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Author: Tyler Peterson

· by Tyler Peterson · Jun 25, 2018

Suicide Squad (2016): a recap (part 5 of 9)

Erstwhile on Suicide Squad: Amanda Waller’s cunning plan to engineer a romance between an ultra-powerful witch and the single person guarding her somehow ran into problems. Enchantress slipped her leash and went rogue, releasing her brother from his Pier…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Jun 18, 2018

Suicide Squad (2016): a recap (part 4 of 9)

Precedingly on Suicide Squad: Waller’s getting the band together. Harley Quinn’s pimp is coming to her rescue. Enchantress is off the leash and up to no good. Enchantress teleports by wrapping her cloud of bodily funk around her. Her…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Jun 11, 2018

Suicide Squad (2016): a recap (part 3 of 9)

Previously on Suicide Squad: Government stooge (and three-time Detective Wyms Cosplay Contest runner-up) Amanda Waller wanted to protect America from a hypothetical terrorist threat by a Superman-type figure. To that end, she assembled a team of lame-o supervillains with…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Jun 4, 2018

Suicide Squad (2016): a recap (part 2 of 9)

Last time on Suicide Squad: The Wall got an idea. An awful idea. The Wall got a wonderful, awful idea. She’s smiling because, with Superman dead, it’s the perfect time to pitch this wonderful, awful idea to her fellow…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · May 29, 2018

Suicide Squad (2016): a recap (part 1 of 9)

The DC Expanded Universe: four cursed words if ever there were any. The twelve hours that comprise the DCEU represent such a pathetically inept wall-to-wall pooch-screw that dunking on the franchise at this point seems almost mean, like laughing at…

Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · May 7, 2018

7 ideas for the next A Star Wars Story

It was a golden moment when Lucasfilm and Disney announced their intention to make a series of standalone Star Wars movies in addition to the sequel trilogy. For the first time in history, the Star Wars franchise wasn’t penned in…

Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Mar 16, 2018

4 reasons why The Boondock Saints has aged very badly

You might get invited to a St. Patrick’s Day party this weekend. You may come decked out in that greenish shirt from the bottom of your drawer. You may eat your fill of the finest Irish dishes, like “various root…

Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Feb 27, 2018

Movie Duel: Street Fighter vs. Mortal Kombat

Welcome back to Movie Duels, in which we watch two dueling movies and offer our eminently qualified opinion of which film, if any, has a reason for existing, and which one should have been left back at the pitch …

Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Feb 14, 2018

All MCU villains, ranked from worst to least worst (part 2 of 2)

If you missed part one of this article, I’m not responsible for what ensues. 8. Ultron (James Spader), Avengers: Age of Ultron To protect Earth from aliens, Tony Stark creates a hyperintelligent AI with the exact personality of a sarcastic…

Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Feb 8, 2018

All MCU villains, ranked from worst to least worst (part 1 of 2)

Hey there! You like the Marvel Comics movies? You do?! Awesome! I do too! You like the colorful, inspiring heroes? Me too! You like the frenetic action choreography? Me too! You like the seat-rattling CGI spectacle? Me too! You like…

Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Jan 2, 2018

Dear Clint Eastwood: Please retire

Dear Mr. Eastwood: I saw the trailer for your new movie coming out in 2018, The 15:17 to Paris, and it’s… well… Okay, there’s a lot to unpack here. I could go on at article length about the trailer alone.…

Movie Review / Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Dec 19, 2017

Movie Duel: K-9 vs. Turner & Hooch

Agonizer / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Nov 27, 2017

Louis CK's behavior makes a lot more sense in retrospect

The recent news about Louis CK sexually intimidating five women (at least) hit me in a sensitive spot. I’ve been a huge Louis CK fan ever since seeing his stand-up special Chewed Up almost a decade ago. I’ve seen all…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Nov 6, 2017

Jonah Hex (2010): a recap (part 6 of 6): The Conflagration Proclamation

Last time on Hex Mix: A mortally wounded Jonah Hex somehow rode his horse two-thirds of the distance across the United States and somehow found his friendly neighborhood Native Americans, who somehow cured him of his bad case of…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Oct 19, 2017

Jonah Hex (2010): a recap (part 5 of 6): Jonah eats crow

Previously on Hex, Vexed by Rednecks, Bisects Necks: Turnbull has built a gun big enough to shoot the whole country in the face. Hex resurrected Turnbull’s son—dead at Hex’s hands—to ask where Turnbull was so he could kill him …

Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Oct 14, 2017

A cynic’s look at the Star Wars: The Last Jedi trailer

So hey, how about that Last Jedi trailer? Here it is, if you haven’t seen it: We all know the drill pretty well by now, don’t we? The trailer drops. Everyone pores over it and does their own bit of…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Oct 9, 2017

Jonah Hex (2010): a recap (part 4 of 6): When Jonah comes mooching home again

Previously on Hex Collects Checks: Bounty hunter and part time medium Jonah Hex (Josh Brolin) had to find his old commanding officer/fellow Mustache Club member Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich) in order to prevent him and his band of neo-Confederates…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Oct 2, 2017

Jonah Hex (2010): a recap (part 3 of 6): Clods and generals

Last time on Hex Wrecks the Cineplex: Disfigured ex-Confederate bounty hunter Jonah Hex (Josh Brolin) narrowly escaped an extremely dumb trap laid by crooked lawmen. He retired to his favorite watering hole for a spot of tortuously dull pillow…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Sep 25, 2017

Jonah Hex (2010): a recap (part 2 of 6): The Adventures of Jonah Hex’s Magic Horse

Last time on What the Hex: The grumpy man (Jonah Hex) committed some light treason. The crazy man (Quentin Turnbull) got on his case about it. The crazier man (so far not named; I’ll just call him This Fucking…

Movie Recap / Movies / Text

· by Tyler Peterson · Sep 20, 2017

Jonah Hex (2010): a recap (part 1 of 6)

As a non-comics reader, I’m in something of an awkward position when I watch a movie adapted from a comic book and don’t like it. Part of me thinks that it’s unfair to judge it by my normal standards, because…

Author: Tyler Peterson

Suicide Squad (2016): a recap (part 5 of 9)

Suicide Squad (2016): a recap (part 4 of 9)

Suicide Squad (2016): a recap (part 3 of 9)

Suicide Squad (2016): a recap (part 2 of 9)

Suicide Squad (2016): a recap (part 1 of 9)

7 ideas for the next A Star Wars Story

4 reasons why The Boondock Saints has aged very badly

Movie Duel: Street Fighter vs. Mortal Kombat

All MCU villains, ranked from worst to least worst (part 2 of 2)

All MCU villains, ranked from worst to least worst (part 1 of 2)

Dear Clint Eastwood: Please retire

Movie Duel: K-9 vs. Turner & Hooch

Louis CK's behavior makes a lot more sense in retrospect

Jonah Hex (2010): a recap (part 6 of 6): The Conflagration Proclamation

Jonah Hex (2010): a recap (part 5 of 6): Jonah eats crow

A cynic’s look at the Star Wars: The Last Jedi trailer

Jonah Hex (2010): a recap (part 4 of 6): When Jonah comes mooching home again

Jonah Hex (2010): a recap (part 3 of 6): Clods and generals

Jonah Hex (2010): a recap (part 2 of 6): The Adventures of Jonah Hex’s Magic Horse

Jonah Hex (2010): a recap (part 1 of 6)

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