The Flash: My Super Ex-Girlfriend (S2 E5 RECAP)

flash 1.1 publicity shot

Previously on The Flash: Cisco has visions of other metas, there’s a breach connecting Earth-1 and Earth-2, and Harrison Wells is back in town and eliminating Man-Sharks.

In Tomorrowland future-Earth Earth-2, eight months ago, Harrison is giving a press conference. STAR Labs is releasing a line of handy, wearable metahuman detectors, on account of all the metas who’ve gone bad. As he shows off his watch, it beeps agreeably, because a meta is in the room—it’s Flash/Jay, and he’s not happy. He demands that Harrison tell the gathered reporters the truth: he created the metas in the first place, though on Earth-2 it seems to have been from dark matter emitted from under the lab, rather than a very obvious explosion. Harrison of course tells Jay to mind his business, and Jay sets his jaw and speeds off. As Harrison returns to his podium, a young woman asks him if he’s okay—and she calls him “dad”.

To be fair, nobody can take Jay seriously in that hat.

To be fair, nobody can take Jay seriously in that hat.

Eight months later on Earth-1, Harrison Wells is reading the autobiography of Harrison Wells—which he finds disconcerting since he didn’t write it. Turns out Earth-2 Harrison really is Harrison, not Harribard, and claims he’s multiverse-jumping because he’s finally owning up to the fact that he created all the metas on Earth-2 – including Zoom – and he’s planning to stop them (including Zoom). Obviously Barry, Cisco, and Caitlin aren’t totally sold – Cisco in particular is very disconcerted – but Caitlin points out that they have someone who can verify Harrison’s story. Then Joe walks in and promptly shoots at Harrison without even a word. Barry grabs the bullets, of course, but geez, Joe.

…ok, that was pretty funny.

…okay, that was pretty funny.

Out in the hallway, Barry tries to explain to Joe that it’s Harrison, but not the one that Eddie erased from existence. Joe doesn’t really see how Barry can even look at him, and Barry admits it isn’t easy, but if he can do it, so can all of the rest of them. Resigned, Joe heads off to fill Iris in.

Over at Central City Picture News, we’re keeping Linda Park in the picture by having her editor (Eric Larkin, which doesn’t seem to have any comic relevance) whine about her refusal to interview Central City’s star quarterback. She tells him the only story she’ll be running is the one about said quarterback’s domestic violence charges. Iris congratulates Linda on her story, and then Joe calls her away to tell her about Harrison’s return. She’s not particularly bothered, because that sort of weirdness is just part of life these days, but he gives her a gun anyway, just in case.

Barry takes Cisco to Jitters, even though that was totally not what Cisco meant by “I need a drink.” As they’re in line, Patty shows up for some awkward King Shark-related flirting, and she asks Barry if he wants to write the police report with her. Barry declines on account of all the science he has to do, and Cisco just smirks because they were super cute and super awkward. Barry huffs that Cisco hasn’t been on a date in a while, so Cisco awkwardly asks the poor barista out – unbeknownst to him, but knownst to us, the poor barista is muthafucking HAWKGIRL, who even fingers her Nth metal pendant as he walks away – but she declines.

The universal look of all women in the service industry who know they’re about to be awkwardly asked out.

The universal look of all women in the service industry who know they’re about to be awkwardly asked out.

As he moves away from the counter, he gets a vibe: he’s in Central City Bank, which is being robbed. The perpetrator is a woman in a weird helmet thing who shoots light from her hands to take out the security cameras. When he comes to, Barry is asking if he’s okay, and he tells Barry to get to the bank immediately. Barry obeys, and sure enough, the robbery is underway. But light-lady (comic check: This is Doctor Light; the original, Arthur Light, was a villain and his successor, Kimiyo Hoshi, was a hero; our show version is apparently Earth-2 Linda Park, for some reason) doesn’t seem to have any goals – she shoots once at Flash, he dodges, then she tosses some people around with hard light and vanishes while Flash saves them.

In the Cortex, Harrison tells the team that Doctor Light is a thief, not a killer, but that Zoom can make people do things “out of character.” Harrison thinks they should capture Light and lure Zoom to them with her (why would Zoom care about her?), but Jay, entering, thinks that is a stupid plan, because they need more intel before they take on Zoom. Also he and Harrison really hate each other; it’s very entertaining. Barry points out that they have to find Light before they can do anything with her, and Harrison starts scanning the city for weird solar radiation emissions. Lest you think Barry forgot about Cisco’s weirdness at Jitters, he does ask about it—and Cisco said he got an alert on his phone. Literally no one buys that excuse. Meanwhile, Harrison and Jay glare daggers at each other across the room.

At CCPD, Barry finally asks Patty out. She’s clearly excited and asks Barry if this is going to be a thing where Science might get in the way. He says definitely not, and they aim for the next night. I feel like Doctor Light is definitely going to get in the way.

