Video Show: The Movie Skewer
From the makers of the Agony Booth™ comes The Movie Skewer, where terrible movies are roasted over an open flame for your enjoyment. Watch the very first online review/recap series that’s too much for one host to handle!
It’s here! The long-awaited sequel that nobody wanted. The Baby Squad continues their mission as Big Baby escapes from prison to commit exactly the same crimes as before. Will they finally stop him for good? And why is Jon Voight still in these movies?
It’s the direct to video prequel to 1995’s Casper, starring Steve Guttenberg, Rodney Dangerfield, Lori Loughlin, and James Earl Jones as the voice of the bad guy, in one of the weirdest ensembles ever.
Christopher Reeve quit the Superman franchise (temporarily, alas) leaving the Salkinds with only one option: find a Superman side character to fuck up just as bad.
On the eve of the Star Trek franchise heading into darkness, Dr. O’Boogie looks back at the TNG cast’s final outing Star Trek Nemesis, which somehow became the most reviled entry in the series despite there being a few other Star Trek movies that are at least as dumb. But it’s a shameless ripoff of Wrath of Khan starring an up and coming British actor, and who would possibly want to see that?
Despite her lackluster performances in the Twilight movies, Full of Questions thinks that Kristen Stewart is a good actress. To help explain why, she reviews Speak, a movie she saw way before she knew about Twilight, where Stewart plays a high school student who becomes mute after after a traumatic incident.
We mark the release of Upstream Color by looking at writer-director Shane Carruth’s debut Primer, the dense and confusing story of two scientists who accidentally create a time machine in their garage. Dr. O’Boogie takes a deeper look at the twisted tale of multiple timelines that sent scores of people to the internet desperately searching for an explanation of the plot.
Inspired by the recent Manti Te’o story, Dr. O’Boogie reviews the documentary Catfish, about a guy named Nev who falls for a girl over Facebook who’s not quite what she seems. The Doctor sounds off on whether this “documentary” is real or fake, and finally reveals to the world what he really and truly looks like!
Yes, Baby Geniuses, widely considered one of the worst movies of all time, has not one, but two sequels, each worse than the last. In the third installment, the Crown Jewels have been stolen from the Tower of London, and it’s up to the baby geniuses to travel to Europe (specifically, GreenScreenLand) and use their secret baby language to recover them.
Yes, there’s a much-too-accurate porn parody of Star Trek: The Next Generation, where Riker bones Troi, Data bones Tasha Yar, Dr. Crusher does a special favor for Picard (played by Patrick Stewart’s long-lost clone), and Dr. Winston O’Boogie is the only reviewer with enough useless knowledge of TNG to bring it to you!
Dr. O’Boogie intrudes on Sofie’s territory with his own review of the Wonder Woman pilot! No, not the one with Lynda Carter, or the one with Adrianne Palicki—this was the very first attempt to bring the Amazon Princess to life, starring future That’s Incredible host Cathy Lee Crosby as a blonde Wonder Woman with a lame costume and no powers, unless you count her amazing ability to always be on the phone.
Stephenie Meyer’s novel gets split into two movies to extract an additional billion dollars from Twi-hards who line up for these things no matter how tedious or repulsive they get. And this one is certainly repulsive, as Bella gets pregnant with a half-vampire baby who treats her womb like a bouncy castle, Edward performs a Cesarean with his teeth, and Jacob embarks on an 18 year quest to groom his future wife.
Daniel Craig and the Bond filmmakers silenced the critics with Casino Royale, then got them all shooting off their mouths again with this entry, thanks to an unfinished screenplay, a boring villain, and some of the most confusing editing ever seen in the franchise. Luckily, we’re here to make sense of it all for you.
NOTE: This review is in Spanish with English subtitles. In this edition of the Movie Skewer, the Film Renegado enlists the help of two Latino friends to take on Dragonball Evolution, the long-anticipated big screen adaption of a popular anime/manga, directed by James Wong
Dr. O’Boogie dares to follow up his legendary recap of High School Musical, the Disney Channel Original Movie where Zac What’s-his-face and Vanessa Something-or-other joined forces to save their school from being torn down, or something. Look, it’s been four years since that recap. Cut him some slack, okay?
This time out, Seltzerberg spoofs The Twilight Saga, and guess what? It’s not nearly as soul-crushingly awful as what you’re imagining! Watch as Winston O’Boogie risks all his internet reviewer cred by admitting to actually laughing at this thing.
Just in time for the remake of Total Recall, we go back to the original. No, not the 1990 movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sharon Stone—we’re going really old school, with a review of the short story “We Can Remember It for You Wholesale” by Philip K. Dick.
Joey teams up with Sofie for one of the biggest superhero movie disappointments in recent memory. Watch the review and relive all the singing, dancing, omelet-making, Twist-doing, amnesia-getting, and emo strutting!
Ryan reviews Crash, one of the worst movies to ever win the Best Picture Oscar. Brought to you by former Facts of Life writer Paul Haggis, Crash is the movie that dares to say racism is bad, while teaching us all to be better people through laughter, tears, and Sandra Bullock.
Ryan hosts another episode of the Movie Skewer to look at The Golden Compass, based on a novel near and dear to him. New Line scrubbed away the book’s anti-Christian themes when they adapted it into a movie, along with all traces of anything dark or disturbing. Watch as Ryan examines the end result: a bland movie-by-committee where nothing is at stake.
“Michael A. Novelli steps up to host the Movie Skewer and take over our coverage of the Twilight Saga: the continuing misadventures of a vacant, passive high school girl, the creepy vampire who controls her, and the werewolf/rapist-in-training who comes between them! In the third installment, Bella and Edward are engaged, which pisses off Jacob, while Victoria organizes an army of “newborn” vampires to kill Bella and get revenge on Edward. So yeah, pretty much the same plot as New Moon, only this time they pay Bryce Dallas Howard to stand around and do nothing.”