“This time around, Stan looks at the TV movie that reunited the stars of a classic ‘70s action series, The Incredible Hulk Returns. And since the notion of Bill Bixby turning into a bodybuilder covered in green body paint isn’t ridiculous enough, they added the Norse god of thunder! Yes, Marvel’s own Thor makes a special appearance here, along with his life partner Donald Blake, and since Kenneth Branagh’s Thor comes out this summer, what better time to look at Thor’s only other live-action appearance?”

“Sure, why not just drop whatever shit you have on your person at the crime scene? Keys, fob watches, old land deeds, who cares? It’s 1981, no one’s invented CSI yet!”

“It was 1987, and the fourth episode of the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation, when nobody knew what a Ferengi was or anything of their now-famous tendencies. So join me, won’t you, as we take a trip back to when an aura of mystery surrounded this new rival of the Federation, and see just how long it takes for their mystique to be utterly and forever left in ruins. ”

“But you can see why this incident would be so unmemorable to the captain. Nearly getting blasted to bits, abandoning ship, adrift in space for weeks, and ultimately immortalized in the textbooks for a feat of heroism would almost totally pass from anyone’s memory after nine years.”

“Helpful hint to spare your heirs some confusion, heartbreak, and bewilderment: If you know you’re going to die, and you have the time, throw out your porn, your leather gimp suit, and all those embarrassing letters where you confess to horrific crime sprees. Oh, and dismantle your evil, indestructible cars.”

“The hit car literally chases Bill around the school grounds, while Ralph takes forever to get his clothes off. It’s like the Keystone Superheroes.”

“We don’t like to talk about it nowadays, but in the 1980s it was perfectly okay for young boys to go riding off with strange men. In fact, it was encouraged in certain circumstances. That’s how we culled the herd back then. Jimmy’s not doing so well in school? Spends all his time playing Berzerk on the Atari? Listens to Air Supply? Time for that last ride, Jimmy! Just hop in the car with that nice man, okay?”

“Holy crap. That cheap novelty lamp is supposed to be the Battlesphere? Are they serious? Jesus, the money was running out even faster than I thought.”

“Realistically though, it’s awful hard to hit a target from a distance of twenty or thirty years.”

“Way back in the early 1980s, producer Glen A. Larson was the king of television, with seemingly dozens of series running on practically every network. Accounts vary on how exactly he came up with the idea of a series about a talking car, but this pilot is the genesis of a show that lasted four years, and spawned several follow-on TV movies, and another, less successful series in 2008. The original Knight Rider was the first series to air opposite Dallas and survive, which is pretty impressive. This is how it all started.”

"You might notice that the plot, about a convicted killer on death row with the power to heal people, is strikingly similar to the premise of Stephen King's serial novel The Green Mile. I haven't read the books, but the episode is very different from the movie based on them. For one thing, it’s 25 minutes long. For another, it stars Patrick Swayze."

"Speaking for myself, when I think of shows airing in 1984 that needed a Christmas episode, V comes in dead last, behind even Airwolf. By the end of this recap, I’m sure you’ll agree with me."

"The only 'disaster' in this movie is NASA's poor planning skills."

"He's not just outrageous, he's nutrageous!"