Patrons get an ad-free experience and full access to our archives. Support the Agony Booth for as little as $1/month!
Man Time: Why You Should Hate Phil Mickelson
Man Time: Have You Heard of This Derek Jeter Guy?
Man Time: Dingers! Dingers!
Man Time: The Once and Future Validation of Gegenpressing
Man Time: Sorry We Were Sexist At You Yesterday, Lady Sports!
Man Time: In Defense of Sweat
Man Time: Sad Old Bigot Donald Sterling Won't Go Without a Fight
ESPN the Magazine’s annual “The Body Issue” hits newsstands in a couple days, and it’s all about naked sports people being naked. The site has offered a sexxxclusive sneak peek of all the nakedness your sports-addled brain can handle, and…
Man Time: Who Is This Johnny Manziel Person, and Why Do We Hate Him?
Lindsay Lohan Wakes Up, Wants Attention, Files Lawsuit
It is a well-established fact that soccer players are flopping, whining babies. To borrow a phrase from Game of Thrones’ Ramsay Bolton (née Snow), soccer players are like krakens out of water—all flopsy-mopsy and nothing to be scared of at…
Sad Sportsball Time: No More Foreignball
Sportsball Time! USA v Belgium Preview
Sportsball Time! USA v Germany Liveblog
Redskins Name Isn't Racist, Says Moron at Boston Herald
A-Rod Violates Condo's No-Hookers Policy (Allegedly)
Sportsball Time! USA vs Portugal Twitter Recap
Ron Paul Will Act at You in Atlas Shrugged: Part III
Soccer Man Clint Dempsey Spits Hot Fire on New Rap Album
Claire McCaskill Gives Dr. Oz the Miracle Cure for Being a Snake-Oil Salesman