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Baby Geniuses 3: Baby Squad Investigators (2013)
on Friday, February 22, 2013
Yes, Baby Geniuses, widely considered one of the worst movies of all time, has not one, but two sequels, each worse than the last. In the third installment, the Crown Jewels have been stolen from the Tower of London, and it's up to the baby geniuses to travel to Europe (specifically, GreenScreenLand) and use their secret baby language to recover them.
My first con
“I forced myself to go knowing that I might regret going, but I’d regret not going, too, and the latter was preferable to the former.”Return to Oz (1985)
“Can’t say I really blame Aunt Em for wanting to strap Dorothy up to the electroshock machine. WTF kind of stuff is she telling people? Can’t Dorothy just tell them about the cute stuff, like the Lollipop Guild or whatever? I think if she had focused more on the non-creepy aspects of Oz, Aunt Em would be praising her for her creativity and imagination, not sending her off to Dr. Shocker, erm, Worley.”The NeverEnding Story III: Escape from Fantasia (1994)
"Devoid of more source material to butcher, the filmmakers apparently decided to ignore what had come before and knock-off Power Rangers."Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)
“I’m really annoyed at how this movie is making me question the competence of every single human being in the universe.”Skidoo (1968): the lost recap (part 5)
“Thanks a lot, Skidoo. One day, I’m going to flash back to this scene, something in my brain will snap, and I’ll kill a busload of kids.”Omen IV: The Awakening (1991)
“This movie is a Part 4. And with very few exceptions, franchises that last all the way to a fourth installment end up scraping the bottom of the cinematic barrel. And when it comes to horror franchises in particular, there's a tendency to continue on even after hitting bottom, and using the shredded, shattered remnants of the cinematic barrel itself to make at least three more shitty sequels after that.”
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