Sarah Palin’s New Teevee Show Has A Theme Song And It Is Your New Jam, America

You guys we are so excited to bring you this sick new jam that is going to be the theme song for Sarah Palin’s latest teevee vanity project that she will quit in six months, “Amazing America.” Conveniently, the song is also too called “Amazing America” so Sarah can’t mess up the name. Haha she still will you guys.

Did you go listen? That song, brought to you courtesy of some band we have never heard of called “Madison Rising,” is indeed amazing, if by “amazing” we mean “almost unbearably bad to listen to.” It’s like Nickelback if Nickelback sucked 1000 times more than Nickelback. It’s like the dude from television’s “Sister Wives” started a band.

sister-wives-kody-brown-284x2121

Except this band’s lead singer is no doubt way sexxxxier and more brooding and more inexplicably tattooed.

Madison_Rising__Tour_Dates

We can’t even get over the awful. It’s like Creed took a few years off, worked in an iron mine, and wrote a song about it. Now we have probably made you think about the time the lead singer of Creed made a sex tape with Kid Rock and some strippers and we are sorry not sorry.

Or maybe this song is more like the ice road trucker guys decided to form a jam band in their spare time. That would explain why the lyrics are so dreadful and plodding.

We believe in the USA/We built this country the American Way.

How long do you think they had to spitball to come up with rhyming “USA” with “American Way”? That’s some nuanced songwriting right there. Does it get worse from there? YEP.

We fish the water and hunt the lands/And forge the steel with our own two hands.

Did you watch the video? ‘Cause if you did, you saw that during the lyrics above they did indeed show someone fishing, hunting, and forging steel. What is it with conservative anthems that they all need to be so literal minded? This thing is one step away from just being “America, Fuck Yeah.”

Great liberal songs are not like this, are they? This is as if Woody Guthrie, instead of writing “This Land is Your Land” just wrote:

Oh I’m a liberal/yes I’m a liberal/oh gosh a liberal/fuck yeah a liberal.

So, on a scale of one to Accidental Racist, with one being blissful silence and Accidental Racist being Accidental Racist, this thing is a solid CPAC Panel moderated by James O’Keefe. Keep on rockin’ America.

You may also like...

  • memzilla

    Because nothing says “American” like jailhouse tats on a white guy with a bear-greased hair mop.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    We’re Americans. We make up America.Wow.

    • angelfoot

      Listen carefully. They’re not mere Americans but that special breed, Ameri-CANS!!!1!!

      • Ben Magno

        Ameri-CAN, but won’t if it involves a slight amount of learning.

  • Jan Ness

    That is freaking HILARIOUS!

  • Arcturus

    I think that band are the dickheads who played at CPAC.

  • Lynn Vannucci

    This hurts. This just hurts.

  • Hammiepants

    The song is bad enough. The content of this crapfest looks equally compelling. I anticipate the slaughter of many animals and an assload of ordnance.

  • $73376667

    If you have some whiteboy “Tao” bullshit (complete with authentic Chinese Gothic blackletter!) hanging in your garage, you hate Jesus.Real America knows there’s only four elements! It’s in the Bibble, where Jesus harrowed virtuous pagan Aristotle out of Heck!

  • Kara

    That was hysterical and thanks for that equally hysterical Team America video…I’m not touching the other one.

  • No mention of Madison Rising’s worst-ever rendition of The National Anthem at the Daytona 500? (hint: It’s in the wrong time signature)

    • swanswanh

      So glad to know / hate you for telling me about that. The video is staggering.

    • Caelan Aegana

      Ah shit, I just had flashbacks.

    • $73376667

      For billing themselves as hyperpatriots, they really do leave nothing sacred.

    • WS

      NASCAR promoted these guys who performed “The Star-Spangled Banner” before today’s Nationwide Series race at Daytona as “Madison Rising, America’s Most Patriotic Rock Band.” I guess the more patriotic, the less talented! (Things really get good, and by good I mean bad, around the one-minute mark.)http://deadspin.com/americas-most-patriotic-band-plays-americas-worst-a-1528647990

  • Joseph

    Is he smelling the crotch of some leotards?

  • chascates
    • BMW

      I forgot what she looked like before her face melted, circa 2011.

  • Serolf Divad

    How many Chevy Silverado ads did these guys listen to before composing this musical marvel?

  • tegrat

    That’s MR. Madison Rising to you, libcommies!

  • Is there anything this idiot mentions in the song that distinguishes Murrika from any other country? I mean, doesn’t every place in the world have dogs, horses, trucks, firemen, SWAT teams ,,, he didn’t mention the moon landing or FEMA camps, did he?

