seen The Island. Anyone could look at the plot outlines and see the obvious resemblance, of course, but I could never really be sure. At least, not until now.The Island is finally out on DVD, complete with a commentary track from Michael Bay. After watching the movie twice and listening to Bay's commentary, I'm more convinced than ever that The Island is directly based on Parts: The Clonus Horror. In fact, there are several details and plot points in The Island that make absolutely no sense except as an homage to Clonus.

An Interview with Robert Fiveson, Director of Parts: The Clonus Horror

“A cult favorite thanks to its appearance on Mystery Science Theater 3000 during the Sci-Fi Channel years, Parts: The Clonus Horror also happens to be one of the films recapped on this very site. Roughly a year ago, I received an email from a reader saying I had kept him laughing deep into the night with my recap of Parts. Imagine my astonishment when that reader turned out to be Robert S. Fiveson, director and co-producer of Parts: The Clonus Horror.”

The Computer Chronicles “Special Christmas Edition” (part 2 of 2)

“I now present a half-hour showcase of all the latest hot computer gadgets and popular software, just in time for the holidays! Well, I guess there is just one little, tiny thing I should probably mention. See, this episode aired exactly twenty years ago, during the 1985 Christmas shopping season. But, hey. Come on. It's just high technology! How out of date could it possibly be?”

The Computer Chronicles “Special Christmas Edition” (part 1 of 2)

“I now present a half-hour showcase of all the latest hot computer gadgets and popular software, just in time for the holidays! Well, I guess there is just one little, tiny thing I should probably mention. See, this episode aired exactly twenty years ago, during the 1985 Christmas shopping season. But, hey. Come on. It's just high technology! How out of date could it possibly be?”