This is Vancouver. Know what Vancouver isn’t? CENTRAL TO ANYTHING.

This is Vancouver. Know what Vancouver isn’t? CENTRAL TO ANYTHING.

Down in Cisco’s workroom, Harrison has taken over, and Cisco is not particularly pleased with the development. Harrison finally asks what it is that Harribard did to him to make it so he can’t look Harrison in the eye, and Cisco tells him the truth – that Harrison hand-stabbed him in the chest in an alternate timeline. As Cisco leaves, Harrison glances at his meta-watch. It’s flashing red.

Flash races to another bank robbery, where Doctor Light is cutting into a safe filled with a large block of cash. Flash tells her she doesn’t have to kill him, and she suggests that he’s right, if she can get away with the cash. That’s not unreasonable, but Flash just says that he and his friends can protect her from Zoom. Her voice wavers a little as she says nobody can do that. She removes her helmet, and Barry is a little surprised to find it’s Linda Park—but instead of immediately realizing she’s from Earth-2, you know this, Barry, he acts all shocked like it’s the one he dated. Spooked, Linda pulses a lot of light at Barry to blind him and escapes.

Who stores money this way?

Who stores money this way?

Back at STARLS, Harrison estimates that Barry’s retinas will heal in about 6 hours. The bigger question, though, is why Zoom sent Doctor Light through when she’s not a killer. The team figures it’s because he knew the Earth-1 version was Barry’s ex, and he’d hesitate upon seeing her. Nobody seems sure how Zoom would know that, but they decide they need to keep an eye on Linda-1 just in case, so Jay and Caitlin head off for protective surveillance. Iris comes by to be spooked by Harrison, and she intercepts blind-Barry’s text from Patty about their date. Barry is a little despondent that he’ll have to cancel, but Iris thinks with a little help from Cisco, he should get through the night. This should go well.

As expected, Barry is wearing super conspicuous dark glasses that he leaves on, because there’s a camera feed to Cisco in them. He also narrowly avoids taking out a host and a waitress, bumps into his chair, and nearly knocks over the water, while Cisco can’t read the wine list via the feed or tell what color Patty’s wearing on account of the camera being black and white, but she doesn’t seem to notice anything’s amiss so far.

THE FLASH: My Super Ex-Girlfriend (S2 E5 RECAP)

Yeah, this is totally normal.

Jay and Caitlin are on their stakeout, drinking coffee in the STAR Labs van. I think we’re supposed to, like, ship them, but the chemistry is pretty nonexistent even when Caitlin says things like “I don’t trust Wells…I trust you,” so I’m not feeling it. Anyway, Jay has fought Zoom a bunch and lost a bunch, and he’s cautious because he doesn’t want Barry to lose his speed too.

On Date Night, it’s gotten dark, and Barry is somehow drinking his wine successfully. He and Patty are talking about their near-death experiences – lightning strikes for him, and drowning at 9 for her – and fear. Cisco is still watching through Barry’s glasses and snacking like this is a great new reality show, but Patty has figured out that Barry totally can’t see. Barry says he got his pupils dilated and he just didn’t want to cancel. He takes off the glasses, much to Cisco’s disappointment.

On not-date night, Jay and Caitlin are talking about their favorite vacation spots. Jay’s is Atlantis (he even says he has a friend from there; I suppose this is a reference to Aquaman, but we’re going to pretend he means Aquawoman, who was actually an ally of the Wonders of the World, Garrick’s Earth-2 super-team). Then they start to kiss, which ugh, whatever, but thankfully Doctor Light shows up and blasts the van. She storms into the newspaper and kicks everybody out but Linda (her editor, Eric, and Iris stick around to protect her). Guess you should’ve been surveilling more than each other, Caitlin and Jay.

Doctor Light likes gratuitous heterosexuality just as much as I do.

Doctor Light likes gratuitous heterosexuality just as much as I do.

The lovebirds (not Barry and Patty) wake up, and Jay rushes inside after Light, who’s explaining to Linda that she doesn’t want to kill, but it’s probably not murder if it’s yourself from another dimension? As they converse, Eric tries to take out Light with a letter opener, and she fries him — then looks appalled at her own actions. Iris takes the opportunity to shoot her right between the eyes, geez Iris, that’s brutal, which knocks her helmet off, letting them all see she’s Linda-2. Jay rushes in, though what he’s going to do is unclear. But Light’s not dead; she sends off a flare, knocking them all back, and escapes.

Barry and Patty are finally ending their date, holding hands because she has to show him where to go. They kiss goodnight at her car, which apparently he doesn’t need to see to do properly, but they get interrupted by simultaneous phone buzzing. Barry answers Cisco, and Patty answers Joe. The topic is probably convergent.

More gratuitous heterosexuality.

More gratuitous heterosexuality.

