RAW FEED: What Normal Feminists Are Like

I don’t know why I do this to myself. Seriously, I’m not trying to pick a fight. I’m just tired of hearing about radical feminists. Brace for impact.

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  • The Horror Guru

    I loved this video, very well done. =)

    You perfectly articulated a lot of the issues I’ve been going through with all the recent feminism arguments because for the first time in my life I’ve been running into a huge amount of the “crazy feminists” I use to think were mere fabrications of the media. Turns out they exist, and they’ve been seriously making me reconsider my convictions.

    I think the core problem here is that while the internet gives everyone a voice, it’s typically the loudest that get heard. In this particular case, the loudest also happen to be the craziest. So you have pretty reasonable people on both sides arguing mainly with the crazies – the radical feminist, the men’s rights activist, etc… – and fortunately one crazy has a nasty side effect of fueling the other. Not to mention the sad fact it’s only a matter of time before a reasonable person arguing with the unreasonable becomes unreasonable themselves due to a combination of anger, frustration and helplessness.

    Side note, but I loved hearing your well-rounded thoughts on the subject of chivalry. I was raised to believe men should do all those things – Open the doors, carry the heavy objects, pay for dinner – because it’s the polite thing to do. When I hit college, however, I went on a few dates who yelled at me for doing those things because according to them it implied they were too weak to do them on their own. I apologised and after the third girl it happened with I decided I wasn’t going to it anymore… Then I got yelled at for -not- doing those things a couple times. XD Oh well, such is life.

    • Magdalen

      Glad you enjoyed it, Guru! Don’t worry, most feminists aren’t going to jump down your throat for holding a door open. 🙂

      • Arakasi_99

        In real life (yes, I know this is anecdotal), the only times I’ve seen a woman get upset when a man holds the door for her are when he makes a big deal about it. It could be running ahead just so he can open door, esp when there are multiple doors in a row or making a grandiose gesture to wave her through. The big one that gets my wife is when he opens the door way too early, so she’s stuck either jogging the last 20 yards to the door or letting him stand there like an idiot for 20-30 seconds.

  • MephLord

    I agree with the argument you make on many levels. Women judge each other on levels I’m sure men can’t even fathom, women deserve equality in all jobs they are capable of (I wouldn’t expect an unqualified person to be on a job that couldn’t handle it regardless of gender) and calling an entire gender either rapists or man-haters is fucking stupid.

    The most interesting comment is your comment on the sexualization of women. If a man says “Megan Fox is hot” that’s OK? Sounds innocent enough to me. It reminds me of a comment I made on this site when said “I didn’t know Kitsune2020 was so easy on the eyes” and Sofie was one to say that the comment was innocent and fun, and I still don’t know if Kitsune2020 herself was offended by that comment. Because it was meant as a complement, as I both admire her beauty and her artwork.

    So I’m guessing unless you get to know a person and their personal boundaries about etiquette play it safe. Because what may be an innocent to someone will be an insult to another. Does that sound reasonable? Also the forum you are in makes a difference. Talking crazy shit in YouTube doesn’t give you permission to talk crazy at the Agony Booth, and if you are talking crazy about Ron Paul on an official US government website, don’t be surprised if you get looked at. Does that make sense to anyone else?

    • Magdalen

      Personally I wouldn’t have been offended but I can see where the justification for offense comes from. Women are very aware that they are judged by their appearance all the time. We often get judged on our appearance when it should be totally irrelevant. Like our job. Like when fans were complaining at Nostalgia Chick for gaining weight a few years ago. She’s not a model, or a fitness trainer, her show has nothing to do with her appearance and yet she was judged harshly for a minor “slip up”.

      So some women can get offended because they’re just tired of hearing about their looks when it has nothing to do with their work. Sorry, I hope that was helpful!

  • AspiringDevil

    Well put and thank you for defining feminism for people. It is always a shame to see people refuse to use the term feminism based on a false definition. Also agree with your discussion points on the “radical feminists” and why thy may feel that way. I think your right a lot are victims lashing out in an unhealthy manner or the mentally ill. I sadly have met more than a few and most of them fall into those two categories.

    You summed up the chivalry argument well. I myself have firsthand experience with that one, I open the door for my date and get the upset reaction and as you said caught between I don’t want to be chauvinist pig , but I also want to be a gentlemen to my date.

  • The Beauty Industry: Making women feel like shit so they will buy their shit since the industry began.

  • JD

    Ah Modern chivalry.
    Its hard to know now when those actions, holding open doors,holding the chair ,paying for the date,killing spiders,ect, is expected to be done, or how well received it will be ,especially on a 1st date. I was raised to do these things but it was never supposed to be about the fact the lady could not open a door for her self, its about politeness and respect.And I’m not going to stop doing these things its a habit.
    radicals in any movement never help the movement.
    WBC needs to go away.

  • Alexa

    It also doesn’t help at all when shows or movies portray a feminist character as a really crazy man hater. Now that is really annoying, and that is where a lot of people, not all mind you, get that idea of how feminism works.

    • Magdalen

      Very true, I can’t think of one positive portrayal of a feminist in a movie or tv show at the moment.

