Annie Leibovitz Should Make Jessica Chastain Dress Up As These Five Paintings


For this month’s Vogue, Annie Leibovitz shot a series of photos, including the cover, of Jessica Chastain sitting around being stone cold gorgeous and styled to look like various classic paintings. On the cover she’s styled after Fredric Leighton’s Flaming June:


Vogue’s website has the other photos, which we will not reproduce here because otherwise Vogue would sue us for a bazillion dollars, but if you’ve ever wanted to see Jessica Chastain posed like this Magritte painting:


…you should get on buying this month’s Vogue.

The rest of the paintings are the usual classic suspects: Van Gogh, Klimt…you get the picture. (WE DID NOT INTEND THAT TO BE A PUN THERE IS JUST NO OTHER WAY TO SAY IT. GEEZ.) We think that Chastain really missed an opportunity to expand her oeuvre, so we’ve got some other paintings she should really get photographed as.

Picasso – Weeping Woman

Annie Leibovitz Should Make Jessica Chastain Dress Up As These Five Paintings

Just slice your face in two and add a jaunty hat. Voila!

Edvard Munch – The Scream


Shave head, throw side hip like you are auditioning for America’s Next Top Model, and you’ll be perfect.

Salvador Dali – The Persistence of Memory


Lay down on your side while someone melts a giant pocket watch over you. Beautiful.

Claude Monet – The Bridge at Argenteuil


Allow Annie Leibovitz to cast your entire body in steel and stone. Demand lesser actresses (looking at you, Lindsay Lohan and Cameron Diaz) be turned into boats.

Paul Cezanne – Still Life with Skull


By far the most difficult, but also the most rewarding artistically. Die, decay, and then have Annie Leibovitz artfully arrange fruit around your skull. Gorgeous!

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  • Lazy Media

    Jessica Chastain gets points for being purdy and kinda butch, but loses points for starring in horrible war porn. Then gains points for these pitchers. So in the black!

  • Farb

    Red hot? Redhead, ay-yah. But, I’d say, Passable. Okay.