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Superman vs. Spider-Man XXX (2012)
on Saturday, December 1, 2012
Porn Critic reviews Axel Braun's latest, Superman vs. Spider-Man XXX. Yes, it's a parody of a classic 1976 comic... supposedly. And it's probably the only time you'll ever see these two superheroes on screen
together, ever. Seriously, this will never ever happen in a
mainstream movie. So it doesn't even matter that the movie is rubbish; it's
just pure fanboy essentialness... with boobs.. Yes, it
Will Cinematic Universes be the end of superhero movies?
“When 2017 rolls around and audiences find themselves being forced to see seven different movies (all within a four-month window) just to keep track of everything going on in multiple universes, we may see a real backlash.”Man of Steel (2013)
The first flying sequence is worth the price of admission all on its own. The scope and sense of wonder it evokes is overwhelming, as Superman rockets across the globe, through the clouds, and into space, grinning all the while. Because how can you not have fun when you’re Superman? I caught myself unconsciously whispering, “make me believe, make me believe” in a disturbingly erotic fashion that I’m sure was very uncomfortable for those sitting next to me.RIP superhero origin stories (1978 - 2015)
“There’s one thing Marvel fans, movie fans, and pretty much all of civilized society are in unanimous agreement upon: Please, not another Spider-Man origin story.”Max Fleischer's Superman
“And here we catch a brief glimpse of the seething anger Clark Kent must keep bottled deep inside. The resentment of being constantly humiliated by Lois Lane, and of being upstaged by her repeatedly, even as he must save her life. Can’t he have this one simple little story, Lois? Just this one?!”Avengers XXX: A Porn Parody (2012)
What better way to start off a new show than with Vivid's porn parody of the biggest film of the summer? Starring Dale DaBone as Iron Man, Brooklyn Lee as the Black Widow, ex-wrestler Chyna as She-Hulk, and many others, this is a movie that strangely enough includes way more Marvel characters than the actual Avengers movie.Batman & Mr. Freeze: SubZero (1998)
“This movie got a pretty good reception, but I think that’s just the result of looking good in comparison to Batman & Robin, in the same way that a mediocre baseball team looks good compared to the 1899 Cleveland Spiders.”
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