      • The Horror Guru

        Liz Lemon comes to mind.

        • Alexa

          Yeah but the other characters would make fun of her for being a feminist most of the time, it seemed. But you’re right Liz Lemon does count. 🙂

          • The Horror Guru

            It was a comedy show. Everybody made fun of everybody for everything. =P

          • Alexa

            I know…But…Okay I guess my logic was low when I wrote that. 🙂

      • CaptainCalvinCat

        What about Samantha Carter from Stargate? She should be viewed as feminist icon – able to handle, whatever “the guys” can handle, while saying, that she is a feminist – and not a “straw feminist” at that. She does not “preach feminism and destroys peace” (as in the example of Feminist Frequencies episode “the Straw Feminist”), she is a modern woman, has a feminist mindset, can kick ass, yet be nice, so… I’d say that is a positive portrayal of a feminist.

        Or… what about Wonder Woman – she is a feminist (granted, she doesn’t SAY it, but – I think, she doesn’t need to… let the actions speak for themselves ^^).

        • jjramsey

          The catch is that while there are certainly positive portrayals of female characters who might be characterized as being feminist after the fact, positive portrayals of female characters who self-identify as feminists appear to be far fewer.

        • Magdalen

          jjramsey is right. There are positive portrayals of women here and there, but when it comes to self-identified Feminists, I can’t think of one who isn’t an overbearing stereotype.

  • Jay_Bay

    My opinion is that I just try to be an equalist. I understand the need for stuff like feminists and racial advocates and gay rights activists and the like: As a society, they is always shifts of power and power tends to collect in pockets very often. But it seems (thanks to the radicals) that they are not advocating for equality, but superiority. So those words (feminists, NAACP, GLAAD…) have negative implications place on them. And, like Alexa said, the media is not helping matters as they pump the negativity on blast.

    So in others words: I agree with Nycea and why can’t we all get along.

    EDIT-about the chivalry, well…..being a boy from the South, I can say if I don’t do those nice things to be nice then my grandma would come down from above and smack the shit out of me. But most chivarious things are just nice gestures, what someone with manners will normally do, right?

  • Jim

    I enjoyed listening to your definition of a feminist; I just had a couple of questions: are you stating that a published feminist author like Andrea Dworkin was not a normal feminist? Her own radical views of all heterosexual relations as a form of rape were well documented in her books and articles. Secondly, are you stating that one should shun Limbaugh’s conservative political views in favour of Gloria Steinem’s political affiliations which are heavily aligned with radical left politics since the late ’60s? I would think that your arguments for treating all people with equality and respect should transcend the political extremes on either side; it would win you a larger audience.
    I understand your critique of women being judged by their appearance, but in my experience, other women are far harsher in their criticism of the physical appearance and dress of other women than men. I witnessed women being absolutely brutal towards each other when the group mentality decides to shun or shame another woman.
    Just my two cents. I really enjoy your PGSM reviews.

    • Alexa

      She kind of mentioned that women can harsh with other women as well…

    • Magdalen

      I don’t agree with Andrea Dworkin’s views, at least the ones I’m aware of personally. Just because someone’s published a book doesn’t mean they have a reasonable argument. She comes down hard on pornography, and yes, pornography is extremely problematic in regards to it’s portrayals of women- that’s not BECAUSE it’s porn. It’s because it’s porn made from within- and strictly for- a sexist society. Porn in concept is awesome and I’m a big fan. You can write that down.

      Limbaugh is a disgusting jingoist pig. He’s inflammatory, irrational, bigoted, racist and completely devoid of human empathy for his fellow man. He should be shunned whether or not you agree with Steinem. While I don’t agree with everything Steinem has said, she’s made a lot of compelling points over the years that she’s backed up with evidence and debate. Her intention has always been to raise awareness and uplift women- not trash men.

      I think you may have misunderstood my point about equality. One shouldn’t be discriminated against on the basis of their sex, race, age, sexual orientation- etc. Things about yourself you have no control over. People should be judged on their actions and words, not themselves. So if you’re a jingoist douchey bigot who goes around bashing women, atheists, gays and the like… well yeah, I’m going to judge that guy. He can go fuck himself.

      And you’re absolutely right, women can be incredibly harsh toward each other. Remember, sexism isn’t something men do to women. It’s something that everyone in a culture suffers from and inflicts on each other. Men are not the villains here. 🙂

      • $36060516

        “Porn in concept is awesome and I’m a big fan. You can write that down.”

        Porn Critic / PGSM crossover!

  • For me at least, the very word feminist, like the term ‘nice-guy’ has been heavily tainted by the straw(wo)men over the years, now when I hear those words, my hackles are raised.

  • Joelkazoo

    AMAZING video! The only thing, speaking from personal experience, that you didn’t really address is the reason men feel the need to pay for things is not a sense of chivalry, but because they don’t want to put off an air of being cheap and/or broke. Care to address this?

    • Magdalen

      I think a lot of men feel compelled to pay because there is a societal obligation. Whether it’s based on chivalry or on the feeling to prove you’re a good provider, both are rooted in outdated gender norms for both men and women.