Feb 27, 2018
Alone in the Dark (2005) (part 2 of 8)
Cut to the front lawn of the orphanage. Well, I’m just assuming it’s an orphanage. Children + Nun = Orphanage, right? Police are all over the place. The sheriff (I presume) is told that all twenty kids from the orphanage have gone missing. Sister Doesn’t-Talk-In-The-Dark tells a cop that she went to check on the children “after the power went out”. I’d assume the power outage was connected to the Bride of Frankenstein props in the shack, except we saw the house fully lit in the background while the electric whatsit was merrily spraying sparks.
The nun says, “Their beds were empty, every one of them. They just…” wait for it, wait, one-potato, two-potato… “disappeared.”
Back in the shack, there’s a close-up of Electric Boy’s eye, which displays a reflection of two creatures that look like a cross-breed between the wargs from Lord of the Rings, Deanzilla, and Skeletor. Later, we’ll also see that the creatures were “inspired” a great deal by H.R. Giger’s aliens.
Before I have time to wonder how these two huge beasts can fit into the tiny shack (or when they’re going to have Sparky for dinner), there’s a flash of white light, and Christian Slater wakes up. Yes, that would be Agony Booth Repeat Offender Christian Slater, who also seemed to doze off a great deal in 3000 Miles to Graceland.
Assuming he was having a flashback dream just now, you’d think he’d be mildly perturbed, but he actually seems quite relaxed. Those were the days, huh? When ugly demon puppies roamed the earth wild and free, and kids could go inside places with “high voltage—keep out” signs. I’m in a generous mood right now, so I’ll assume that what I’m watching now is “22 years later”, so at least the earlier caption will make some kind of sense.