19 Kids And Counting Recap: Daddy Duggar Goes To Nepal

Last week on 19 Kids and Counting, it was a holiday episode for the Duggars, which was disorienting and weird. Then again, this show is always disorienting and weird. Let’s torment ourselves with this week’s episode, shall we?

Christ this week is a double-length episode. You people owe us all the things. Send morphine.

Jill is packing up to go see her cyberbuddy Derick, who is on a mission in Nepal. Of course she’s going to be escorted by Daddy Duggar. They’re not officially courting, because they’ve never met. Meanwhile, Daddy Duggar is putting together a suitcase with a wide selection of Daddy Duggar polo shirts.

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Daddy Duggar had already been a prayer partner with Derick, and then he played matchmaker and hooked up Derick with Jill. Derick sends her letters, which makes her coo in that weird childlike way that all the Duggar ladies seem to have.

Mom and Daddy Duggar give Jill a pep talk that mostly consists of telling Jill that it might not work out. Insightful!

Also, we’re so irritated that either the Duggars have enough money to jet off to Nepal or that TLC has paid for them to jet off to Nepal. Either way, unfair.

Christ, but it is boring to listen to a random twenty-something who has never dated talk about her big dating hopes. We want hazard pay.

Now we have to interview every other Duggar child, including the tiny ones, about what THEY think about Jill going off to Nepal to meet Derick. Some think it is cool! Some think it is weird! Some are four years old and have no idea what the hell is going on!

Derick is meeting Jill! He almost but not quite gives her a real hug instead of a side hug. Horrors!

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Here’s Derick with a stilted explanation of how he went to high school and college and then to Nepal and now he is excited to see Jill. Almost like a real boy!

Here’s some random footage of Nepal. There is lots of traffic! It is kind of scary! Daddy Duggar has never seen traffic like this and actually says it was the scariest thing he has ever gone through. For real??

Back home, Mom Duggar is cooking breakfast for everyone and here is a helpful factoid about how much of the Earth’s resources the Duggars consume.

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These people are the worst.

The youngest child (we think it is the youngest?) is having a meltdown, as four-year-olds do. Everyone gets five minutes to play with a big bouncy ball. Wait. You can afford to go to Nepal, but you only sprang for one bouncy ball that has to be shared??

Back in Nepal, Daddy Duggar feels like a third wheel. He’s trying to stay 20 feet back from them, which makes it look like he’s a private detective tailing them.

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Best date ever!

More random footage of Nepal and interviewing Derick about how happy he is to meet Jill. Also, we’re interviewing the other Duggar children yet again about what they think! They think Jill likes Derick! They think they should wait and see what happens!

Oh sweet martyred Jesus, they are going to go buy Nepali traditional clothes. Daddy Duggar seems to think that all brown people are Spanish-speaking, so he tells the shopkeeper he needs “large — grande — large” clothing. Worst person on Earth.

Now we have a rundown of other ethnic outfits worn by Daddy Duggar. He wore a kilt in Scotland. He wore a kimono in Japan. We do not get to go to either Scotland or Japan, because we do not have a baseball-team-sized brood that got us a teevee show.

Here is a shot of Daddy Duggar wriggling himself into ill-fitting Nepalese clothing, because we hate ourselves.

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Oh for fuck’s sake. Daddy Duggar greets the next shopkeeper with a hearty “hola!” Dude, these people are not Mexicans. We know it is difficult for you to figure out the difference between various types of brown people, but perhaps the fact that NO ONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH might tip you off.

Now that Jill and Derick have spent exactly two days together, it is time for Daddy Duggar to quiz them on how the relationship is going, because that makes a ton of sense. Jill is not sure if Derick likes her! Daddy Duggar is not sure if this is God’s will!

Daddy Duggar has to bitch about the Nepalese food, because although Daddy Duggar is a world traveler, he is, at heart, a yokel.

19 Kids And Counting Recap: Daddy Duggar Goes To Nepal

He’s very concerned about what the meat is and he’s very concerned that the sauce is spicy and he thinks Nepalese food tastes like Chinese food and he is the worst. Jill is no better, and says that if the lord is willing, she will never have to try it again. We cannot believe these ingrate people are in Nepal and we are in a blogging hovel.

Mom Duggar and Jessa are going to have some special mother-daughter bonding at a coffee shop. They coo in childlike voices over the coffee they get. It’s a fucking mocha, ladies.

