Authentic Mad Men Crap For Sale! Today Only!

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Get your very own Mad Men official mementos actually used on the REAL Mad Men show and maybe even handled by Jon Hamm himself in the flesh, or Christina Hendricks if she’s more your type. But get ’em NOW ’cause the lots start closing at 12:00 PM today. Fortunately, that’s 12:00 Pacific time or 3:00 to us normal folks.

[Editor’s Note: REAL Americans live on Central Time.]

What kind of beautifully crafted by prisoners in China tchotkes and office furniture is available? There’s Pete’s sunglasses, Don’s green globe pencil sharpener, even Andy’s fan. You remember Andy, right? The kid what set Don up for the great VFW heist? He probably stole it from a room. But that’s not all! You can buy Lane Price’s briefcase. Given his ignoble end, would you want to? The necktie he hanged himself with does not seem to be available.

They’ve got a Mateus wine bottle, for $200, just like the one every teenage girl used in her college dorm room as a candle holder back in 1971. The wax would drip down making all kinds of groovy patterns. Don’t tell your mom ’cause she’s going to be so mad she didn’t save hers. In fact, there’s lots of things any child of the sixties might get all nostalgically weepy over, like the Drapers’ fondue pot, or the Drapers’ tall metallic highball glasses for only $500.

Your mom will love it.

Your mom will love it.

Another ill-fated item, Megan’s wedding ring, has an ask of $1,200. Ssshh, don’t tell the marks it’s paste. There’s also Playboy Club glasses and swizzle sticks for $475, but we suspect they may actually be from the ill-fated, short-lived, deservedly cancelled, terrible series of the same name.

Personally, this humble recapper could really could use that leather conference room chair to write my humble recaps from. Donations will be accepted.

Please go to my kickstarter campaign, now.

Please go to my Kickstarter campaign, now.

While they do have some Kodak cameras (also available for one one-hundredth of the price but without the cache at your local Goodwill), they don’t have the one thing we really want – the carousel – because that would be priceless. Or around $120 on eBay, but without that touch of Jon Hamm.

Anything that had skin to plastic/glass/metal/cloth contact with the Donald himself (no not that one) has a premium. While Pete’s sunglasses might go for $375, Don’s shades are $2,200, but will probably fetch more because Don is magic. Don’s 1965 Cadillac will sell for more than the $31,000 asking price — and that’s not including the 24% “buyer’s premium” on everything. She looks cherry, but will she go? And what does it matter? If you asked the question, you can’t afford it! Even his social security card costs a couple of grand. But really, how do we know it’s the real fake thing?

Authentic Mad Men Crap For Sale! Today Only!

Would you buy a 50-year-old used car from Don Draper?

If this all sounds too rich for your blood, not to worry, there are some affordable goods. Henry’s pajamas only have one bid at $50, so you’ve got a very good chance!

As exciting as a night with Henry Francis!

As exciting as a night with Henry Francis!

Marion Stein

Marion writes television recaps and reviews for the Agony Booth, and books you can find over at Amazon.

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