Suicide Squad (2016): a recap (part 4)
Precedingly on Suicide Squad: Waller’s getting the band together. Harley Quinn’s pimp is coming to her rescue. Enchantress is off the leash and up to no good. Enchantress teleports by wrapping her cloud of...
Author: Tyler Peterson
Suicide Squad (2016): a recap (part 3)
Previously on Suicide Squad: Government stooge (and three-time Detective Wyms Cosplay Contest runner-up) Amanda Waller wanted to protect America from a hypothetical terrorist threat by a Superman-type figure. To that end, she assembled a...
Suicide Squad (2016): a recap (part 2)
Last time on Suicide Squad: The Wall got an idea. An awful idea. The Wall got a wonderful, awful idea. She’s smiling because, with Superman dead, it’s the perfect time to pitch this wonderful,...
Suicide Squad (2016): a recap (part 1)
The DC Expanded Universe: four cursed words if ever there were any. The twelve hours that comprise the DCEU represent such a pathetically inept wall-to-wall pooch-screw that dunking on the franchise at this point...
7 ideas for the next A Star Wars Story
It was a golden moment when Lucasfilm and Disney announced their intention to make a series of standalone Star Wars movies in addition to the sequel trilogy. For the first time in history, the...
4 reasons why The Boondock Saints has aged very badly
You might get invited to a St. Patrick’s Day party this weekend. You may come decked out in that greenish shirt from the bottom of your drawer. You may eat your fill of the...
Movie Duel: Street Fighter vs. Mortal Kombat
Welcome back to Movie Duels, in which we watch two dueling movies and offer our eminently qualified opinion of which film, if any, has a reason for existing, and which one should have been left back at...
All MCU villains, ranked from worst to least worst (part 2 of 2)
If you missed part one of this article, I’m not responsible for what ensues. 8. Ultron (James Spader), Avengers: Age of Ultron To protect Earth from aliens, Tony Stark creates a hyperintelligent AI with...
All MCU villains, ranked from worst to least worst (part 1 of 2)
Hey there! You like the Marvel Comics movies? You do?! Awesome! I do too! You like the colorful, inspiring heroes? Me too! You like the frenetic action choreography? Me too! You like the seat-rattling...
Dear Clint Eastwood: Please retire
Dear Mr. Eastwood: I saw the trailer for your new movie coming out in 2018, The 15:17 to Paris, and it’s… well… Okay, there’s a lot to unpack here. I could go on at...
Movie Duel: K-9 vs. Turner & Hooch
Welcome back to Movie Duels, in which we watch two dueling movies and offer our eminently qualified opinion of which film, if any, has a reason for existing, and which one should have been left back at...
Louis CK's behavior makes a lot more sense in retrospect
The recent news about Louis CK sexually intimidating five women (at least) hit me in a sensitive spot. I’ve been a huge Louis CK fan ever since seeing his stand-up special Chewed Up almost...
Jonah Hex (2010): a recap (part 6 of 6): The Conflagration Proclamation
Last time on Hex Mix: A mortally wounded Jonah Hex somehow rode his horse two-thirds of the distance across the United States and somehow found his friendly neighborhood Native Americans, who somehow cured him of...
Jonah Hex (2010): a recap (part 5 of 6): Jonah eats crow
Previously on Hex, Vexed by Rednecks, Bisects Necks: Turnbull has built a gun big enough to shoot the whole country in the face. Hex resurrected Turnbull’s son—dead at Hex’s hands—to ask where Turnbull was so he could...
A cynic’s look at the Star Wars: The Last Jedi trailer
So hey, how about that Last Jedi trailer? Here it is, if you haven’t seen it: We all know the drill pretty well by now, don’t we? The trailer drops. Everyone pores over it...
Jonah Hex (2010): a recap (part 4 of 6): When Jonah comes mooching home again
Previously on Hex Collects Checks: Bounty hunter and part time medium Jonah Hex (Josh Brolin) had to find his old commanding officer/fellow Mustache Club member Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich) in order to prevent him and...
Jonah Hex (2010): a recap (part 3 of 6): Clods and generals
Last time on Hex Wrecks the Cineplex: Disfigured ex-Confederate bounty hunter Jonah Hex (Josh Brolin) narrowly escaped an extremely dumb trap laid by crooked lawmen. He retired to his favorite watering hole for a spot...
Jonah Hex (2010): a recap (part 2 of 6): The Adventures of Jonah Hex’s Magic Horse
Last time on What the Hex: The grumpy man (Jonah Hex) committed some light treason. The crazy man (Quentin Turnbull) got on his case about it. The crazier man (so far not named; I’ll just...
Jonah Hex (2010): a recap (part 1 of 6)
As a non-comics reader, I’m in something of an awkward position when I watch a movie adapted from a comic book and don’t like it. Part of me thinks that it’s unfair to judge...
6 real Han Solo EU storylines too wacky for the movies
The standalone Han Solo movie (provisionally titled Han Solo: The Motion Picture) is filming right now as we speak, and it, um… could be going better? Original directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller (21...
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