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The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1 (2011)
Dr. Winston O'Boogie
on Friday, November 16, 2012
After three years of assisting on Twilight reviews, the Doctor finally takes the series head-on with The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1. Stephenie Meyer's novel gets split into two movies to extract an additional billion dollars from Twi-hards who line up for these things no matter how tedious or repulsive they get. And this one is certainly repulsive, as Bella gets pregnant with a half-vampire baby who treats her womb like a bouncy castle, Edward performs a Cesarean with his teeth, and Jacob embarks on an 18 year quest to groom his future wife.
The Hottie & the Nottie (2008)
"Occasionally while watching a bad film, it's possible to pinpoint the precise moment when the screenwriter ran out of ideas. The Hottie & the Nottie makes this game ridiculously easy. Not that this writer's 'ideas' were all that amusing in the first place, unless you consider 'women with excess body hair' the height of wit."Vampires Suck (2010)
This time out, Seltzerberg spoofs The Twilight Saga, and guess what? It's not nearly as soul-crushingly awful as what you're imagining! Watch as Winston O'Boogie risks all his internet reviewer cred by admitting to actually laughing at this thing.The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)
“My prediction at the end of my Twilight recap was correct: This movie did indeed suck harder than its predecessor. In fact, it sucked so hard that it made me wonder why I ever liked the first one to begin with.”Leonard Part 6 (1987)
“So by now, we're watching a drunk Bill Cosby performing surgery on himself with a hunting knife. Hey, having fun yet, Cosby Show fans?”Batman & Robin (1997)
"I would say that the Batman movie franchise has been reduced to the level of the campy 60's Adam West TV series, but that would be an insult to Adam West."Heaven’s Gate (1980)
“Trust me, this is not a movie where the time simply flies by; you feel every last one of those 219 minutes.”
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