Wayward Pines: Let the Abbie Apocalypse Begin

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Ethan drops off Ben—who is not dead because that would be a total bummer—at the hospital, where Pam assures him the guy speaking medical gobbledygook is a real doctor and not a former convenience store clerk playing a doctor in Wayward Pines, even if that’s exactly what he sounds like.

“Children are our most precious resource,” Pam says with utmost sincerity. She’s on a sincerity kick the entire episode, although we also get hints of the old psychopathic Pam, so it’s hard to know how to interpret anything she says.

Amy is walking and conscious. Ted the truck driver is dead.

Pilcher shows up at the hospital and confers with his sister. Despite having seen the extreme unhappiness of the citizenry up close and personal for as long as the place has been in existence, he is freaked out that the peasants are revolting. Pam suggests a nice faux-pep rally, a.k.a. a “fellowship meeting.” But can they really afford to let everyone take a day off from their fake jobs?

Harold is in the woods with one live co-conspirator and one dead one. The dead one is maybe one of the guys who was trying to obstruct the road. The live one is possibly the explosives expert from last week. If you can keep track of their names and faces, you’re doing a better job than I am. So let’s just refer to them as the Red Shirt and his Corpse-Buddy.

The Adventures of Red Shirt and Corpse Buddy, this fall on FOX.

The Adventures of Red Shirt and Corpse Buddy, this fall on FOX.

Kate’s still in jail, where she’s having a flashback to when her hair was shorter and she was wearing a straightjacket in a padded cell. She’s talking to “Doc Jenkins,” who’s pretending to be interested. That was two months after she “arrived” in town.

In her 20s, Kate had short hair and was often mistaken for Liza Minnelli.

In her 20s, Kate had short hair and was often mistaken for Liza Minnelli.

Ethan goes to the jail so he can yell at Kate and tell her how her husband’s bomb almost killed his kid. She still thinks he’s been brainwashed about “the monsters” and Boise awaits. Here’s a clue, Ethan: try asking Kate how it is that Ben is still the same age he was twelve years ago when she last saw him?

Kate believes everything she sees in internet ads.

Pam is interrogating the surveillers because she and David can’t figure out how the conspiracy wasn’t discovered earlier. Most of them LOVE people watching, especially when they catch the townies shaking with fear in their beds, but it turns out one outlier, Reggie, has gone soft. Sometimes if people are just asking questions, he doesn’t report the “infraction.” Sometimes he even blurs the image for privacy. Of course Pilcher is watching the interview from his lair, but surprise—Pam is unaware her brother is watching! How long has he been her brother again? Later, she tells Pilcher that everyone is “loyal.” When he pointedly asks if everyone is following all the protocols, she lies again. You’d think she’d be able to read him, especially given that he’s saying everything with ginormous air quotes and a large side of sarcasm.

Is Pam a secret sympathizer? Probably not, but it looks like she feels the volunteers are “their people” and should be treated differently than the random folk what they kidnapped.

Ben’s come to and is being smothered with love by Momma. He asks his mother to go check on Amy and breaks her heart. When Teresa leaves, Megan steps in. She’s mad at someone! Is it Ben for sneaking out of his house to meet Amy? Nope. She’d love for them to start on the babymaking. She’s mad at Ethan for letting Harold (the man who built the bomb) go, which Ethan did probably because Harold’s married to “his friend” Kate. She tells Ben the law must be followed or people will be hurt and penalties should be “clear and severe.” Got that, Ben? Clear and severe. You are getting sleepy and when you wake up you will kill your parents.

"Your mother really took all the challenge out of brainwashing you to believe whatever an older, domineering woman told you."

“Your mother really took all the challenge out of brainwashing you to believe whatever an older, domineering woman told you.”

Later, when Teresa tells her to stay away from her son, Megan just about winks at the surveillance camera. It’s the type of high-camp this show could use more of. Now that Pam’s gone soft, is Megan the new big bad? And is hypnosis her superpower?

