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Lady in the Water (2006)
on Wednesday, December 5, 2012
The Slob begins a special series of reviews called The M. Night Before Christmas, where he looks at the films of the internet's favorite punching bag, M. Night Shyamalan! First up, Lady in the Water, starring Paul Giamatti as a crazy super who finds Bryce Dallas Howard in a pool, and discovers she's a mythical mermaid-thing who's come to protect the savior of humanity, cleverly played by Shyamalan himself!
Hudson Hawk (1991)
“Writing this kind of dialogue and actually putting it on film should be an offense punishable by a good old-fashioned Korean caning.”Howard the Duck (1986)
“I generally don’t bitch about a film using live, on-the-set special effects, but when the ‘supposed to be likable’ lead character has the eyes of a killer, I balk.”Meet the Spartans (2008)
"This movie is so completely bland that it didn't get any reaction from me—not even anger. It was just flat out boring and stupid, and nothing else. I've watched it, I've recapped it, and now I intend to forget it forever. Because, really, there's nothing to remember."Surviving Christmas (2004)
“That’s right, gang: this holiday movie has blessed us with the vision of Ben Affleck taking a piss, and inside of the first fifteen minutes, too! Merry Christmas to all!”Jupiter Ascending (2015): a recap (part 5 of 12): Caine is the perfect hunting (and dancing) machine
In which we learn the true origins of the human race, as well as Caine Wise’s tragic backstory, which is uncannily similar to a certain legendary bouncer.Jupiter Ascending (2015): a recap (part 1 of 12)
“While it may not be based on an existing property, there’s nothing the slightest bit ‘original’ about this movie’s plot.”
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