Linda-1 is pretty shaken as Eric’s taken off in a body bag, but Joe and Barry assure her it’s not her fault. Patty takes Linda to her 24-hour security detail, and Barry tries to blame himself, even though he was entirely blind until like five minutes ago. So…he and Patty were at that restaurant for six hours? But at least they have Light’s helmet to work from.

In the Cortex, Jay apologizes to Barry for the bad intel, since Doctor Light had never killed before, but before Barry can say it’s okay, Harrison say I told you so about that whole “people under Zoom’s influence act out of character” and suggests that the whole thing is Jay’s fault: Barry doubting himself and not going straight after Zoom is because Jay said he wasn’t ready. Jay protests that he’s been fighting Zoom for two years and knows what he’s talking about, but Harrison straight up calls him a coward. And they throw a few punches for good measure, until Barry separates them.

“Who’s scruffy-looking?”

“Who’s scruffy-looking?”

Alone with Barry, Harrison continues to tell him that he’s fast enough to take on Zoom, he just needs to try. Barry admits he can’t really listen to Harrison, because of Harribard, which is starting to frustrate Harrison. He insists that he’s not the same person and Barry just needs to listen to him: if they catch Light, they’ll be able to attract Zoom and take him down. Barry mentions the helmet, and Harrison is suddenly very interested; he knows how to track her from the helmet!

…actually, he knows that Cisco can track her from the helmet. See, because of his metawatch and better observational skills than the rest of the team, Harrison has already figured out Cisco is a meta and what he can do, and he has no qualms about outing him to the entire team with no warning. Poor Cisco is very deer-in-headlights.

“Ha, ha! Powers! Me!”

“Ha, ha! Powers! Me!”

Barry and Caitlin are a little stunned, but mostly understanding, especially when Cisco admits he has fears of turning into Harribard since that’s how he got his powers. Caitlin has a very heavy-handed line about how none of them would turn bad just because they got powers. Harrison is impatient with the touchy-feely friend moment and demands that Cisco just touch the helmet already. Cisco does and…nothing happens, because he can’t control his powers. Harrison is a real ass about it, too, finally shoving the helmet against Cisco’s chest and basically scaring a vibe out of him – but he does find Linda.

Linda is trying to board a train out of town, and Flash quickly clears the platform. She’s frustrated he won’t just let her leave, but he points out that she killed a guy while trying to kill her double. She says that’s the only way to get away from Zoom, but then she sighs that killing Flash will work, too. He stays behind a luggage cart to avoid her light beams, but asks the Cortex for help since they didn’t exactly strategize before rushing into the fight. Jay is at a loss, so Harrison quickly steps in to tell Barry to create speed mirages by running fast enough to leave afterimages of himself, so she won’t know who to fire at. With some encouragement from Jay, he manages to throw Linda into a post and knock her out.

Ugh, I hate this boss fight.

Ugh, I hate this boss fight.

With Linda safely locked up in the metaprison, Barry announces that they’re going to follow Harrison’s plan—lure Zoom to them and fight him on their terms. No one has explained why Zoom gives a fuck about Doctor Light, but okay? Anyway, Jay protests, saying that Barry is faster and better than him, but that doesn’t mean he’s ready to fight Zoom. Barry says he has a whole team for help, including Jay, but Jay bows out. He can’t stay to watch Barry lose his speed or his life, or so he says.

At Jitters, Cisco awkwardly orders coffee from Hawkgirl, after declaring that he swears that’s all he wants, nothing else. But she’s rethinking her earlier “no”—she tells Cisco that she just moved to Central City, and there’s been a lot to get used to, and he caught her off-guard, so maybe he could try again? Instead of hitting on her, he just holds out his hand and introduces himself. She does too: her name is Kendra Saunders (comic check: Kendra Saunders, a.k.a. Hawkgirl, is…just a really complicated mess of reincarnations and souls jumping around, so I think we’ll just wait to see how the show plays it, but hopefully there’s a mace and wings).

Bring it, Legends of Tomorrow.

Bring it, Legends of Tomorrow.

Caitlin is sad that Jay’s left the team, but Barry doesn’t think Jay will be gone forever. Cisco returns with their coffee and Kendra’s number. He’s still not thrilled about his powers, but Barry assures him he doesn’t have to do it alone. Caitlin reminds him he gets to name himself, which definitely cheers him up. He says he’ll have to think about it, but Barry suggests “Vibe” and it’s clear it’s going to stick. As they cheers with their coffees, Harrison watches creepily through the window.

Next step: this costume.

Next step: this costume.

On Earth-2, Zoom speeds into his dark basement lair – he has a prisoner, and she tells him that her father is the smartest man in the world, and he’s going to find her, and kill Zoom. We met her earlier this episode—her name is Jesse Wells.

CW has been trolling Fetlife for their latest villain, clearly.

CW has been trolling Fetlife for their latest villain, clearly.

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TV Show: The Flash

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