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The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 2 (2012)
on Saturday, November 17, 2012
Count Jackula and Horror Guru go on a killing spree due to the last entry of the Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn: Part 2, starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner.
The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)
Edward decides his kind is too dangerous to be around Bella, so he goes into contrived self-exile, leaving Bella to screech like a maniac for months before finally finding comfort in hot werewolf Jacob. Alas, Sofie's endless mocking of the movie earns her the wrath of Pia (played by Sofie Liv), a scantily-clad airhead who breaks into Sofie's house to share a love of all things Twilight!The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)
“Michael A. Novelli steps up to host the Movie Skewer and take over our coverage of the Twilight Saga: the continuing misadventures of a vacant, passive high school girl, the creepy vampire who controls her, and the werewolf/rapist-in-training who comes between them! In the third installment, Bella and Edward are engaged, which pisses off Jacob, while Victoria organizes an army of “newborn” vampires to kill Bella and get revenge on Edward. So yeah, pretty much the same plot as New Moon, only this time they pay Bryce Dallas Howard to stand around and do nothing.”Female Vampire (1975)
Count Jackula reviews Jesus Franco's classic, erotic film about a voluptuous vampiress who really knows how to suck, Female Vampire.
"Like watching your big sister making googly eyes with her boyfriend on the couch while listening to cheesy music, and you can't escape because they've chained you to a chair."The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)
“My prediction at the end of my Twilight recap was correct: This movie did indeed suck harder than its predecessor. In fact, it sucked so hard that it made me wonder why I ever liked the first one to begin with.”Road House (1989)
"This might be the first film I've ever seen that makes me constantly look around to make sure I'm not on hidden camera."
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