  • That tatted out wing-nut – is he blowing his schnozz in the FLAG?

  • bellamacina

    Wow that song really blows. And what’s with the running of the bulls scene? Last time I checked, that was in Pamplona.

  • AnOuthouse

    Everyone should form a jam band in their spare time. America should be one big ass jam band from sea to shining sea. Woody would approve.

  • elpinche

    It’s unAmerican filth. There’s no mention of Jesus or the Constitution. Might as well have been performed by bin Laden when he had a face. So lick my butt and suck on my balls!

  • NotConvinced

    If fishing and hunting don’t rock, I don’t know what does. OK I know hunting and fishing don’t rock. Needs more rape though. That’s American. It doesn’t rock either but it’s American, at least with the troops. And they’re American.

  • jjdaddyo

    I actually heard the Phil Ochs song “Love Me I’m a Liberal” for the first time on Spotify the other day. It’s sarcastic and great.

  • Richard_thunderbay

    That image with the flag is obscene.

  • Lancelot Link

    They’ve also played at birther/survivalist/anti-zionist/conspiracy rallies, so they should fit right in with Palin’s message.

  • kfreed

    Who the hell put that hate-filled ignoramous on television again?

  • ohpaleasegivemeabreak

    Interesting how Sarah’s band dude seems to be blowing his nose in the American Flag. What’s that about?

  • dsmith

    Let us always remember how this miscreant rose to national prominence. Bloody Bill Kristol, promoter of co-opting the US military to fight proxy wars for Israel, thought Palin would breath new life into John McCain’s miserable campaign for the presidency. WRONG!Kristol and his neocon warmonger friends figured if the 70 something year old McCain was successful but then died in office, they would have a female GW Bush sitting in the white house. From there is would be hello Tehran this bomb is for you, all the while telling Palin to turn a blind eye to Israel’s apartheid like treatment of the Palestinians. In other words, they knew Palin was dumb enough to fall for their propaganda about protecting America by creating chaos in the middle east. She was their stooge.

    • and instead with barack hussein obama and i get to do obamacare. best laid plans.

  • Ginzberg

    Plod rock. Drink beer.

  • Lemmy Caution

    But this song is good! Because of what it has in it, the words. It has good, true, American words, such as like dogs and horses and of course trucks but also guns — the very same guns that causes the libtards and lamestream media to piddle themselves like so many pink-panty wearing girlie mens. But Sarah of the real America, the amazing America, sings the song of life that just so happens to resemble mostly a beer commercial, or possibly a video for a country western song. And if you aren’t on a horse, carrying a gun, running alongside a pickup truck, trying also not to run over your dog who is also running alongside the truck, then you obviously are probably too busy serving on some grim Obamascare death panel somewhere, gleefully pulling the plug on the gramm’s and gramp’s whose glorious heaven-blessed coupling decades ago made all of this amazing Amerigasm possible.

    • Ardiva40

      All those ‘American’ words are also used in other countries!

  • Beaufighter

    What is he doing in that picture?”Sniff….sniff…should probably wash this after fapping into it for a week straight.”

  • Deleted

    This post was deleted.

  • fredoandme

    did that guy just strangle someone using that flag? or just planning to?also. i only made it 10 seconds into that song. i feared internal, perhaps eternal, damage.

  • WS

    Ewwww why is he sniffing menopausal grannie’s pantaloons when he could be sniffing her shoes?

  • It seems like an extended remix of this here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-LYH2Gg8yM

  • Miss Dill

    I was born in Alaska, and I’d like to apologize on behalf of Alaska for this. No one deserves this – least of all Alaskans.

  • TheLifeSilica

    Oh man, the best Madison Rising moment is them turning the national anthem into a pile. You can see the vets restraining the urge to cave their faces in.http://www.wptv.com/entertainment/madison-rising-performs-rock-version-of-star-spangled-banner-at-daytona-500-race

  • WS

    I heard this band played at the opening of peopleofwalmart.com

  • You know, for all the slack it gets, AutoTune would have really helped those pathetic, sad vocals.

  • Roger_of_Arabia

    You know that flag in the background, the sacred symbol of the Amazing America that they love so much? Too bad the stupid fucks don’t know how to display it properly. The blue field with the stars should be in the upper left corner regardless (or as Sarah would say irregardless) of whether it is oriented vertically or horizontally.

  • Joe Evony

    Horribly good, at least the first 1:22. Hey, maybe a good pole dancin song thingy doncha know

  • Chuck Mac

    Ahhh! Singing the praises of America whille showing a clip of a guy firing a Ruski made AK-47