“Hardly a full-tilt camp classic, but somewhat leaning in that direction thanks to the presence of Shatner and West and Cotten and Cassevetes all tramping around the desert in man-skirts and chest plates.”

Mendo takes a look at the existentially crushing world of '80s sitcom favorite ALF, and his one and only holiday episode, the two-part "ALF's Special Christmas". Can this show about the last survivor of a dead planet being stuck with a boring family that refuses to call him by his real name possibly get any more depressing? What do you think?

"You might notice that the plot, about a convicted killer on death row with the power to heal people, is strikingly similar to the premise of Stephen King's serial novel The Green Mile. I haven't read the books, but the episode is very different from the movie based on them. For one thing, it’s 25 minutes long. For another, it stars Patrick Swayze."

"I expect the thinking went something like this: 'Look how much everyone drools over Tom Welling. And we make him wear a shirt!'"

“I effing loved this one when I was a kid, mostly because it had a certain Mr. Bobcat Goldthwait as the villain. As a wee girl, I was kind of obsessed with the Police Academy movies, so much so that I used to host little mini-marathons. Unsurprisingly, I was usually the only one in attendance, save for my favorite stuffed animals. Later, Cheer Bear and the rest of the Care Bears would begin to make excuses not to attend my Policy Academy parties, so, you know...”

“Bear with me here; the protagonist doesn’t start out hot, nor does he stay that way throughout the entire episode. But it’s those little bits of magical, bad-assed hotness that really make this episode shine. It’s like when Anakin Skywalker finally turned bad—he was extra hot because you had to wait a little while for it to happen.”

“April takes the whole ‘ghost knife magically changing before her eyes’ thing in stride and is only mildly amazed. I guess she would have been more impressed by better CGI, but dammit, we’re on a budget here, okay, April? Yeesh.”

“The lady tells Kat she has ‘just what you need’, and offers her a pair of running shoes that will help her ‘fly like you’ve never flown before!’ What, do the shoes have a secret compartment where she can hide her meth or something?”

“Really, it’s just a flimsy excuse to build an episode around lengthy performances of the greatest hits of Rick James, Isaac Hayes, James Taylor, and Huey Lewis and the News. Take out all the songs, and ‘Heart of Rock and Roll’ is a 12 minute episode, which is exactly what Mendo has made for you!”

“You know, if all of Hannibal’s plans are this ridiculously convoluted, no wonder he loves it when they come together!”

“I guess most of the show’s budget went into the wheel, Pat Sajak’s hairstylist, and energy pills for Vanna so she wouldn’t collapse from going back and forth across the stage, turning letters and clapping all damn day.”

“Even that redneck farmer guy Batman fought planned things out better than this.”

“It’s possible none of these guys are entirely sane.”

Sofie goes back and digs through her pile of Requested Reviews for a rather special request: The original, unaired pilot to what went on to become a very successful show, Nickelodeon's Avatar: The Last Airbender!

“This final episode of The Worst of Avatar is ‘The Painted Lady’, the season’s third episode. Luckily, much like ‘Avatar Day’, the season got this embarrassment out of the way early, with the episodes that followed all being decent to spectacular. And right now, it’s the last episode in my way before I take on M. Night Shyamalan’s hideous mangling of the series, so here goes.”

“In a half hour episode, minus the commercials, the opening and closing credits, and the Zuko and Iroh subplot, there isn’t nearly enough time to develop a good mystery plot, with the heroes finding clues and gradually realizing the truth. Instead, we have a few cursory investigation scenes, and a bunch of lame jokes, before everything’s solved with a double dose of deus ex machina.”