Attention Nerds: You May Or May Not Be Excited By This New ‘Godzilla’ Trailer

Are we only making reboots/remakes/remimaginings now? We think so! Look at Amazing Spiderman 2, which is the sequel to the SECOND Spiderman remake franchise juggernaut in the last ten years. Also too Superman aka Man of Steel, although Superman, like the poor, will always be with us. Now it’s high time to give Godzilla its due.


The new trailer for Godzilla, out in May 2014, is dark. No, literally dark. Well, figuratively dark too, probably, but dark as in you keep having to tweak the brightness on your computer to see things. Perhaps this makes it extra menacing? Also everything is dusty from explosions. Many many explosions. Also, too, it stars Bryan Cranston from Breaking Bad and he appears to be crying in the trailer, which means everything has really gone to hell.

So wait. Is Godzilla a good monster or a bad monster? The film’s website says the film is

An epic rebirth to Toho’s iconic Godzilla, this spectacular adventure, from Warner Bros. Pictures and Legendary Pictures, pits the world’s most famous monster against malevolent creatures who, bolstered by humanity’s scientific arrogance, threaten our very existence.

So he’s good? And helps us fight? Or he’s bad, and crushes us into non-arrogance or something? NERDS HELP US OUT.

We tried to ask our resident nerd aka Dok Zoom to help, but he just said a lot of words that made no sense:

Godzilla has to be a guy in a rubber suit or it’s not Godzilla, and if it’s an American CGI Godzilla, it is evil, but if it is a Japanese Rubber Suit Godzilla, free Pocky and Hello Kitty Beer for everyone.

So Dok Zoom will not like this movie because it does not look like it is going to be a guy in a rubber suit, so we will be lacking Pocky


…and Hello Kitty Beer.


Dammit. Now we’re mad at this film because we’ve actually really been holding out for that Hello Kitty beer.

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