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TV Episode Reviews & Recaps
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Blood Splattered Cinema
Hosted by: Horror Guru
The Horror Guru reviews the bloodiest, wildest, and weirdest horror that cinema has to offer!
Cartoon Palooza
Hosted by: Joey Tedesco
A satirical review show where a guy from Jersey watches and criticizes cartoons, including everything from comic books to animated movies. Whatever it is, Joey will either tell you to run out and see it... or fughetabouit!
The Count Jackula Show
Hosted by: Count Jackula
There are vampires, and there are men from outer space, but there is only one vampire from outer space! Join Count Jackula from the Planet Drakula as he explains the ins and outs of horror, from the mythic to the modern. Blood, off-color humor, and an obsession with Elvira are in store for you!
The Examined Life (of Gaming)
Hosted by: Roland Thompson
Just when video games were getting good, the late '90s and early '00s came along. The Examined Life (of Gaming) dares to delve into the good, the bad, and the value-priced games of this dark period, and sometimes we find something worth playing!
The Film Renegado
Hosted by: Film Renegado
Coming to you from south of the border, it's the Film Renegado! A civil engineer with a cinephile complex, the Film Renegado uses movies made in Mexico or by Mexican directors to share bits from his country's culture, past and present. You will both learn and be entertained! How cool is that?
Friday Night Fright Flicks
Hosted by: Count Jackula & Horror Guru
Welcome, fright knights, to Friday Night Fright Flicks! Join your hosts Count Jackula and the Horror Guru as they stumble their way through current horror releases, letting you know which ones are worth the price of admission.
Good Bad Flicks
Hosted by: Cecil Trachenburg
Good Bad Flicks is a show not only dedicated to rare movies, but also forgotten classics and misunderstood box office bombs. Your host Cecil takes you through each movie, discussing the promotional materials, and taking a look at what went on behind the scenes. With a healthy dose of Irish sarcasm, he throws a few jabs at even his most cherished favorites.
The Graphic Novel Picture Show
Hosted by: Sybil Pandemic
Your host Solkir presents The Graphic Novel Picture Show, a retrospective of the history of comic book movies!
The Movie Skewer
Hosted by: Team Agony Booth
From the makers of the Agony Booth™ comes The Movie Skewer, where terrible movies are roasted over an open flame for your enjoyment. Watch the very first online review/recap series that’s too much for one host to handle!
Mr. Mendo's Hack Attack
Hosted by: Michael A. Novelli
Need a healthy dose of cynicism from a guy whose face you can barely see? Then Mr. Mendo’s your man! Whether a movie suffers from Hype Backlash, Intellectual Dishonesty, or is just Complete Shit, Mr. Mendo is there. Mr. Mendo wasn‘t raised in this country, so he takes nothing for granted: if something ain‘t right, he’ll nose it out. So join him as he takes on Oscar winners and legendary flops alike in front of a blanket suspended between his couch and recliner!
Stuff You Like
Hosted by: Sursum Ursa
Stuff You Like is an original show where redhead Sursum Ursa waxes enthusiastic about movies, TV shows, and anything else that comes to mind! Expect singing, snarky subtitles, random pictures she finds on the internet, and lots of fangirling!
Terror Obscura
Hosted by: Fear Fan
Terror Obscura is a show dedicated to exploring the best and worst horror films ever made. While some shows are content to just mock bad films, this one isn't afraid to take even the most sacred of cows to the slaughterhouse. If you like horror, humor, or if you're just looking to find some titles you might want to rent, Terror Obscura is the show for you!
Tom's Retrophilia
Hosted by: Thomas Stockel
Is he a connoisseur of vintage media, or just a bitter old man trapped in the past?  Either way, tune in and watch Tom take a look at the movies and television shows from a time when he was actually in the target audience!
The Unusual Suspect
Hosted by: Unusual Suspect
The Unusual Suspect reviews popular movies, and tears 'em apart! They may be good, but no movie is perfect, and there's always things you may have overlooked and hadn't thought about. So join the Suspect as he exploits and ridicules the films you know and love. Just don't kill him for it!
What We Had to Watch
Hosted by: Il Neige
Il Neige is a smart-ass with a love-hate relationship with movies from the new millennium. Sure, reviews can be fun or cathartic, but there's also the risk of the occasional Twi-hard invasion or fireball to the face! ...That's how these things usually go, right? So join Il Neige as he braves the cinematic dangers that lie just beyond the fourth wall to critique the best and worst of 21st century filmmaking!
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the agony booth
The Greatest American Hero “Here's Looking at You, Kid” TV Recap Page 2 of 6
Posted by Mark "Scooter" Wilson Posted on: October 17, 2010
Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6

