Here Are All The Things We Are Buying From Johnny Weir’s Must-Have Spring Fashion Picks
Did you watch the Olympics? Did you think the best part of the Olympics was Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski doing figure skating commentary? If you did not, you shut your filthy mouth. We love Johnny Weir with the fire of a thousand suns, which is why we’re buying almost everything in his spring fashion guide.
We’re definitely buying these creepy shoes with Barbie doll heads embedded in them, because who DOESN’T want the sensation of walking around stomping on Barbie heads all day long?
Also, there’s no question that we want this see-through hoodie, which is really just so versatile for spring and also is manufactured by a company named “Skingraft” which is a really sexy name to think about wearing, because if there’s one thing we like to think of, it is someone with a skingraft wearing a transparent hoodie. Hawt.
These pants have a detachable portion that is called a “rump duster.” Johnny helpfully notes that this means you get two looks for the price of one!
This is a thing called runway hair. It is gold leaf. You put it in your hair. Need we say more?
We mock, but we love, and we’ll be thrilled when Weir wears all of these sorts of things in 2018 when, God willing, he and Lipinski dethrone the execrable Scott Hamilton and do all the evening figure skating commentary, resplendent in jewels and furs and bitchiness.