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Lady in the Water (2006)
on Wednesday, December 5, 2012
The Slob begins a special series of reviews called The M. Night Before Christmas, where he looks at the films of the internet's favorite punching bag, M. Night Shyamalan! First up, Lady in the Water, starring Paul Giamatti as a crazy super who finds Bryce Dallas Howard in a pool, and discovers she's a mythical mermaid-thing who's come to protect the savior of humanity, cleverly played by Shyamalan himself!
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)
“Michael A. Novelli steps up to host the Movie Skewer and take over our coverage of the Twilight Saga: the continuing misadventures of a vacant, passive high school girl, the creepy vampire who controls her, and the werewolf/rapist-in-training who comes between them! In the third installment, Bella and Edward are engaged, which pisses off Jacob, while Victoria organizes an army of “newborn” vampires to kill Bella and get revenge on Edward. So yeah, pretty much the same plot as New Moon, only this time they pay Bryce Dallas Howard to stand around and do nothing.”The Last Airbender (2010)
“The worst M. Night Shyamalan movie yet. And damn, is that saying something.”Planet of the Apes (2001)
The Cinema Slob explores the film's subtle social commentary, its heart-wrenching plea for acceptance of cross-species love, and of course, its genius twist ending.After Earth (2013)
After Earth is easily the first film Shyamalan has made in more than a decade that genuinely works. And yet, the response has been overwhelmingly negative thus far.Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)
The Cinema Slob checks out what has luckily turned out not to be the final movie in the extraordinary Michael Bay four-part Transformers trilogy. Watch as the Slob learns about the moon landing, ponders the evil-ness of goatees, sees his beloved home town get blown to hell, and reenacts clips too awesome to actually include in the review!Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
“It’s like Michael Bay is deliberately trying to hit every Bad Movie Cliché he can think of.”
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