Video Show: The Oldschoo' Review
Johnny eats disgusting food, he reviews bad movies, and he’s usually drunk. Bacon lovers everywhere agree that The Old Schoo’ Review is the worst thing to happen to the internet since flash-based websites.
Johnny reviews the cult classic Z-grade slasher Sleepaway Camp! There’s a serial killer picking off campers one by one, and nothing (besides copious amounts of alcohol) will prepare you for the ending. On the plus side, there’s lots of hot pants and Daisy Dukes on display. On the minus side, they’re mostly worn by the guys.
When you were a kid, did you ever dream of using a handheld gaming console to sew some new clothes, find sunken shipwrecks, or check your blood glucose levels? Well, apparently you missed out on your dreams. Johnny counts down the worst-ever accessories made for the Nintendo Game Boy!
It’s that time of year, so Johnny reviews a holiday classic: The Human Centipede (First Sequence), the world’s most infamous torture scat porn. It’s ass-blastingly shit-tacular!
Join Johnny Oldschool as he watches the internet videos that make you say “WTF?” including an edible baby, an egg you can masturbate with, bizarre anti-drug PSAs, and a Claymation scene created by guys who clearly didn’t watch the aforementioned PSAs.
Exploitation? Robots? Kung-fu? Guns? Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Jena Malone, Vanessa Hudgens, and Jamie Chung in sexy outfits? Normally, those would all be ingredients for the perfect movie, but when Zack Snyder is the chef, the only thing being served is a shit sandwich.
Mario is probably the most iconic video game mascot of all time. From his bright red hat, to his bushy brown mustache, you’d be hard pressed to find a more recognizable character. But how well do you really know him? It’s time to take a look at the top 9 things you never knew about the history of everyone’s favorite plumber and the game that made him a superstar, Nintendo’s Super Mario Bros.!
Maybe you think you know all there is to know about the world of Street Fighter. Well, Johnny Oldschool is about to take you back to the fighting game that started it all, and teach you 9 things you never knew about Street Fighter II.
Gigli is an absolute train wreck of a movie about a gangster and a pseudo-lesbian hired to kidnap a federal prosecutor’s retarded son. And sure enough, the guy pretending to be mentally handicapped is far more believable than Ben Affleck pretending to be a gangster.
Its shameless plot holes and horrific dialogue might place it firmly in the “so bad it’s good” category, but the one-eyed penis monsters led by a rubber Satan puppet push it all the way over into awesome.
First up, Johnny looks into his own future and sees Next, the story of a low-rent Las Vegas magician who can inexplicably see two minutes into the future. Starring Nicolas Cage, Julianne Moore, and Jessica Biel, this is quite possibly the most poorly written movie Johnny’s ever seen.