Video Show: The Oldschoo' Review


Johnny eats disgusting food, he reviews bad movies, and he’s usually drunk. Bacon lovers everywhere agree that The Old Schoo’ Review is the worst thing to happen to the internet since flash-based websites.


VIDEO: Sleepaway Camp (1983)

Johnny reviews the cult classic Z-grade slasher Sleepaway Camp! There’s a serial killer picking off campers one by one, and nothing (besides copious amounts of alcohol) will prepare you for the ending. On the plus side, there’s lots of hot pants and Daisy Dukes on display. On the minus side, they’re mostly worn by the guys.


VIDEO: Sucker Punch (2011)

Exploitation? Robots? Kung-fu? Guns? Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Jena Malone, Vanessa Hudgens, and Jamie Chung in sexy outfits? Normally, those would all be ingredients for the perfect movie, but when Zack Snyder is the chef, the only thing being served is a shit sandwich.


VIDEO: Super Mario Bros.: Top 9 Things You Never Knew

Mario is probably the most iconic video game mascot of all time. From his bright red hat, to his bushy brown mustache, you’d be hard pressed to find a more recognizable character. But how well do you really know him? It’s time to take a look at the top 9 things you never knew about the history of everyone’s favorite plumber and the game that made him a superstar, Nintendo’s Super Mario Bros.!


VIDEO: Gigli (2003)

Gigli is an absolute train wreck of a movie about a gangster and a pseudo-lesbian hired to kidnap a federal prosecutor’s retarded son. And sure enough, the guy pretending to be mentally handicapped is far more believable than Ben Affleck pretending to be a gangster.


VIDEO: Next (2007)

First up, Johnny looks into his own future and sees Next, the story of a low-rent Las Vegas magician who can inexplicably see two minutes into the future. Starring Nicolas Cage, Julianne Moore, and Jessica Biel, this is quite possibly the most poorly written movie Johnny’s ever seen.