Video Show: The Cheap-Arse Film Review
It’s the Cheap-Arse Film Review, where a young(ish) man finds out if it’s possible to live the life of a cinephile super-nerd on the strictest budget possible. Inspired by growing up in the wilds of Essex, England (that’s only partially a joke, by the way) and the current harsh economic times, Liam only reviews DVD that can be purchased for £1.00p or less!
Once you’ve sunk low enough to send your horror franchise into space, the only place left to go is the hood, apparently, as Warwick Davis faces off against rappers (namely, Ice-T and a guy who was on Star Trek for four seasons and only had ten lines) in Leprechaun: In the Hood, the fifth movie in the Leprechaun saga.
Cheapus reviews the one and only feature film starring S Club (née S Club 7), in which the wildly successful UK pop group finds themselves being cloned by a mad scientist for reasons that certainly must have made sense to the screenwriters.
Cheapus gets a set of DVDs for Christmas, but it turns out they contain four disembodied souls trapped between worlds by the sinister Chris Mass, and they can only be freed by reviewing the Christmas-themed movies contained within: Scrooged, Gremlins, Fred Claus, and Mixed Nuts!
Cheapus attempts exposure therapy to overcome his fear of spiders by watching Eight Legged Freaks, where spiders in a small town get exposed to toxic waste, grow to enormous size, and terrorize the locals, including David Arquette, Kari Wuhrer, and a 15 year old Scarlett Johansson.
Accused by some of being little more than the bastard offspring of J.J. Abrams, Godzilla, and the Blair Witch, is this a true classic, or just a sad case of mass hysteria?
Cheapus works out repressed emotional trauma from his youth by reviewing The Master of Disguise, a kids’ film starring Dana Carvey as an Italian waiter who battles a farting Brent Spiner using his magical powers of disguise that he inherited from dad James Brolin. And yes, the Turtle Guy is in this.
Cheapus dives headfirst into the cult sci-fi sex spoof Flesh Gordon, and its much lesser sequel. Featuring, amongst other things, laser-shooting nipples, adult babies (oh God…), some awesome stop-motion effects, some terrible acting, a giant gargoyle with the voice of a pickup artist, and a cameo by the Film Brain.
Pass ’round the birthday cake, because this installment of the Cheap-Arse Film Review finds Cheapus watching The Descent, a film that may be as much about one woman’s decline into grief-induced madness as it is about Cannibalistic Albino Cavemen. And that’s a good thing.
In what could be considered a counterpoint to Mr. Mendo’s own review, Cheapus takes a look at Donnie Darko, which he happily admits has its fair share of problems (EXPLAIN YOURSELF EVERY ONCE AND A WHILE, WHY DON’T YOU), but he believes the film still has much about it to recommend.
In this rather half-hearted adventure, Lara must stop a Whatever Artifact from falling into the hands of the dumbest version of the Illuminati ever. A pre-007 Daniel Craig shows up to be her love interest, while also doing a terrible American accent.
Cheapus takes you character by character through Magnolia, writer-director Paul Thomas Anderson’s lengthy opus about 24 hours in the lives of interconnected people living in the San Fernando Valley, starring Philip Seymour Hoffman, William H. Macy, Julianne Moore, John C. Reilly, Jason Robards, and Tom Cruise in an Oscar-nominated role.
Cheapus steps into the ring for the Sylvester Stallone-directed final entry in the Rocky series, where the now 60 year old boxer makes a surprising comeback (as does the actor playing him). Rocky fans get everything they expect: Burt Young, a training montage set to “Gonna Fly Now”, and both Rocky and Sly overcoming the odds.
It was a huge gamble making a big budget film based on a failed TV show. Did it pay off? Well… you probably already know the answer to that, but Cheapus will tell you anyway!
Full of rampant stereotyping of Brits and Americans, it’s a one-joke comedy that quickly degenerates into shameless Burger King tie-ins and covers of overplayed Little Richard songs.
Liam gets all nostalgic for 1999, pre-internet porn, soundtracks
featuring Third Eye Blind and/or Blink-182, and American Pie, the blockbuster teen sex comedy where four friends (Jason Biggs, Chris Klein, some other guys) make a pact to get laid before prom, and set their sights on the likes of Tara Reid, Alyson Hannigan, Shannon Elizabeth, and one unsuspecting pastry.
The Cheap-Arse Film Critic celebrates one year of posting videos by tackling a true British film, Hot Fuzz, Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg’s loving tribute to over-the-top buddy cop action films.