Author: Susan Velazquez

Riverdale: Lil' Crime Stoppers

Jughead informs us that every fairy tale has essentially the same warning: don’t go into the woods because there’s nothing but trouble there. Examples include Little Red Riding Hood meeting a hungry wolf and Goldilocks finding the three bears’ house.…

Riverdale: Death diner for cutie

I have only one thing to say about the townspeople of Riverdale: these hoes ain’t loyal. Pop’s Chock’lit Shoppe has been open since the 1950s and it’s the local hangout for kids and adults alike. But you have one little…

Riverdale: Daddy in a coma

“Our story is not over,” begins Jughead’s narration for the season 2 premiere of Riverdale. Hell yeah, it isn’t! Welcome to the town where there’s creepy wig rooms, strange obsessions with maple syrup, dramatic funerals, and an absurd amount…

Movie Duel: Baby Driver vs. Drive

Welcome back to Movie Duels, in which we watch two dueling movies and offer our eminently qualified opinion of which film, if any, has a reason for existing, and which one should have been left back at the pitch

Batman, forever: A farewell to Adam West

On June 9th, Adam West passed away in Los Angeles at age 88 after a short battle with leukemia, according to his family. He’s survived by his wife Marcelle and their six children, five grand children, two grandchildren, and an…

Riverdale: We can be heroes

Why does the Blossom family take their maple syrup so seriously? Why did they have their super elaborate maple tapping ceremony at the beginning of winter when any New Englander knows that maple syrup season begins at the end of…

Riverdale: Homecomings and goings

Welcome back (again) to Riverdale! These random CW hiatuses are killing me and I don’t understand the logic behind them. Are they trying to drag out the final episodes? Accommodating standardized testings for their teen viewers? Or did they simply…

Riverdale: Party like an angsty teen

In the aftermath of Jason’s murder, Jughead notes that the town has realized that there is no such thing as control, only chaos. Intercut with scenes of our clean-cut All-American teen leads are scenes from a wild party. The party…