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Italian Stallion (1970)
on Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Warning: This review is not safe for work, unless you work at a place that's okay with you watching shots of Stallone's balls. And ass. So much Stallone ass...
It's Italian Stallion, the infamous softcore porno starring Sylvester Stallone that was re-released when he hit it big with Rocky. Originally titled The Party at Kitty and Stud's, the movie is about a New York City couple (Kitty and Stud) who have sex, engage in light S&M, then invite some of their friends over for an orgy. The end. Features a special guest appearance by our own Cheap-Arse Film Critic, and also director Dick Bush, who unveils a new app that helps you do it like a pornstar!
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“For some reason, this film was marketed as a more ‘serious’ movie, even though I’m pretty certain anybody who’s a fan of either Sylvester Stallone or Sharon Stone doesn’t go to the movies for serious dramatics. Stallone’s fans go to see him kill a lot of things and be macho, and Stone’s fans go in the vain hope she’ll do another leg spreading scene like in Basic Instinct. To be fair, she does get naked in this film. On the downside, so does Sly.”Rocky, the Broadway musical
“During Rocky’s training sequence, big rubber sides of beef descend from the rafters, which may be the first time I’ve witnessed a scene transition get its own round of applause.”The Expendables (2010)
“There’s enough beef in this thing to run six Burger Kings!”Heavy Metal (1981)
”Eight stories that are not so much bad as they are levels of Hell.”Avengers XXX: A Porn Parody (2012)
What better way to start off a new show than with Vivid's porn parody of the biggest film of the summer? Starring Dale DaBone as Iron Man, Brooklyn Lee as the Black Widow, ex-wrestler Chyna as She-Hulk, and many others, this is a movie that strangely enough includes way more Marvel characters than the actual Avengers movie.
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