VIDEO: Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)

A new Transformers movie has come out, and Mr. Mendo very passionately has no idea what to make of it!

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  • TheRedWorm

    It’s better than Leprechaun in Space? Talk about damning with faint praise.

    • MichaelANovelli

      Yeah, Leprechaun movies really vary in quality…

      • TheRedWorm

        From forgettable all the way to “How much cocaine did you need to do before THAT became a good idea!?”

        • MichaelANovelli

          I dunno. First one had its moments. 🙂

          • TheRedWorm

            Oh yeah, I forgot about that one. 😉

          • MichaelANovelli

            Never forget!

          • TheRedWorm

            The gunpowder treason and plot? I see no reason that it should be forgot.

            I may or may not be ever so slightly “Chemically enhanced” right now.

          • MichaelANovelli

            Say no to drugs! Drink Faygo, instead! ^_^

          • TheRedWorm

            There’s a difference? :p

  • Beast Wars. Yesssss. Far more interesting than an obviously merchandise-driven show had to be. (“Two or three episodes have passed. Time to introduce a character or change a character’s form!”)

    • MichaelANovelli

      Plus, there was a character who was a rat, and he was the shit! ^_^

  • maarvarq

    I’m too old to be a Transformers fan boy anyway, and personally I don’t see the big deal about Star Wars either. Even Star Trek is a string of “things that sounded cool at the time” rather than, y’know, actual science fiction.

    • MichaelANovelli

      It just seems to me that they don’t need to be so damn *serious* all the time!

      • maarvarq

        If by “they”, you mean the makers of Star Trek, well, 99% of the time. Remember the Tribbles episodes, and the “nuclear wessles” bit from the fourth movie 🙂

        • MichaelANovelli

          Well, I was using the Royal They. LOL

        • Ken Zevo

          I think Walter Koenig would happily chew through his own weight in neutronium jail cell bars, if he could slowly disembowel the writer who saddled him with that “nuclear wessles” albatross for the rest of his life, once he got to the other side.

          • MichaelANovelli

            I dunno. He’s pretty old by now…

          • Ken Zevo

            I hate to sound like a Trekkie, but that joke contained a subtle in-joke … several, really. A quick check at Wikipedia will confirm that neutronium (in the Star Trek sense) does not exist; could not exist, as a stable solid, unless constantly maintained at the most wild extremes of pressure / gravity (like inside a white dwarf / neutron star); and, to add insult to injury, since a piece of this mythical substance that was the size of a sugar cube, would weight more than the Empire State Building … the bars made from Mr. Koenig’s weight in neutronium would be pretty flimsy bars, far thinner than threads of spider’s silk … you’d need a microscope to even see them. So feeble ol’ gray-haired Walter wouldn’t break a sweat, chewing through them … in fact, he could probably sneeze his way through … even a healthy fart would do the trick.

          • MichaelANovelli

            Well, I like his chances a little better, then…

          • JD

            he got to be Alfred Bester on B5 So there is that.

  • Wizkamridr

    The japanese toy commercials are better than the bay films. The recent games werent that bad. I never got into the comics. I went back and watched the 80s cartoons. I must have been eating paste when I was a kid.
    I still cant believe there are power ranger fans that want a serious movie. It isnt supposed to be. I know this has nothing to do with transfomers.

    • MichaelANovelli

      At the very least, another Power Rangers movie will actually give us robot dinosaurs!

  • Gallen Dugall

    http://vimeo.com/97145724
    Skyfall review needs linky

    • MichaelANovelli

      My own face popping up unexpectedly scared the hell out of me…

      • Gallen Dugall

        it’s good for you – builds character

        • MichaelANovelli

          I would certainly hope so…

      • Gallen Dugall

        oh crap, I missed the opportunity to say –
        NOBODY EXPECTS THE MICHAEL A NOVELLI!

        • MichaelANovelli

          But, people do expect me! I’m awesome!

          • Gallen Dugall

            yes dear

  • Sooper

    To be fair, I don’t think these movies are bad because they stray from the source and the source was high art and the greatest thing the 80’s brought us. I think these movies are bad because they’re bad. Though the complete disrespect of the source material doesn’t help. ANother thing that doesn’t help is Marky Mark. HIs line delivery.. I’m pretty sure he’s doing an impression of Andy Samberg’s impression of him, and is just trolling us. Or, he honestly doesn’t know he’s terrible. “Hey, Optimus. So you’re a robot who turns into a truck. What’s that like? Say hi to your mother for me.”