Jessa is not as emotional as Ben, so Mom Duggar gives her lessons on how to coo at Ben about how special he is. Apparently most of courting means that most ladies have to talk like babies. And then Mom uses this as a pivot to talk about Mom and how she loves having babies. Well, what else does Mom have to do, really?

Back in Nepal, Derick wants to have a chat with Daddy Duggar all man-to-man alone. He takes the big plunge and asks if he can court Jill. Daddy Duggar gives his blessing and they share a manly Christian side hug.

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Does she say yes? Haha you will not know until the next episode, which I will have to watch for you people like a goddamn sacrificial lamb.

Catch up in the archives

19 Kids and Counting Season Eight Episode One
19 Kids and Counting Season Eight Episode Two
19 Kids and Counting Season Eight Episode Three
19 Kids and Counting Season Eight Episode Four
19 Kids and Counting Season Eight Episode Five
19 Kids and Counting Season Eight Episode Six

TV Show: 19 Kids and Counting

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  • Mojopo

    Hola? I can’t even. This is repulsive. Stop it this instant – this is not good for you or anyone.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      where do we get the tasty Nepalese tacos?

      • Mojopo

        Jeez, let me ask Sherpa Juan Carlos about dried sheep gorditas. It didn’t get any Yelp hits.

    • Sephia8

      That annoyed me to no end, listening to him speak Spanish. I bitched to my Puerto Rican husband and children about how wrong it was of him to be so insulting!Derick told him repeatedly to say “Namaste” and Daddy is too dimwitted and religionist to actually say THAT!

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    It’s not that he thinks all brown people speak Spanish; he’s just trying to emulate the Spaniards, who were the best at proselytizing.

    • Lizzietish81

      Those papists?!

      • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

        The papists may worship the saints and pray to statues, but at least they’re not pagans, like these Nepalesies seem to be.

        • Mojopo

          The Spaniards are giving away dual citizenship these days, to Jewish people. If you or someone you know had Sephardic Jewish ancestors who were kicked out of Spain about 500 years ago, you can claim dual citizenship. The regs are going to be sort of loose, and come with some piping fresh boilerplate apologies delivered with that insufferable lisp.

          • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

            They’ll do anything to get people to move in and spend money and/or be industrious.Y fueron felithes y comieron perdithes.

          • Tusket

            Now that’s funny….

  • elpinche

    Call Neil Degrasse Tyson. I have proof THERE IS NO GOD.

  • BMW

    If these people didnt have a reality show and got government benefits, I would totally join the Tea Party.

    • doingthis1moretime

      I would join the tea party if they took this show off the air. Ok no I wouldn’t because this blog is fucktastickly awesome and I really fucking hate the tea party more than the Duggar’s, or maybe as much as but yeah.

  • doingthis1moretime

    In Daddy Duggar’s defense (did I really say that) I’ve been to India, & Nepal is no different. I imagine only full scale war would be more terrifying than a street crowded full of cars in either country. Imagine NYC with NO RULES. I went for work and my guide said, just get in and close your eyes, it will be easier. I didn’t listen, the 1st time.

    • Haribo Lector

      I misread your first sentence and thought “I’ve driven through Gary once and I don’t remember it being that bad.”

      • doingthis1moretime

        I’ve driven through Gary too, though it was more like spent 3 hours stuck in unmoving traffic in Gary.

  • FWIW, I believe that most of these quiverful families DO try to “drain the Beast” by taking HUGE government subsides in order to feed their offspring. ANd I am 100% positive that the Duggars did for many, many years, if they have stopped, which I doubt, because Grifters.

    • Sephia8

      Wow, so large families = gov’t assistant takers.I bet you also believe all black people use gov’t assistance too.Way to generalize families and people.You are so 100% positive that you have proof that they used gov’t assistance for “many, many years” right?!Because there is proof to the contrary of your “100% positive assumption”.They are worth $3.5 million.http://www.celebritynetworth.com/richest-celebrities/jim-bob-duggar-net-worth/

      • KittySoft Paws Rolufs

        Are you 100% sure KMTBerry was saying government subsidies=government assistance? There are different kinds of subsidies. Like for farmers when they pay them not to grow particular crops. And why are you so riled up about it?

        • KittySoft Paws Rolufs

          oh and by the way, many of those farmers are quite wealthy. Several are US Congressmen.

          • nnyl

            And they don’t actually have to farm–they just take subsidies.

      • Katie Meow Meow

        Celebrity Net Worth, though?As for them taking money, they have. They get FCC subsidies and are known tax cheats. And since you brought up black families… could you imagine if the Duggars were a black family. A black family that were living exactly as the Duggars did and do currently. The people that drool all over them would be the first to be calling them out as welfare queens who only reproduced to get more handouts.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    Daddy Dugar : “Donde esta el Mack Donald’s?”

