VIDEO: The Last Exorcism Part II (2013)

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Jackula refuses to see The Last Exorcism Part II starring Ashley Bell and produced by Eli Roth. Turns out he and the Guru are going to need a real exorcist.

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  • Muthsarah

    (stream of consciousness comment in response to a rather unscripted-seeming review)

    How old could you guys have been thirteen years ago? Old enough to even frequent horror flicks?

    If this is such an easy, lazy, brand of cash-in flick, why wasn’t it done 10-20 years ago? It’s clearly so popular to-day that everyone’s doing it, so why wasn’t everyone doing it back then?

    The Pringles guy DOES have a rather nice mustache. I’d trust that mustache.

    Seriously, half the review devoted to nothing review-related?

    OK, the DS9 reference redeems it somewhat. I AM that much of a nerd.

    Fear and Loathing…also cool. But time’s running out….

    Is this your way of saying you simply don’t give even one-thousandth-squared of a shit about this flick?

    • $36060516

      “If this is such an easy, lazy, brand of cash-in flick, why wasn’t it done 10-20 years ago? It’s clearly so popular to-day that everyone’s doing it, so why wasn’t everyone doing it back then?”

      For the same reasons people weren’t cutting their hair like The Beatles before The Beatles were popular. Cutting your hair like The Beatles is easy but no one realized they could make money by doing it until they did and made it popular. And so people started lazily cashing in on someone else’s style rather than thinking up their own thing.

      • Jack Shen

        Yeah pretty much. If this had been the first movie, the second one would have made no money even if it were as good as the first.

    • Jack Shen

      Allow me to respond in haiku:

      Older than The Thing
      They made them back in the day
      Yes, that would be it

      • danbreunig

        Thing 1 of Thing 2? Or really, old or new Thing? Or best I leave in the bliss of ignorance?

        Love the poetry too–as a brace of humourous commentators in cinematic angst devour the chips fantastic…

        • Jack Shen

          John Carpenter’s, The Thing, was the first horror movie I saw and I watched it with my dad when it premiered on cable TV.

          • Sofie Liv

            Oh that’s why you are so screwed up.

          • Jack Shen

            Saw Blade Runner with my dad too, in the theaters.

          • Muthsarah

            …Were you old enough to even remember it? You seriously don’t look it.

          • MephLord

            He’s probably a Highlander Immortal I wouldn’t question the age of Count Jackula. Or he could be a clone of Dick Van Dyke, anything is possible. If he got the Elixer of Youth from Van Dyke, added in the hair folicles of Ryan Seacrest, sat through an entire episode of Full House without falling asleep and drank the blood of Martha Stewart he probably did achieve immortality. And that’s an awful price to pay since Tinky Winky always visits on a Thursday.

          • MephLord

            I doubt that’s the only reason…he does seem to spend a lot of time with the Horror Guru, who looks a bit like Cthulhu…

          • Sofie Liv

            It all starts some-where. A ten year old boy, whom knows nothing about horror or its like, and the first thing he puts his eyes on… is that.

            I consider myself pretty tough when it comes to movies, but that movie sure scared the hell out of me when I saw it as an adult. I first saw that when I was nine-teen, and that was on a little TV and I was surrounded by friends. I was still scared.

            So it only makes sense! it starts by scaring him insane with John Carpenters the thing, the next thing you know. Cthulhu offerings!

            When I was in watching the first lord of the rings movie with my mom, she covered my eyes when the giant octopus came! … went in watching the second one alone though…. and I loved it.. I was twelve at that time.

            My mom is kind of into chick-flicks while my Dad is into Charlie Chaplin and art movies, so I had to discover gore by other means.

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            I never watched horror-movies – except you want to call “Underworld”-Horror-Movies.

            However I can name you the best and the worst Sci-fi-Movie I have ever watched and both having the same actor starring.

            Louis de Funes.

