Mar 31, 2015
Are You Afraid of the Dark? “The Tale of the Vacant Lot” (part 2 of 2)
The next day at school, the hot guy from earlier (who unfortunately has a shirt on now) tells Kat that he saw her run the other day, and was really impressed. He says that now that she’s on the track team, they’ll probably see a lot of each other.
Kat’s all, “Oh, I think you’ll be seeing a lot of me, baby! Raaawwwr!” Actually, she just smiles and stuff. But whatever, same difference.
Kat tries to ask Hot Soccer Guy out, but then his skanky girlfriend comes up and totally cock-blocks her. Lame!
I think it’s about time for another trip to the vacant lot, don’t you?
Crazy Cloak Lady makes another offer on Kat’s ring, which Kat refuses again because it means too much to her. So the lady takes her usual payment of a chunk of Kat’s soul some unspecified thing that Kat doesn’t place any value upon. In exchange, Kat gets an ugly green velvet tunic thing that’s supposed to be really beautiful and hawt. Sure, okay.
And now Kat’s being a magically mean bitch to her little sister, calling her stupid and what-not. Oh, and then she sees her face in the mirror looking all disfigured and shit, but only for a second.
The article continues after these advertisements...
The next day at school, Kat tries to apologize to her friend for saying those mean things the other day, but then she sees more disfigurations on her face and runs into the bathroom. That’s when Crazy Cloak Lady appears with a magical whoooosh! …In the girls’ bathroom. Weird. Makes you wonder how long she’s been waiting in here, randomly flushing toilets in preparation for her big entrance.
But it’s not so bad—Crazy Cloak Lady makes Kat hot! Now she’s sure to land Hot Soccer Guy. But then Crazy Cloak Lady pulls down the face-flap of her cloak…
Downer much? Crazy Cloak Lady tells Kat that she was also beautiful once, and if Kat ever needs anything else, all she needs to do is come by the vacant lot. Um… this is just a suggestion, Kat, but maybe we should quit while we’re ahead, huh? Just saying.
In any case, Crazy Cloak Lady offers her tickets to a sold-out concert (apparently, she’s also a scalper), but Kat refuses. Kat then hauls ass out of the bathroom, straight into the arms of Hot Soccer Guy.
He’s totally blown away by her new sexy look (read: big hair and makeup), so he flirts with her for a little bit. Then (OMFG!) Kat finds the sold-out concert tickets in her hands! Ahhhhh!!
I’m not going to lie, this part really scared the crap out of me when I was a kid.
So Kat acts like a sexy little vixen and asks Hot Soccer Guy to go to the concert with her. He totally says yes because he can’t resist her hawt new look.
“Makeovers” on this show are so funny. Basically, what they did was get a girl who’s already really pretty, and just tart her up a bit. It’s not a huge difference, but I must say that it beats the french braid and glasses combo, so whatevs.
So now Kat has a date. No word on what Hot Soccer Guy’s girlfriend will do once she finds out. Maybe Kat will go to the vacant lot and pick up a switchblade or something.
But first, she has to get a new outfit for the big concert, one that Hot Soccer Guy hasn’t seen. Instead of going to the mall like a normal person, she goes back to the vacant lot and picks up some shit. But (oh noes!) her little sister Joyce follows her, and finds out about Crazy Cloak Lady and all the “free” stuff.
Joyce grabs some pretty-making clothes at the vacant lot (I guess it’s kind of like Lisette’s in Sweet Valley High). Back at home, Kat urges her to take it all back because it costs more than Joyce thinks. Joyce is all, “Whatever, beyotch!” She says it’s time for her to get what she wants, then she runs off to her bedroom.
Immediately after this, Crazy Cloak Lady appears briefly in the mirror to taunt Kat and/or give her the pox… just in time for Hot Soccer Guy to show up.
Kat runs into Joyce’s room looking for help, but finds that Joyce also has a bunch of crap on her face. Sorry, little sis. I guess you didn’t even get a chance to flirt with a hot soccer guy before you came down with the grup disease. Lame. Overall, it really looks like we’re in a K-hole now, eh, girls?
Kat leaves Hot Soccer Guy waiting in the living room and runs back to the vacant lot to return all her stuff. I guess she climbed out the window or something? I don’t know.
But Crazy Cloak Lady is now pox-free and looking very foxy. She explains that she was once tricked into a series of trades with the former Crazy Cloak Lady, and she’s been waiting for some poor, stupid girl to ruin ever since.
Kat is pretty confused, because this deal doesn’t seem very fair. I really must concur here. Crazy Cloak Lady stated that she was going to take something that didn’t mean anything to Kat. She said nothing about crazy face-boils.
Cloak Lady says that she took Kat’s “life”, which doesn’t really make sense with the whole face-pox thing, nor does it seem like something that doesn’t mean anything to Kat. Unless… Is Cloak Lady going to steal Kat’s and Joyce’s identities? I’m not sure how that would work. It’s a little confusing.
Cloak Lady is about to leave Kat to run the store (strangely, without teaching her how to operate the cash register first), but then Kat offers to give Cloak Lady her grandfather’s ring, the only valuable thing she owns, in exchange for Joyce’s “life”. I’m assuming by “life”, she means “a good complexion”, right?
Cloak Lady accepts, and then she turns ugly again while both Kat and Joyce turn pretty once more, and Kat gets Grandpa’s ring back. Talk about a sweet deal.
Then Kat and Joyce return home, where Hot Soccer Guy is still waiting. He’s totally not mad that she doesn’t have the concert tickets, and tells her that he just wanted an excuse to get to know her better. They take a walk together instead. Sweet! The story ends with the two of them talking and smiling.
And then it’s back to the Midnight Society. Now that the story’s over, everyone’s heading home. Gary tries to flirt with Sam in his usual lame way, while Tucker and Stig stay behind for a moment. Tucker asks Stig why he said he was going to bring something but didn’t, and Stig confesses that he felt kind of weird, because his object wasn’t as cool as everyone else’s. Um, Stig, I’m pretty sure anything you bring is going to be a heck of a lot cooler than Sam’s ugly old bracelet.
Stig shows Tucker a picture of his pet goldfish, the most valuable thing in his life. Like a loyal, caring friend, Tucker makes fun of Stig and runs off with the picture, yelling for the other members of the Midnight Society to check out what a douche Stig is.
Note to self: add Tucker to Ass-Kicking To-Do List.
Here’s the part of the recap where I would offer my interpretation of the moral of the story, but I’m really not sure with this one. You could say that it’s about valuing people over objects, but then wouldn’t that mean Kat should have given Crazy Cloak Lady her grandpa’s ring in exchange for those running shoes? That doesn’t sound right. So maybe the moral of the story is… um…. shop online?