Mar 31, 2015
Are You Afraid of the Dark? “The Tale of the Final Wish” (part 1 of 2)
I effing loved this one when I was a kid, mostly because it had a certain Mr. Bobcat Goldthwait as the villain. As a wee girl, I was kind of obsessed with the Police Academy movies, so much so that I used to host little mini-marathons. Unsurprisingly, I was usually the only one in attendance, save for my favorite stuffed animals. Later, Cheer Bear and the rest of the Care Bears would begin to make excuses not to attend my Policy Academy parties, so, you know…
This time around, it’s Kristen’s night to tell the story. Kristen (Rachel Blanchard!) is all dressed up in this very cute Renaissance Faire-type outfit. In a few years, she could probably cut the skirt short and use it as a sexy ale wench costume for Halloween (or “dress like a ho day”, as it is sometimes called).
Kristen is reading some seriously disturbing shizz from an old book of fairy tales, a story involving some kind of fairy tale vampirism that is decidedly un-sparkly and un-sexy.
Of course, Frank acts like kind of a douche about this, examining the book and saying that “a kiddie story is still a kiddie story.” Two things: first, Frank, what the hell kind of stories did your parents used to tell you? And, second, you’re never going to get into Kristen’s panties if you keep treating her like crap.
Hmm, actually, depending upon the state of Kristen’s self worth, maybe that is the way to get her to like you. I mean, she’s already dressing like a ho.
Kristen tells us that her story is about a girl who’s obsessed with fairy tales, and has a hard time telling fantasy from reality. Which is when a fairy tale… can sometimes become… a scary tale! Bum bum bum!