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Lady in the Water (2006)
on Wednesday, December 5, 2012
The Slob begins a special series of reviews called The M. Night Before Christmas, where he looks at the films of the internet's favorite punching bag, M. Night Shyamalan! First up, Lady in the Water, starring Paul Giamatti as a crazy super who finds Bryce Dallas Howard in a pool, and discovers she's a mythical mermaid-thing who's come to protect the savior of humanity, cleverly played by Shyamalan himself!
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)
“Michael A. Novelli steps up to host the Movie Skewer and take over our coverage of the Twilight Saga: the continuing misadventures of a vacant, passive high school girl, the creepy vampire who controls her, and the werewolf/rapist-in-training who comes between them! In the third installment, Bella and Edward are engaged, which pisses off Jacob, while Victoria organizes an army of “newborn” vampires to kill Bella and get revenge on Edward. So yeah, pretty much the same plot as New Moon, only this time they pay Bryce Dallas Howard to stand around and do nothing.”Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)
The Cinema Slob checks out what has luckily turned out not to be the final movie in the extraordinary Michael Bay four-part Transformers trilogy. Watch as the Slob learns about the moon landing, ponders the evil-ness of goatees, sees his beloved home town get blown to hell, and reenacts clips too awesome to actually include in the review!Surviving Christmas (2004)
“That’s right, gang: this holiday movie has blessed us with the vision of Ben Affleck taking a piss, and inside of the first fifteen minutes, too! Merry Christmas to all!”The Signal (2007) / Muppets from Space (1999)
Phil Buni watches The Signal, a low budget horror film where all cell phones, TVs, and radios begin broadcasting a mysterious "signal" that turns people into murderous psychopaths. He also looks at the shameless big-budget ripoff: Muppets from Space? Look, just watch the review, maybe it'll make sense.Catwoman (2004)
In his ongoing look at superhero films, the Cinema Slob takes a look at DC's effort to make a Catwoman film. Find out just how many lives this kitty has, as the Slob sinks his claws into this purrrrfect action movie.The Last Airbender (2010)
Joey brings us the first installment in a special series called Crossing the Line, where he examines live action movies based on cartoons. First up is M. Night Shyamalan's take on the popular Nicktoon Avatar: The Last Airbender. Here's the twist: It sucks!
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