            The best Sci-fi-Movie EVER (and this is even bringing Star Trek, Stargate and Star Wars to shame) is a funny invasion-Story called “Le gendarm et les extra-terristres” (The gendarm and the extra-terrestrials) in which Louis De Funes plays – well… basically the same role, he always plays. Hectic, choleric, yet likeable. Here he is Ludovic Cruchot in a small town called “St. Tropez”, where he witnesses an UFO taking off. The whole film is so over the top but has a certain, almost creepy “Invasion of the body-snatchers”/”THe Thing”/”Invasion from Mars”-vibe to it, where you don’t know for sure, who is an alien and who isn’t, until their watches start to blink and they go.

            Of course it is mostly played for laughs, but this one tune (this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JyERhRuS6Y) is both epic and a bit… WOW, if you get me.

            The worst sci-fi-movie ever is “La soupe aux Choux” – in which aliens come to earth, because they heard two guys farting after eating cabbage-soup… But a friend of mine says “this is the superior movie to the aliens from the gendarme”. so…

            Like I said – I am not this much into horror, but into its cousin, the Sci-Fi… ^^

          • ^— This is the best comment ever and my day has been made.

          • Mine was James Cameron’s Aliens with my Grandpa. Because fuck yeah!

          • MephLord

            The first horror movie I remember as a kid was Cujo…and man that movie scared the piss out of me. Carrie and Firestarter didn’t scare me nearly as much as Cujo did. I still don’t trust St Bernards, thanks Stephen King. The second horror movie that really affected me as a kid was Poltergeist, except I thought that was really, really cool. So totally different experiences.

    • Thirteen years ago I was twelve and yes, I did frequent horror flicks back then. Jack was significantly older, however. And yes, we don’t even give one-thousandth-squared of shit about this flick. It’s that terrible and pointless. =P The Last Exorcism came out in 2010, which is why they didn’t cash in on it’s success 10-20 years ago. =)

  • $36060516

    Your copy of J. Michael Straczynski’s Screenwriting book has been sticking out to me in a few reviews now…

    Fun review! Liked the cut-out portion, that was pretty wild.

    • Jack Shen

      Yeah I haven’t finished that whole book, but it’s filled with a lot of good stuff. Though the best scriptwriting advice I ever got was from a book on improv role-playing: “Allow yourself to do the obvious.”

      • $36060516

        Not sure if it was intentional or not, but the item that Josh puts in his mouth to create green foam to replicate being possessed looks a lot like a communion wafer, which is somewhat ironic.

        • Jack Shen

          That was, what Bob Ross called “a happy accident.”

          • $36060516

            Children born to parents who fornicated on acid are often hippie accidents.

  • Channeling our inner Hunter S. Thompson, are we, Jackula? Schway. But seriously, how much is Pringles paying you guys?

    • Jack Shen

      Well let’s see…that would be…PRINGLE$

  • danbreunig

    Jackula, when you did your inner monologue you reminded me so much of Phil Austin of the Firesign Theatre. That’s how he often sounds while playing his characters, both in tone and demeanor. Yeah. they’re older than anyone in the Booth (both you reviewers and we forum commentators alike)–they’re to the U.S. in the 60s-70s what Monty Python was to the U.K. I think this is the first non-review review I’ve seen here yet–so bad it can be explained more through reactions than analysis. And that trailer at the end–is that a joke or a real work in the making? ‘Cause I can believe it.

    • It’s real. =)

    • Jack Shen

      Aw man, you know Firesign Theater?

      • danbreunig

        [misty-eyed] I…I thought I was the only one….

        Really though, yeah. I didn’t want to make assumptions, it’s just that the great majority of Agony Boothers are early to mid 20s and maybe never heard the name (Monty’s a bit more familiar worldwide). I got into them around 1993 even though I’m technically what you’d call a Gen-Xer, minus the angst, while most Firesign fans are Baby Boomers. But yeah, there’s so much more film and humor in the world than what’s released in one’s lifetime, and to prove that I’m more familiar with them than Don’t Crush That Dwarf and Nick Danger:

        “This sucker is [chaingunning a guy on a sidewalk below] EXTERMINATED!”

  • Alexa

    “I wanna be a retarded duck too!” XD

    Also, great Harlem Shake.

    • Jack Shen

      Thank you Alexa

  • Jay_Bay

    One statement about this….

    “This is Bat country.”

    • Jack Shen

      🙂