10 Hobby Lobby Products That Sound Like Birth Control But Aren’t

10 Hobby Lobby Products That Sound Like Birth Control But Aren't

Today’s SCOTUS decision on birth control has us feeling creative! In addition to writing a fantastic one-act play called “The Taming Of The Slut,” we’ve compiled a list of ten Hobby Lobby products that sound like birth control or abortifacients (these are two different things, but not according to the douchedudes on the Supreme Court!) but are actually not, mostly! Enjoy!

10. Modge Podge

9. Trust in the Lord Plaster Mold

8. Sculpey

7. The sadness of lonely grandmothers

6. Duct tape

5. 3-D embellishment stickers

4. Pinking shears

3. True Vanilla Scent Sticks

2. English Garden Potpurri In Decorative Bird Cage

1. Coat hangers

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  • Snarknado

    Pipe Cleaners tho

  • BigRedDog

    Go nest door to walgreens and buy an aspirin.

    • tjdubya

      Ha! Because women are sluts if they have sex and don’t want a pregnancy. Excellent joke every time.

  • natoslug

    My lifelong boycott of Hobby Lobby continues. It still counts as a boycott if I have no idea where the closest Hobby Lobby is, and don’t craft, right?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Well, it might mean more if you looked the locations up so you would actively be boycotting.

      • natoslug

        After today’s SCOTUS decision, I’m not risking unprotected or wanton googling.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I saw some quick faux stained glass materials. Maybe I could make a cool stained glass window from vaginas?

  • Mojopo

    I hate crafting. Scrapbooking is a bad habit, like picking one’s ears or silently farting into a plane seat when someone is sitting behind you. Don’t even start with decoupage.

  • Zyxomma

    I am a lifelong crafty person, and have never set foot in Hobby Lobby, nor will I at any time in the future. In fact, I never heard of HL (which looks a lot like Hell) before this ridiculous suit.

  • mtn_philosoph

    11. Stain remover.12. Floam.