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      “excuse me, Señor, yo quiero Taco Bell”

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Does anyone besides you actually watch this dreck?

    • arallyn

      They’re a fascinating sociological study….that’s a yes. Though I’d have paid money to go to a freak show back in the 19th century so that’s not saying much. Sadly, it’s one of TLC’s highest rated shows.

    • D G

      I have to admit I watched it on the tv and agree with arallyn….I just can’t understand HOW you can live like this and kind of want to give the kids something to open their eyes to the world, like the Internet! But then again, I think they’re lifestyle and ‘courtship’ is strange, but explaining that I meet ppl blacked out at bars would probably sound weird to them….

  • Antonin Dvorak

    “We know it is difficult for you to figure out the difference between various types of brown people, but perhaps the fact that NO ONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH might tip you off.”Or the fact that they seem not to write anything using the Latin alphabet; either way.

  • dimplasm

    Gawd, they are awful. And creepy. And creepy awful.

  • Rick Hill

    I used to think gawd was on vacation and out of work sitcom screenwriters had been filling in. I’m now thinking gawd is just high as fuck and doesn’t’ give a shit ’bout nothing anymore.

  • nothingisamiss

    I have to admit, Snipy, I have totally looked forward to these recaps. This program that I will never, ever see is horribly horrendous. You deserve all the nice things. I don’t have any morphine (well, none to share) but I will buy you all the drinks if I ever meet up with you.These are horrible people. Will we get to see a Very Special Episode when one of those kids comes out of the closet?

  • MaryAnn Lovier Jackman

    You are very brave. I could never watch these people under any circumstances. I think you were right to ask for morphine.

  • Tio_Doidinho

    Oh dear sweet motorboating Christ.Although as a lard-assed American we can totally relate to the foreign clothing size issue. An “L” in most developing countries is at best an “M” in the US. I think they do it to humiliate the turistas.

  • Leota2

    Are these the whitest most boring people on the planet?I’m just sayin’ ’cause I live in a very white midwestern state andwe’d be afraid of the Duggars.

  • JParkerSD46

    Another double episode? Ack! Karma will one day smile upon you.

  • Mario Strada

    The guy speaks spanish to the Nepalese? I knew he was a big douche, but sweet jesus weren’t the producers embarrassed if not for him at least for the rest of us with a US citizenship (note: not born here. Now almost regretting coming here 30 years ago)?

    • chelsea

      If a guy on a TV show that you dont have to watch makes your regret coming to the most improved FREE country then by all means go back to Mexico, China, Asia or NEPAL. Where ever the your from thats just one less stupid person HERE IN MY COUNTY THE UNTIED STATES OF AMÉRICA

      • Sterno

        She said UNTIED States of America. Get it? Hey Chels, one thing that apparently hasn’t improved is your ability to speak your own fucking language.

      • Ezzy666

        There are very few smart people left to talk with in this country. Don’t be enticing them to leave.I’m an American by birth, not choice.

  • Shannon Martinez

    What a YUTZ. I can’t beleive this shmuck gets to go to Nepal and all he does is make Americans look even MORE stupid, and whine like a baby. I don’t know how those girls stand this micromanaging bullshit, and constant supervision; I’d lose my shit.

  • Here’s another word for daddy duggars foreign word vocabulary…’pendejo’, is a word I’m sure he’ll hear a lot when he goes to Mexico…

  • tegrat

    Plenty of side hugs, but I’m not seeing much sideboob here. Just sayin’.

    • Ezzy666

      nobody wants to see Jimboob’s boobs.

  • JohnBull

    Next episode on 19: Daddy Duggar laments “Those Nepaleans didn’t respond to my hearty “hola”s. We’re just friendlier, I suppose. That’s why God loves the US best.

  • Nilan25

    United Stupids of America. No wonder the Palin-Gohmert Party elect people to office. Shame.

    • Lauren Borrero

      What dose Palin have to do with this? She wasn’t mentioned once in this article.

  • Lauren Borrero

    I like real hugs better.

  • CH177

    Never understood why someone would spend any time at all pizzing on someone else’s parade, let alone to do it almost full time.Life is short. Spend that time with someone who cares about you. Go for an ice cream. Take a nap. Get a REAL job.

    • Ezzy666

      Somebody has to watch it so we don’t have to. I admire the sacrifice.