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The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982)
Michael A. Novelli
on Wednesday, March 13, 2013
It's finally here! Mendo's long awaited Requested Review of The Sword and the Sorcerer! Oh, and free tip for anyone else who wants to request a review: Don't pick a movie that makes Mendo say to himself, "Well, I don't think many people have heard of this movie, so I should spend several months hyping it up so the person who donated it gets the most for their money," because that just puts a lot of pressure on Mendo to do a much better review than the normal crap he spews out, none of which is helped by the huge psychological build-up of angst that the prospect of simply watching the film brings on. Especially when the film is no prize to begin with. It makes him cry. Stay tuned for a special guest appearance by someone you just might recognize if you frequent any other video sites... which, of course, you don't, because you're a good boy and/or girl!
The NeverEnding Story III: Escape from Fantasia (1994)
"Devoid of more source material to butcher, the filmmakers apparently decided to ignore what had come before and knock-off Power Rangers."The Return of the King (1980)
“His approach is cut short as he sees the reason a swarm of Orcs hasn’t gotten around to curb-stomping him into oblivion: they’re all dead. Naturally, we get a monologue explaining this, and I think even the five year olds watching at this point are probably going, ‘Move it along, goddammit, I got shit to do today!’”It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
“So, basically, one guy was all that was stopping Bedford Falls from turning into a hellhole. I think that’s ample evidence George should’ve gotten out when he had the chance. I mean, come on. If the general populace is too weak-willed not to turn into East St. Louis, why would you want to save them? At what point does personal responsibility kick in? There was no reason whatsoever for George to throw away his life and happiness for these losers.”The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013)
“If the source novel didn’t start out as Twilight fanfic, I’ll drop dead of shock.”An Interview with Lloyd Kaufman, President of Troma Entertainment
“Yes sir, Lloyd’s come a long way from his days as a location executive, to the head of the longest running independent movie company in America. Troma’s movies cover almost every subject matter, with lots of sex and violence thrown in, all for budgets that wouldn’t buy lunch in most studios.”Pink Lady... and Jeff “The Lost Episode”
“We’re lucky the show didn’t get a second season, or else we might have had to see Charlotte Rae pistol-whip an infant, or Red Skelton sodomize a leprechaun with a chainsaw.”
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