Alone in the Dark (2005) (part 6 of 8)

New-agey music takes us back to Carnby’s place, and sure enough, Tara is climbing into his bed and the two proceed to make out. And they’re right on cue. This is the lull between the two big “crisis” scenes, so of course it’s the perfect moment for the hero to have sex with the lead girl.

I recognize the song that’s playing, too. It’s Neneh Cherry’s “7 Seconds”, one of those songs that was a smash hit in every country besides the United States. [Fuck. Another great song ruined by two cheesy actors groping at each other. I’ll never be able to listen to “These Arms of Mine” again, and now “7 Seconds” is eternally off my playlists, too. For the record, “7 Seconds” is a song about racism! Only a jackass like Uwe Boll would score a sex scene with this song. Actually, with his severely limited English skills, he probably has no idea what the song is about in the first place. I’m sorry, I tried to give ToiletBoll the benefit of the doubt, I really did, but now he’s made this personal. —Albert]

Caption contributed by Albert

“Looking at your boobs totally makes me realize that it only takes 7 seconds to judge another human being.”

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The Fili

Hi, my name is Matthias, I am a student of English and German, and may one day even get to teach these (if my university ever works out how to run a B.A. system). I live in a medium-sized German town few have ever heard of, and have only recently discovered the joys of suffering through horrible movies, describing them in every little... okay, let's forget about the joy and make that therapeutic effect.

Multi-Part Article: Alone in the Dark (2005)

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