19 Kids And Counting Recap: It's a 20 Questions Bro Down

In a move that is consummately unfair, this week is another double-Duggar-deluxe with two episodes back to back. We already disposed of the Jessa cooks for Ben one, so let’s move on to bigger and better things, shall we?

Oh Christ there’ going to be a goddamn actual factual baby being born on the show this week.

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Ben and Jinger and Jessa are flying to DC to visit Josh and Anna. No one on this show ever has to go to work or do anything that is a normal adult obligation. Ben is remarkably able to get time off from his kinda low-level job on the regular, and Jinger and Jessa have nothing to do with their lives except write their pretend book about being in courtships or whatever that thing is about.

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Jill and Jana love babies! They love helping mothers deliver babies! Oh hey Jill. Looks like you made it back from Nepal. One of these children is going to be a midwife and the other is going to be a doula. The only thing worse than giving birth, we imagine, is having a Duggar talk you through the process.

Fun fact about Jill and birthing babies!

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Out of that 1000 hours, how many do we think were for Mom Duggar?

Man, we hope that this poor lady that’s going to give birth on camera got paid super well. The cameras are just hanging about while Jessa talks in a soft voice until the lady starts screaming and then we have to watch a shaky cam version of the water birth and what looks suspiciously like a baby alien surging out of the water.

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Whoever this lady is already has four kids and they get hauled in by a Duggar to meet their newest sibling. Do the Duggars hang out with any people that just have like two or three kids, or is that verboten?

Mom and Dad Duggar are meeting with a high-risk pregnancy doctor to make sure she is ready to “catch a baby” if God wants to give her one. Throw her one? Is this a quiverfull thing to say you catch a baby? Also, holy crap lady, HANG IT UP. NO MORE BABIES.

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She will not stop saying “catch a baby.” The doctor is explaining that babies are made when an egg meets sperm and that nature and god might see fit to give Mom Duggar her twenty-thousandth baby but also too she is 48. 48 FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

Reminder that the last baby she had was born at 25 weeks and was one pound and six ounces and then she miscarried another baby at 18 weeks and CHRIST LADY STOP TRYING TO HAVE BABIES.

We get to see footage of what we presume is material from an earlier season where the cameras just hung out while she miscarried.

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Doctor dude is desperately trying to explain to Mom and Dad Duggar that the risk of having Down’s Syndrome child increases dramatically as the woman ages. Yeah yeah yeah, says Mom Duggar. She knows they have to tell her that, but she’s had oodles of babies after age 36, so there! Take that, science! Maybe she is menopausal, maybe she is not, maybe god will decide, maybe we will get to stop watching this show before that particular issue gets resolved.

Time for Ben and Jessa to head to DC with Jinger chaperoning because the entire purpose of courtship is apparently that temptation is never-ceasing and that left to your own devices you’ll do it right there on the place, so you need someone watching over you to hold you accountable.

You will not be surprised to learn that the entire purpose of the trip to DC is for big brother beefy-smack Josh to quiz Ben and Jessa about how the courtship is going. Is it serious? Is it half-hearted? Is it bigger than a breadbox? Is it an animal? Can it fly?

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Josh and Anna are trying to tell Ben about all the cool things he can do in DC like see monuments, but Ben’s big question is whether there is a gym nearby so he can work out. Josh, who has a soft round body and a soft round head, tries to macho up and talk about his workout routine too. He’s just one step away from an exploding fist bump.

The next morning, they bro down and go to the gym so that Ben can show Josh his sweet moves.

19 Kids And Counting Recap: It's a 20 Questions Bro Down

Weightlifting macho time is also time for Josh to ask Ben the exact same questions that he asked of Ben and Jessa last night: do you like her? Do you guys like each other? Are you serious? If you were a tree what kind of tree would you be? At the same time, Jessa is back at home being bothered by Anna about how exciting and important it would be if she and Ben get married. People, talk to each other about something else. Anything else. We beg of you.

DC trolly tour time! But we are not going to talk about DC or the monuments. We are going to talk about how nice it looks that Ben and Jessa are sitting on a trolley together, because it is SO SWEET TO SEE YOU GUYS. Also, there’s the creepiest factoid of this episode.

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We pity the poor intern that had to figure out how to dig up some bullshit fact about the Duggar clan and then relate it — no matter how tangentially — to some important DC building.

Ben was really into learning all about the monuments, but of course the most important part was being with Jessa, because there is nothing else in the world that matters.

You guys, we still haven’t seen Duggar Child Dinner Theater. And we still don’t know if Mom Duggar is in menopause yet. Sweet god in heaven above, how many more episodes must we watch? Why has thou forsaken us?

Catch up in the archives

19 Kids and Counting Season Eight Episode One
19 Kids and Counting Season Eight Episode Two
19 Kids and Counting Season Eight Episode Three
19 Kids and Counting Season Eight Episode Four
19 Kids and Counting Season Eight Episode Five
19 Kids and Counting Season Eight Episode Six
19 Kids and Counting Season Eight Episode Seven
19 Kids and Counting Season Eight Episode Eight
19 Kids and Counting Season Eight Episode Nine

TV Show: 19 Kids and Counting

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