    • MichaelANovelli

      Meh. It beat people staring blankly for three hours, give ‘im that. 🙂

      • Sooper

        Yeah, but that’s like saying “This is only the second most painful kidney stone I’ve ever had”. As if that makes it better. It’s still a pain that defies description.

  • Gallen Dugall

    Okay after watching this and the linked Skyfall review I have a nit pick. T4 is a dumb movie that knows it’s a dumb movie – there’s a certain low level of respectability in something knowing what it is and not trying to be anything else. Skyfall was a dumb movie in pretentious denial. Yes, it has effective actors and is competently shot action, admittedly it’s not nearly as dumb as T4, but it is equally dumb as Star Trek into Darkness. Like STiD the plot to Skyfall does not make a bit of sense and just piles on contradictory complexity to obscure this. Sitting through both was being punched in the face with lazy reference fan service constantly reminding me I could be watching a better film. Even setting aside how technology is inexplicable magic that obeys the whims of the baddie and magical Joker explosives anywhere and anytime the villain needs something to explode – it’s not that hard to kill people Skyfall baddie, we’ve got an entire department dedicated to keeping the USAlund prez alive and it has proven not enough. Skyfall baddie makes it seem like people are naturally immortal with how hard he has to try to kill one person who wasn’t even getting around the clock protection before his dumb little plot started dancing around like an elephant in a tutu.

  • Ken Zevo

    Fair Warning! I never – and I mean NEVER, not EVER, not even ONCE – watched anything with the Transformers in it, before I saw this movie. I was from the Jonny Quest generation, so when the Transformers came around, I was too old to do the “willing suspension of disbelief” necessary to accept the premise that, of ALL the things a robot could change into, it would be a car !??! It’s like that scene from the movie, “Sky High”, where they are having the Hero / Sidekick power placement test, and one of the kids is a shapeshifter … but the kid can only change into a big beach ball, lol! Useless as (insert anatomically improbable generic put-down here). Go to time index 2m25s. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snLDrZ8mgKc
    Anyway, not a fan, never a fan, HATE the whole concept and always have, never watched the cartoon, never owned the toys, never saw any of the movies, never wanted to have anything to do with ANY of it. So, I can say with some confidence that 1) I am coming at this from the position of a complete Transformers Universe virgin, and 2) if anything, my default position has always been undisguised hostility and derision, i.e. “Transformers suck, and anyone who loves them is a moron, or an adult baby, or both!”
    So, when did this all change? Let me say it was a slow, almost glacial, (dare I say it?) … transformation. The first bit of Transformabilia that ever caught my eye was the now-iconic bat-suit / wing-suit jump over Chicago, which I saw in the previews while waiting for another sci-fi movie to start at the cinema. I still hated Transformers, but I was IMPRESSED, no doubt about it. That was so … Michael Bay! “Nothing exceeds like excess”, but that was SO totally over-the-top that even I had to go “OOOhhh! AAAHHH!” with the rest of the audience, lol.
    For a long time after that, nothing happened. Then the previews for T4 came out, and I started taking notice … again. And, slowly but surely, I knew I was going to see the movie … but “just to see the action sequences”. So, yesterday (Friday, July 19, 2014), I finally girded my loins, plunked down my $8 at the local cinema, and watched T4.
    And it absolutely blew my socks off.
    Now, a few caveats and disclaimers. I have watched much of Michael Bay’s portfolio of films: The Rock (personal favorite), Armageddon (2nd place), Pearl Harbor (jumped the shark), and The Island (JABR = Just Another Bad Re-make), to name a few. I have largely sided with the co-founders of South Park – too many explosions and effects, hardly any plot. In short, I don’t like Mr. Bay’s creative “style”, I generally avoid his most recent movies like the clap, and my opinion of him is only a bare notch above “hack”. The fact that he is a rich and successful hack only adds insult to injury. In short, I don’t like Michael Bay, and wish the earth would open up and swallow him whole.
    So, I went in to see T4 knowing it was going to be action-heavy. I did not know anything about Transformers cannon, history, Universe mechanics, characters, who-played-who in what films, etc. I was a completely clean slate. My expectations were bargain-basement clearance table low, I just went to see my favorite whipping boy blow shit up. And, strangely enough, I think all these negatives are why I had such a wonderful time.
    I bought into the Transformers Universe hook, line, and sinker from the minute the movie started. I didn’t compare it to the cartoon series, or the previous films, I didn’t get pissed because my favorite character or actor didn’t appear, was changed or ret-conned, or because the movie broke cannon … because I didn’t know jack about any of that. Everything was new, so I could judge it – stand or fall – on its own merits. And, of course, I expected things to blow up from start to finish, I expected the characters to be 2-dimensional and under-developed, and I expected the plot to be almost superfluous and wholly subjugated to the action.
    I was surprised that all the various characters were introduced in a natural and realistic fashion, the exposition of the previous films and the Transformers Universe generally was not forced and flowed naturally from the plot … and there WAS a plot. And realistic, loveable characters. And realistic, hate-able villains with realistic motives and motivations. It was a bit cheesy, yes, but WAY less than I was expecting. Optimus was noble, but became increasingly disillusioned as the film progressed, until he was down-right pragmatic by the finale … and his eventual redemption was not the sort of “deus ex machine” b.s. that I expected (and, all too often, blatantly and unrepentantly happens in franchises based on an after-school kids’ cartoon show.) It flowed naturally from all that had come before, “no unicorns or rainbows need apply”.
    Of course, the action was insane, an adrenaline-packed roller coaster from start to finish … but it wasn’t your usual G.I.Joe “everybody parachutes safely after getting shot down” watered-down baby pablum … altho there was some of that too … but this was full-on, hard-core, “he’s got a GUN to X’s head and you know he WILL put a bullet thru X’s brain if he doesn’t get the info he wants”, X-Files black-ops, Dark Knight, adult entertainment. I had a blast (pun intended) watching it all and came out the far side still damp with sweat and my heart-strings thoroughly pulled upon.
    There was a good plot, great character development, the CGI was largely seamless and flawless … yada-yada-yada … just go see it!
    In summation, I give T4 a solid 9.8 / 10 score. The only real fault I can think of – other than it’s STILL Michael Bay doing yet another Transformers flick – was that there were a few too many “endless miracle saves”, you know the kind, hero JUST misses getting hit by falling bricks, which make him ALMOST lose his footing and fall off the 2×4 he is tightrope-walking across over the yawning chasm between 2 rooftops, yada-yada-yada a la Indiana Jones. Fortunately, that only happened in a really obvious way 2-3 times, and then only briefly, so it wasn’t a major barrier to my enjoyment, but it did kind of jar my “willing suspension of disbelief”. Most of the time tho, I was solidly worried that someone was going to finally run out of luck & get squashed like a bug, and with good cause to be.
    Best $8 I have spent on a movie this summer, and I hope Mr. Bay makes his T5 soonest, lol. I will be there to see it, when it comes out … damn it!