Ralph is now rushing out of the school, only to be intercepted, much to his annoyance, by his teeth-gritting FBI partner Bill Maxwell. Ralph fusses, whining that he has to meet Pam’s folks at the airport, but Bill tells him about the high-tech super Supervoltimeter being stolen. Apparently, it can “hit a beer can from five miles out”, which, Bill scoffs, is certainly not as important as Mr. and Mrs. Davidson visiting from “East Dogbreath, Nebraska”. Hey, my Great Aunt Hazel is from West Dogbreath, Nebraska! So you watch your mouth.

Ralph stridently (and unwisely) corrects Bill, explaining that they’re from Minnesota, where Mr. Davidson runs a hardware store, and is in fact “the mayor of Deer Lick Falls.” Make up your own dirty joke... now.

Actually, it turns out this is an in-joke: this episode’s writer, Cannell’s longtime associate Juanita Bartlett, was also a writer on The Rockford Files, and this is a reference to a season 5 episode called “The Mayor’s Committee from Deer Lick Falls”, in which Jim is supposed to prevent a small-town IRS audit. So there you go, the joke’s on us.

Back on topic, Ralph reasonably wonders why the army isn’t out looking for the Supervoltimeter, and Bill explains that they are, along with every other branch of the federal government. Thing is, Bill is certain that they’re all “looking in the wrong place”, but no one except Ralph will even listen to him. Right. So, scores of highly trained government officials and military brass are dead wrong, and one loose cannon FBI agent is the only who’s figured out the truth? Actually... I guess that isn’t so hard to believe.

Caption contributed by Mark
“I got the goods on Hoffa, too, kid, but no one will believe that he’s really Claude Akins!”

Ralph calls Pam from Bill’s car phone to tell her he can’t make it to the airport, and that he’ll explain later. They then establish that Bill’s car phone has a crappy connection (gosh, Mr. Peabody! We’re back in the days before cell phones!), but do nothing with this other than a few “What? I can’t hear you”s and a snide comment from Ralph after he’s hung up.

I’d dwell on this more, but my “interim” has caused me to forget what a horribly winsome actress Connie Sellecca can be, so I’m eager to move on so I can stop cringing, if you don’t mind.

The article continues after this advertisement...

In the car, as they head out into the desert, Bill explains his I’m Right They’re Wrong theory. This actually involves the fairly reasonable hunch that the pilot was more likely to bring the jet down on land than to ditch in the water and run the risk of losing or damaging the super high-tech gun sight. Which makes sense. What he doesn’t explain is why this doesn’t make sense to anyone else, and more importantly, why the air traffic controller’s scope would have shown the jet headed out over the ocean, causing everyone to discard Bill’s theory and declare him a drooling idiot. Is it a plot hole yet? Stay tuned!

Bill also hands Ralph a walkie-talkie the size of a cigarette lighter. Given that the super suit has no pockets, Ralph asks where he’s supposed to put it. Bill caustically replies, “Be creative!” They then fall silent long enough to allow us to imagine Ralph shoving the walkie-talkie up his sphincter. I’m fairly sure that’s worth one and a half to two beats in the Hollywood Comedy Manual.

Caption contributed by Mark
“Gosh, Bill, I don’t think this will fit. There’s a lot of stuff up there already.”

Cut to the airport, where a grainy stock footage Pan Am 747 (Pan Am! Wow! This episode is a freakin’ time capsule!) is landing. Then it’s over to real footage of Pam’s cutesy little VW bug convertible rolling up to a cement wall somewhere. She bustles past a bunch of extras carrying plaid suitcases (golly! My parents had a set of those!) to embrace her Mom and Dad.

Dad is played by Bob Hastings, who’s the voice of Commissioner Gordon in the animated Batman and The New Batman Adventures, which—man, there’s a lot of Batman series. Is that the same one that we’ve been posting recaps of? Yes? Good. I like Booth synergy.

Hastings has been in everything, going back to being one of the regular supporting players on McHale’s Navy, and even further back to Captain Video and His Video Rangers, which starred brother Don. So remember, if you want to get started in the business, make sure to have a brother who plays Captain Video.

