“‘80s pop princesses Debbie Gibson and Tiffany are down in the ‘Everglades’, trying to out-bitch each other by creating giant pythons and alligators. Eventually, the two middle-aged teen queens put their differences aside to save Miami from a reptile apocalypse, in this amazing sci-fi-horror-action comedy that manages to completely fail in four genres at once!”

“They don’t get much cheesier or TV movie-er than 1979’s Captain America, starring Reb ‘Big McLargeHuge’ Brown as the Sentinel of Liberty. There’s no Red Skull or HYDRA or Cap getting entombed in a block of ice in this movie, just a big doof with overinflated biceps riding his motorcycle and battling Wink Martindale’s evil twin.”

“This time around, Stan looks at the TV movie that reunited the stars of a classic ‘70s action series, The Incredible Hulk Returns. And since the notion of Bill Bixby turning into a bodybuilder covered in green body paint isn’t ridiculous enough, they added the Norse god of thunder! Yes, Marvel’s own Thor makes a special appearance here, along with his life partner Donald Blake, and since Kenneth Branagh’s Thor comes out this summer, what better time to look at Thor’s only other live-action appearance?”

Stan watches The Horror at 37,000 Feet, a bizarre 1973 airplane disaster/horror hybrid that’s horrifying for all the wrong reasons. Filmed for roughly $500 on a soundstage at CBS Television City, the movie boasts an all-star cast including Chuck Connors, Buddy Ebsen, Paul Winfield, Russell “The Professor” Johnson, France Nuyen, and Tammy Grimes. Also onboard is William Shatner, chewing up the scenery like never before, and meeting his untimely demise in a truly memorable fashion.

Stan examines the infamously titled Lifetime Original Movie Mother, May I Sleep with Danger? Tori Spelling stars as a college student who thinks she’s met the perfect man, but to the shock of no one who has ever seen a Lifetime Original Movie, he turns out to be a cold blooded killer. Also stars Ivan Sergei, Lochlyn Munro, Gabrielle Miller, and Lisa Banes as “Mother”.