May 1, 2020
Alexander the Great “Pilot” (part 5 of 7)
Now it’s time to cut loose, ancient Greek style! This is probably the scene that Adam West blew all out of proportion to the point where thirty years later, it became an orgy scene. Instead, all we see are toga-clad men and women standing around and drinking wine, and watching in utter bliss as two men have weak fisticuffs.
Alexander arrives to break up the match, and Cletus Van Damme explains that he was simply showing “Tauron” how Alexander got away from “that prison beggar”. I have no idea what he’s talking about. Is it that difficult to get away from prison beggars? I think I’d be more worried about the prison rapists.
Alexander says Tauron is “an engineer, not a fighter” (and one would assume, also not a bricklayer) so Alexander steps up to duke it out with Cletus personally. Cletus chuckles, because Alexander is so very much smaller than he is, ha hah! He sticks out a finger to wag it disapprovingly at Alexander, so Alexander grabs his arm and flips him onto his back. Well, so much for calling him Cletus Van Damme.
Cletus gets up and wraps his arms around Alexander’s waist, lifting him up and giving us ample view of Shatner’s tidy whities.
And then, right before our eyes, Shatner invents one of Captain Kirk’s trademark fighting moves. He flails out his arms, pretending to be beaten, then suddenly brings them together, boxing his opponent’s ears. Cletus is disoriented, which allows Alexander to judo toss him to the ground. The fight seems about to continue, but quickly ends in laughter.
Cleander runs up and Adam West gets his second line with, “Good lesson, [Cletus]! I’ve always wanted to know how to fall without breaking any bones!” Zing! Don’t get too high on yourself, Cleander. It wasn’t that long ago that someone was thanking Zeus you’re not king.
Several of the men propose a toast to Alexander, who according to them has proven that “as Aesop said, a quick fox is better than a dumb ox!” A dumb ox? Damn, everybody’s bagging on Cletus today.