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The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1 (2011)
Dr. Winston O'Boogie
on Friday, November 16, 2012
After three years of assisting on Twilight reviews, the Doctor finally takes the series head-on with The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1. Stephenie Meyer's novel gets split into two movies to extract an additional billion dollars from Twi-hards who line up for these things no matter how tedious or repulsive they get. And this one is certainly repulsive, as Bella gets pregnant with a half-vampire baby who treats her womb like a bouncy castle, Edward performs a Cesarean with his teeth, and Jacob embarks on an 18 year quest to groom his future wife.
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Edward decides his kind is too dangerous to be around Bella, so he goes into contrived self-exile, leaving Bella to screech like a maniac for months before finally finding comfort in hot werewolf Jacob. Alas, Sofie's endless mocking of the movie earns her the wrath of Pia (played by Sofie Liv), a scantily-clad airhead who breaks into Sofie's house to share a love of all things Twilight!Skidoo (1968), the lost recap (part 7): All things are like the void and cloudless sky
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UPDATED on Nov. 22, 2015! “Casual fans today might be under the impression the episode resulted in boycotts, death threats, and people marching in the streets, but the contemporary record tells a different story.”Minority Report “The Present”
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