TV Show: Riverdale

Riverdale: South Side Story

We’re finally back to our favorite small town where big, implausible things happen! Welcome back to Riverdale, everyone! The post-Christmas revelry has worn off and now we’re ready to get back to the dark,...

Riverdale: Unwrapping the hood

Despite the Black Hood’s earlier threat that the “reckoning” is upon Riverdale, the town seems to proceeding with the usual amount of holiday drama, specifically surrounding money. Archie and his dad are selling Christmas...

Riverdale: Go Greased Lightning!

According to Jughead, everyone is wearing a mask—metaphorically speaking, of course. The Black Hood just happens to wear his literally and he’s pretty happy with it. This stands in sharp contrast with Betty’s metaphorical...

Riverdale: Lil' Crime Stoppers

Jughead informs us that every fairy tale has essentially the same warning: don’t go into the woods because there’s nothing but trouble there. Examples include Little Red Riding Hood meeting a hungry wolf and...

Riverdale: Daddy in a coma

“Our story is not over,” begins Jughead’s narration for the season 2 premiere of Riverdale. Hell yeah, it isn’t! Welcome to the town where there’s creepy wig rooms, strange obsessions with maple syrup, dramatic funerals,...

Riverdale: We can be heroes

Why does the Blossom family take their maple syrup so seriously? Why did they have their super elaborate maple tapping ceremony at the beginning of winter when any New Englander knows that maple syrup season begins at...

Riverdale: Homecomings and goings

Welcome back (again) to Riverdale! These random CW hiatuses are killing me and I don’t understand the logic behind them. Are they trying to drag out the final episodes? Accommodating standardized testings for their teen viewers?...

Riverdale: Baby on Board

Hello, everyone! Welcome back to Riverdale, where there’s only one high school and one restaurant but there’s an Uber service that will take you to teen nightclubs. As much as I like ragging on...

Riverdale: Daddy Lessons

I can’t even make fun of this week’s pretentious narration because we opened with a dream sequence where all the Riverdale characters are dressed like their retro counterparts. Jughead is even wearing his crown...