And Mom—gosh. Mom is played by June freaking Lockhart. Whee! Oh, and welcome back, June. (Consumer note: The Petticoat Junction link is, like the cake, a lie, in that it points to season 1, but June doesn’t appear on that show until season 6, which isn’t out on an authorized DVD at the moment. And you thought everything was on DVD. Sorry, chump. The twilight years of Hooterville didn’t make the cut.)

The ensuing dialogue serves mainly to establish that Dad is a persnickety everything-just-so type, as he goes on and on about punctuality and preventive auto maintenance. I can see he’ll be a joy to spend the next forty minutes with.

But I’m getting distracted by the paperback that Mom is conspicuously carrying, something with a yellow cover called Southeast Moon. It’s a fake, which you can tell just from the title. Seriously, Southeast Moon? What’s it about, showing your butt to the Vietnamese? Well, there was no such thing as a Grisham novel yet, so truth be told, this was actually a daring, futuristic projection of what the “airplane paperback” might look like someday.

Caption contributed by Mark
A still from early meetings for a Lassie reunion special, in which June Lockhart and guest star Bob Hastings attempt to convince Connie Sellecca to come back and reprise the title role.

Pam explains that Ralph couldn’t make it, which cues Mom to embark on a bizarre, tangential lionization of her daughter’s boyfriend’s name, and how the name “Ralph Hinkley” suggests he’s a really dependable guy who will therefore, presumably, be good for Pam. The hell?

This is just weird. Never in a million years have I heard, even on a sitcom, dialogue this fermented and surreal about a boyfriend’s name. “What, honey? You’re dating a boy named—what was it? ‘Sid Vicious’, you say? Well gosh, he sounds absolutely charming! Sid Vicious! So when’s the wedding?”

But the real topper is this one-time-only left-turn excursus about the name “Ralph Hinkley” just happened to occur in an episode that aired during the one fraction of an instant in human history where anyone would give a flying fuck about the last name of some curly-haired dip wearing tights on an ABC superhero dramedy.

This episode—the one and only time that the script actually expounds at length on the name Ralph Hinkley—by sheer dumb luck aired on April 1, 1981, just two days after a nut named John Hinckley Jr. shot President Reagan and three others outside the Washington Hilton.

At some point in those two days, either Steve Cannell or someone at ABC realized, to their horror, that they were about to air a TV episode in which the hero shared the same name, spelling aside, as a dickhead that people were wanting to set fire to and dump in a deep hole full of hungry meerkats. That’s the kind of moment that calls for a “Fuck me!” of stellar proportions. And then later, you wonder why you were so wound up in the first place. You know, kind of like Twilight.

So they called in Denise Halma to redub Carrie’s line, or more likely to my mind, Steve Cannell put on his best teenage thugette voice and did it himself. (Just kidding. Or am I?) “Mr. H” was a simple enough substitute, and had in fact already been used on the show (the sweathogs occasionally call Ralph “Mr. H” from very early in the pilot onward—I checked). Legend has it this was an echo of Fonzie’s use of “Mr. C” to refer to Tom Bosley’s character on Happy Days, so the transfer of this style of address to the tough-guy sweathogs, and the leather jacket-clad hoodlum Tony in particular was straight out of the American Sitcom Playbook.

But what to do about June Lockhart’s big speech about this glorious name, Ralph Hinkley? Even if they could get Lockhart back for ADR, what could they have her say instead? The only real choice was either to cut the speech, leaving a big jarring hole right in the middle of Pam’s meeting with her parents, or do what they did, which was... dub the loud roar of an airplane engine over June Lockhart every time she says the name Hinkley.

The result of this ham-handed doctoring is just as brilliant as it sounds. Here’s the whole exchange:

Mrs. Davidson: Ralph! Oh, it’s such a nice name. You know, I’ve always thought that you can tell a great deal about a person by his name! [VROOOOARRRRR!!]—it’s just the perfect name for an educator, don’t you think so, Daddy?
Mr. Davidson: Hmm? Yeah, it’s alright.
Mrs. Davidson: Ralph [VROOOOARRRRR!!]—it says a great deal. Solid! Capable! Stable! Feet on the ground! [Cut to Ralph in the suit, flying over the desert, feet kicking in the air, hahahaha, juxtaposition is funny!]

You know, if someone’s last name is really Vrooooarrrrr, I’m not sure you can expect “feet on the ground” to be among his core defining traits.

Caption contributed by Mark
“I have a much better feeling about him than your last boyfriend, Joe [sound of cats fucking].”

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