The fellowship meeting features the Mayor, who’s good at saying nothing, but then Ethan takes the stage and announces there was indeed a bomb, people are missing, and they all should go home until this is resolved. Pilcher is not pleased with all this truth telling.

Amy visits Ben and lies down next to him. She says she’s okay but has a headache, which usually on television means she’ll be dead soon. That would totally make sense, as then Ben would have a reason to hate Ethan forever. She tells Ben she wants to be a nurse someday. Check the list: head injury, feeling okay, looking forward to the future. She’s got to be a goner or the show is just trolling us.

Ethan and Teresa have a moment filled with backstory that will probably be important later—or we’ve just wasted five minutes for nothing. It seems that those “Easter bombings” referred to way back involved Ethan catching some big time terrorist and then letting him go per government orders, and then the terrorist blew up over 600 people, which is why he was sleeping with Kate. So the moral of the story seems to be he shouldn’t always follow orders. (Or maybe he should never let people go because they immediately go bomb people.)

Kate has another flashback, again featuring Doc Jenkins. No more padded room. She’s an outpatient. We can tell it’s more recent because her hair is longer and she has that tight fake smile she usually sports. Jenkins/Pilcher tells her she’s made great progress, and she tells him what he wants to hear. Then it’s back to the present, with Doc Jenkins coming to visit her in jail. He’s very disappointed and calls her a callous fanatic—which is kind of judgy for a shrink. She says, “I know you are but what am I,” and calls him “David Pilcher.” She begs him to tell her “what this place is.” So she doesn’t believe Ethan, but she’d believe him?

Who could doubt this face?

Who could doubt this face?

Next, Pilcher busts Pam for lying to him. She begs him to punish her, not Reggie, and tells him if they start killing their own people, they’re lost. Do her words move him? Hard to say, but he does say, “There’ll be no more killing.” He gathers his troops, but instead of executing Reggie, they just put him back into deep freeze.

Meantime, Harold and the Red Shirt have stolen a dump truck and plan to drive it through the fence. They’re taking the dead guy with them because Red Shirt doesn’t want to bury him in “this prison.” Harold decides not to go because he doesn’t want to leave Kate behind in jail and maybe because corpses smell bad. His crony tells him if he changes his mind he’s not leaving till after dark. Why would he wait and give them more time to discover the missing truck, which Ethan already knows about? For that matter, given the danger to the fence, why hasn’t Ethan asked Pilcher to call out his volunteers to help stop the truck? How hard could it be to find? How many roads to the fence do they have? Couldn’t the volunteers just tell everyone they’re with the National Guard or something? It’s not like the townies are really going to ask a lot of questions.

Ethan finds Harold and decks him for almost blowing his little boy to bits. Harold insists it’s just him and no one else is involved. Ethan tells him he’s this close to cutting Kate’s throat in the middle of Main Street, and it sounds like he means it. Then, Harold tells Ethan it’s too late. All of a sudden, it’s gotten very dark, and we see Red Shirt and Corpse-Buddy merrily rolling along. We hear Pilcher addressing his followers, telling them they are at war and everything they’ve worked for could be in danger. Maybe instead of being gathered around to listen to him pontificate, they should be out guarding the fence. The truck smashes into the totally vulnerable fence, and somehow Red Shirt isn’t fried when it shorts out. Red Shirt announces to his buddy the corpse that they’ve made it. Rather than trying to get the truck all the way through the hole it carved out, Red Shirt decides to stop right there and get some air with Corpse-Buddy, because it’s not like someone might come looking for them. Once the two meat packets are out of the vehicle, the abbies come and start chowing down. And now that there’s a big ol’ hole in the no-longer-electrified fence, it’s time for the abbie apocalypse to commence, and the entire town is one big all-you-can-eat buffet.

Marion Stein

Marion writes television recaps and reviews for the Agony Booth, and books you can find over at Amazon.

TV Show: Wayward Pines

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