Articles tagged with #Vampires @ the agony booth : making fun of movies and TV since 2002

#vampires

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001) The Film Renegado #3

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001)
The Film Renegado Episode #3
Posted May 16 2012 by Film Renegado

Vampires are killing lesbians in Canada, and the only person who can stop them is the greatest vampire hunter of all: Jesus Christ! And just in case that's not insane enough for you, God sends the masked Mexican wrestler El Santo to help out.

Watch now...

video

Twilight (2008) Red Suitcase Adventures #4

Twilight (2008)
Red Suitcase Adventures Episode #4
Posted Feb 19 2012 by Sofie Liv

Sofie revisits the movie that started a billion-dollar sparkly vampire franchise, 2008’s Twilight! Join her as she relives those first magical moments when codependency true love blossomed between Edward and Bella!

Watch now...

video

Top 10 Vampires
Terror Obscura Episode #10
Posted Dec 30 2011 by Fear Fan

While you count down to 2012, join the Fear Fan as he counts down his list of the top 10 greatest vampires in movie history. With some obvious choices (Max Shreck) and some not-so-obvious choices (Pee-Wee Herman?), one thing’s for sure: none of these vampires sparkle!

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video

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010) Movie Skewer #3

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)
The Movie Skewer Episode #3
Posted Nov 15 2011 by Michael A. Novelli

“Michael A. Novelli steps up to host the Movie Skewer and take over our coverage of the Twilight Saga: the continuing misadventures of a vacant, passive high school girl, the creepy vampire who controls her, and the werewolf/rapist-in-training who comes between them! In the third installment, Bella and Edward are engaged, which pisses off Jacob, while Victoria organizes an army of “newborn” vampires to kill Bella and get revenge on Edward. So yeah, pretty much the same plot as New Moon, only this time they pay Bryce Dallas Howard to stand around and do nothing.”

Watch now...

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movie recap

The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)
Posted May 31 2010 by Arya

“My prediction at the end of my Twilight recap was correct: This movie did indeed suck harder than its predecessor. In fact, it sucked so hard that it made me wonder why I ever liked the first one to begin with.”

movie recap

Twilight (2008)
Posted May 25 2009 by Arya

"No matter how good of a job the director did, and no matter how hard the screenwriters worked, nobody else's talent is ever going to fix the middle-aged woman's disturbing sparkly wank-dream that is Twilight."

movie recap

Deafula (1975)
Posted Oct 30 2007 by Albert

An Agony Booth Trick or Treat special!

"All you really need to know about this movie is that it's called Deafula, it's about a deaf vampire, it's performed entirely in sign language, and yes, it really exists."

agonizer

Razzie Weekend 2007, Part 2: BloodRayne, The Wicker Man, Basic Instinct 2
Posted Apr 3 2007 by Albert

It's a lesson I've learned time and time again: People will slam movies purely because of who's in them. When forgettable films like Crossroads or Glitter or From Justin to Kelly make it onto the IMDb's list of the 100 worst films of all time, you know people are voting based on the magazine covers at the checkout stand. Same with the films nominated for the Razzie this year. If not for the presence of Sharon Stone, the Wayans brothers, Nicolas Cage, M. Night Shyamalan, and (to a much lesser extent) Uwe Boll, would anybody give two shits about any of these movies? Probably not.

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