    • MichaelANovelli

      Ah, yes. Always good to come in with a fresh perspective. 🙂

    • Shinoji

      Kind of a douche thing to say about the other series, but oh well, Your opinion, so I’ll respect it.

      • Ken Zevo

        Yes, THAT certainly sounds respectful. Thanx for all the “respect”; I’ll go haul it out to the garden now and put it to good use, fertilizing the roses.

        I do not think the word “respect” means what you think it means.

        I come down hard on Transformers, and Michael Bay, in the beginning of my review; but then I use that to show / prove just how far off-base and unfair I had been, esp. once I was finally willing to go and see one of these movies in its entirety, with my own eyes. In the end, I freely admit that in spite of all my previous prejudices (which were many) and ignorance (ditto), I have now been won over; I give the movie extreme high marks; and I look forward to the next installment in the franchise, with a fervor normally reserved for a Star Wars or Hunger Games opening. In the end, I make myself look bad, and deservedly so, not the movie nor the franchise. Is that a “douche thing” to say too?

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIP6EwqMEoE

        • Shinoji

          I said that because it seemed like there was no end in sight. Oops? I honestly don’t really know what to say.

          Yeah, and you’re right, I DO keep using that word. =/ Should probably cut down on it.

          • Ken Zevo

            Well, I got up on the wrong side of bed, this morning, so I owe you an apology as well. I sincerely regret having disrespected you, and I am grateful that you choose to see it as a learning opportunity, instead using my poorly-considered choice of reply as an excuse for getting into a flame war. Your politeness and courtesy are above average, in my humble opinion; and I tip my hat to you, for keeping your cool better than I did. *hat tip* May we meet again soon, under better circumstances. Until then, my very best wishes to you and yours.

          • Shinoji

            Thanks.

  • Shinoji

    I liked this movie, but the human characters (mostly the teenage girl) were douchebags.

    • MichaelANovelli

      Yeah, they kinda were…