Armageddon (1998) (part 10 of 13)

The drillers wonder what to do next. Meanwhile, I wonder why NASA couldn’t have studied the many considerably large asteroid fragments in order to learn Rastaroid’s hardness, and develop a drill bit that was capable of drilling through it. But I guess that’s just my East Coast intelligentsia bias speaking. After all, NASA was more preoccupied with selecting the people least capable to do the job than worrying about that kind of trivial stuff.

Rastaroid continues to hurtle toward Earth, while back at Houston, a group of techies have wandered onto the CSI set. They’re lit green against the dim blue room as they explain the latest plot contrivance. It seems the moon’s gravitational pull has sent the asteroid into a full spin and soon communications will be lost.

Scary General cuts to the chase. “If we lose the shuttle com, when do we lose the ability to remote detonate that nuke?” A woman who looks and sounds like a blonde Demi Moore explains that after the seven minute window closes, a higher orbiting satellite will give them an additional five minutes. Dr. Quincy says this means they’ve got twelve minutes to decide. Thanks, Skipper. I mean, I shudder to think of how many brain cells this film has killed, but I still think I could have done that bit of arithmetic myself.

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Jessica Ritchey

Born in Western North Carolina, Juniper was discovered in a filthy shack in the lovely Blue Ridge Mountains, speaking a made up language to a tattered rag doll, her only companion. Her social skills have improved little in the intervening years. She is currently making flailing efforts at being a freelance writer. One of history's supreme procrastinators she plans on writing a book about it someday.

Multi-Part Article: Armageddon (1998)

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