5 Great American Tunes For Your 4th Of July Party

5 Great American Tunes For Your 4th Of July Party

Hey gang! Happy 4th of July! While you fire up the grill, throw open the cooler and crack a cold one, you’re gonna want to listen to some sweet all-American jams! Lucky for you, we’ve got the five American tunes sure to bring the fun to your patriotic party. Read on and rock out!

“Born in the USA” by Bruce Springsteen

What better way to kick off the holiday than with this ode to the futility of working-class life in post-Vietnam America? Where’s the Miller Lite?

“Suicide is Painless” by Johnny Mandel (the M*A*S*H theme song)

“The game of life is hard to play/I’m gonna lose it anyway.” Hooray! Fuck yeah! Thank you for your service, countless veterans with PTSD! Maybe you’ll end up homeless like so many of your brethren and sistren! America takes care of its own, j/k, eat a hot dog.

“Me and a Gun” by Tori Amos

The hippest trend on American campuses is shaming and blaming sexual assault victims, so let’s party down with Tori. Nothin’ says lovin’ like this fun summer tune! Hey, are those Cool Ranch Doritos?

“Hurt” by Johnny Cash (covering Trent Reznor)

“I hurt myself today/to see if I still feel/I focused on the pain/the only thing that’s real.” ALRIGHT! YEAH! WOOOOOT! Who’s got marshmallows? You guys got marshmallows? You know there’s like pig parts in that, right? That’s what I heard.

“Walk on the Wild Side” by Lou Reed

There is nothing more American than the sadness and pain inherent in low-paid streetcorner sex work. Yo where the sour cream dip at? We got potato chips? Where the potato chips at? Aww, fuck dude, didn’t see ’em, they’re like right in front of me. I’m so drunk! YEAAAAAAH! Fireworks!

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  • natoslug

    I drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry/and my ignition switch failed so we all died/something something something whiskey and pie . . .

  • Tracer Bullet

    Hey, let’s get some diversity up in this joint. “The World’s Biggest Dick” NWA’s misogynistic ode to gang bangs, if not actual gang rape.“Strange Fruit” Let Lady Day remind you of the horrors of lynching“Pusherman” Curtis Mayfield’s classic depiction of the life and times of an urban pharmaceutical distributor“Across 110th Street” The late, great Bobby Womack’s hit song includes the chorus, “Across 110th Street/Pimps tryin’ to cch a woman that’s weak. Across 110th Street/Pushers won’t let the junkie go free.”

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    Do I have to go over to terrible news for terrible people to get some Woody Guthrie?

  • BMW

    If you rock out with your cock out, don’t send anyone a pic of it.

  • Ambignostic

    Some folks were born made to wave the flag. Ooh, they’re red, white, and blue!

    • MSheridan

      Some folks are born silver spoon in handLord, don’t they help themselves, oh

    • It ain’t me, it ain’t meee…

  • Jaime Oria

    “God Bless America (Pat McDonald Must Die)” by James McMurtry

  • JohnBull

    My list exactly. No snark.

  • MSheridan

    How about something from the Eagles? Everybody loves the Eagles, amirite? The Last Resort, maybe, or Long Road Out of Eden. Or we could get a parallax perspective. Buffy Sainte-Marie’s Now That the Buffalo’s Gone, or My Country ‘Tis of Thy People You’re Dying. There are a lot of songs about America by Americans. The majority aren’t cheerful.

    • msanthropesmr

      I hate the fucking Eagles, man

  • TheLifeSilica
  • sorbs

    “4th of July” by X. Fireworks, cigarettes, and Mexican kids. What more do you need for the froth of joo-lie?

    • msanthropesmr

      Nothing. Nothing more. What ever happened, I apologize.

      • sorbs

        Hey, baby….

  • Hah! Coastal Elite Urbane Sophisticates only play Limey music at our Independence Day parties, & call it “Losers’ Day.”

    • hvdv

      Out here in the socialist republic of Oakland we serve French food and only play French music, because if it weren’t for the French, you’d all be speaking English now. Yeh yeh! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAn_M3pnPI4

  • Homestar

    I love all these songs. This is really what it feels like to be “born in the USA”. Don’t want to be corny, but it’s true. I get one day out of the year to celebrate our faults and our victories, and it’s bittersweet.

  • Brendan_M

    Jesus Christ (blonde, masculine American one), cheer the fuck up.

  • Brendan_M

    Or wallow . Whatever, it’s America. You’re free to do what you want.