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VIDEO: Top 9 Worst Game Boy Accessories

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When you were a kid, did you ever dream of using a handheld gaming console to sew some new clothes, find sunken shipwrecks, or check your blood glucose levels? Well, apparently you missed out on your dreams. Johnny counts down the worst-ever accessories made for the Nintendo Game Boy!

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  • What the hell, why does number 1 exist? XD

    This was funny, great work again Johnny

    • John Sco

      Glad you enjoyed it man! It was a lot of work, but a hell of a lot of fun to make!

      • Thomas Stockel

         Pretty awesome, man.  When you showed the sewing machine I was half convinced you were making shit up.  🙂

        • John Sco

          The Singer Izek is completely real! And apparently, it actually kicks ass! Judging from the reviews I read about it, it shouldn’t even be on this list. But for me personally, the idea of paying 400 bucks to connect my gameboy to a sewing machine is…well….actually pretty fucking cool, but completely asinine at the same time.

          Buttonholer…heh….

    • Cristiona

      In a twisted way it makes sense.  N2O is used in dentistry as a sedative, but if you just slap a mask on a kid, they’re probably going to freak out.  Disguise it as a game accessory and they might not really notice until they’re too zonked to care.  I mean, it’s clearly not (designed) for home use.

  • Jay_Bay

    Sewing Machine?  are you serious?  And sonar?  da fuck?

  • Jay_Bay

    I want a PediSedate…..no lie

    • John Sco

      Me too man. I really did look around to see if I could find one, but no luck. But there’s GOTTA be someone out there who has one…

      • The_Stig

        I want one too, just so I can have an excuse to scream “DON’T YOU LOOK AT ME! DON’T YOU FREAKING LOOK AT ME! MOMMY!!!!! MOMMY!!!!!” at people.

  • Weed, whippets and the PediSedate. Johnny’s got you covered everyone! It’s nice to know that Nintendo subtly didn’t forget that their systems did attract an older demographic with the PediSedate. Those things must be worth a fortune if they go on Amazon!

    • John Sco

      The second you see one, let me know. Someone has gotta own one of those fuckers, and it might as well be me. :p

  • Cristiona

    I wonder if the Glucoboy came with a copy of Captain Novalin…

  • John Wilson

    Now the best accessorize:).
    http://imgur.com/gallery/YO1fA

    • John Sco

      Coming up next on the Oldschoo’ Review! The Top 9 Sexiest Nintendo outfits! (Yeah, I’m a big fuckin’ geek…but that is seriously a cute outfit.)

      • MephLord

        I really, really hope no one considers Mario a sex symbol.  Although sadly, I could see Ron Jeremy playing Mario in Super Mario XXX, with Porn Critic loving every moment of that movie.

        • Jay_Bay

          wait…..that HASN’T been done already?

          • John Sco

            Actually, it has. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lbQd2bd1Z0

      • Jay_Bay

        I like the girl in the outfit….and the outfit as well.  Insert my battery in her back compartment indeed.

  • Torgeaux

    At some point in a comic career you have to take the pie in the face.  You now have that covered.  P.S. Laughed my ass off. P.S. It is now my what’s left of my life goal to find the PediSedate. (cue Clannad’s “I will find you.”)

    • John Sco

      If you find one, I will pay you my entire life savings for it. *checks his bank account* 17 dollars. Damn.

  • TheCrazyFish

    Just one thing to say: in regards to number one, medical sedation for a surgical procedure is NOT irresponsible and is not anything like taking acid.

    • John Sco

      I know man. Actually, the PediSedate is a pretty good idea. I had a few trips to the hospital as a kid that would have been made far easier for me if I had been given one of those things. 

      But as I was doing research for this one and came across the pictures of a kid holding the gameboy with a nitrous mask on, I couldn’t help but crack up, envisioning kids sitting at home after dinner and breathing in gas while stomping goombas. You gotta admit that at first glance, the thing is pretty bizarre looking.

      • TheCrazyFish

         It is funky looking. Actually, when I first saw the picture of the PediSedate, without any context, my first thought was that it was some sort of “smell-o-vision for the Gameboy” machine.

        • The_Stig

          The PediSedate just looks like what would happen if you asked Frank Booth to design a gaming accessory.

  • TheCrazyFish

    The Glucoboy thing kind of reminds me of the pokéwalker, the pedometer they packaged with Pokémon HeartGold and SoulSilver. It would reward you for distance you walked and/or jogged by unlocking access to new areas where you could find rare monsters and items. Just one problem… you didn’t actually need to walk with it. I did, but when I didn’t feel like that I would also hold it in my hand and shake it up and down, and I read stories on the internet of people strapping it to paint mixers for an hour or two.

    …also, I’m pretty sure this makes me a gaming addict: I actually kind of wish I could find a glucoboy, even though I’m not diabetic, just because I’m curious as to whether or not the games it comes with are any good.

  • Randolph Quazalpene

    I had the magnify glass for my orginal GB, and it sucked, even as a kid I was like wtf.   But DUDE, holy crap, I kind of want a sonar for my e-tablet now or laptop.  laptop + boat = win.

  • Münchner Kindl

    I don’t know why you dump on the solar charger – it means you charge up the batteries and then play, not that you play while charging.

    As for the Sewing machine – while 400 $ is a bit expensive, computer-driven sewing machines for home use were coming out. I can see some overlap that people who were kids in the 80s and bought a gameboy were adults in the 2000s and happy to still be able to use the gameboy lying around. (I assume you could programm additional patters instead of just using the ones on the cartridge?)

    Alternativly, if the parents spend several 100 $ on the gameboy, why not choose a sewing machine that will let them get some use out of the gameboy, too?

    • John Sco

      Rechargeable batteries do the same thing though, and you can charge them even when it’s dark out, plus use them for other things like phallic shaped vibrating sex toys. 

      Seriously though, for half of this stuff I was just trying to write some jokes. It’s far from any sort of comprehensive list of bad accessories, and more of an excuse for me to make people laugh. 

  • Joseph Tedesco

    Oh my god… my cousin was playing with the booster boy during my little sister’s holy communion YEARS AGO! I remember he got so frustrated, that he wanted to switch with my gameboy pocket 😛

    • John Sco

      He brought a Booster Boy into a Church? He must have been a very pure soul for God not to smite him on that very spot. XD

      • Joseph Tedesco

        Lol, it was at the after-party! I’m almost certain he would have been struck down by lightning if he brought it in church!

  • They named it PediSedate? Sounds like a sedative for your feet.

    • TheCrazyFish

      Well playing gameboy for extended periods does tend to make my feet fall asleep.

  • DeRosset

    Keep it steel, bro.
    I don’t know why I said that or why Aquaman said it to Clark Kent.