As part of a special series of reviews, Joey looks at three generations of animated Batman media. First up is the hilariously lame The Adventures of Batman, featuring the voices of Casey Kasem and Ted Knight, and brought to you by the same studio that gave you He-Man!

“In this episode, Ryan covers The Batman, a lighter, younger, more merchandise-oriented incarnation of the Caped Crusader, featuring vastly ‘reimagined’ versions of Batman’s villains. In the season one episode ‘Q&A’, Batman faces off against the Cluemaster, a subpar Riddler clone who’s been redesigned to be even more useless than he was in the comics.”

“In this installment of Saturday Morning Glory, Ryan Lohner examines The Loonatics, a misguided attempt to make the Loony Tunes edgy and exxxxtreme!!! by turning them into anime-inspired superheroes who shoot energy beams out of random orifices.”

“I’m no scientist, but I’m fairly certain that if your moon loses orbit, you can pretty much cancel whatever plans you had for the day, because you are well and truly about to get FUBARed.”

“This time out, it finally becomes apparent just how much weed was being smoked in the writers’ room at the time, as Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and the Wonder Twins journey into a total rip-off of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings.”

“Hey, kids, remember when Ryan wrote about ‘The Spot’, the second-worst episode of Spider-Man, the cartoon that ran on FOX Kids back in the ‘90s? Well, you’re in luck, because this time around, he looks at the worst episode of the series, ‘Rocket Racer’!

“In it, a whiny kid gets his hands on a rocket-powered skateboard and decides to turn to a life of crime, but ends up being too much of a pussy to follow through on it. Eventually, he helps Spider-Man defeat his lamest villain ever, a guy riding around in a giant wheel. Featuring the voices of big names like Mark Hamill, Telma Hopkins, and, um, C.B. Barnes, ‘Rocket Racer’ is an episode you won’t forget... for at least two, maybe three minutes.”

“We here at the Agony Booth don’t know for certain if a girl can really love a robot, or how physical congress between the two might actually transpire. But clearly, the Transformers writers never lost much sleep over questions such as these, giving us one of the most bizarre episodes of the show’s run. Watch the video and be disturbed.”

“Wow, I think we just saw the first time Aquaman has ever been useful on this show.”

Ryan recaps the animated Star Trek episode “The Lorelei Signal”, where the Enterprise responds to a sexy distress call, and Kirk and Spock and McCoy all lose their damn minds over a colony of blondes, who turn out to be lifeforce vampires! Uhura and Chapel are forced to take command and rescue the horny bastards, with the help of the Enterprise’s surprisingly hot womens’ security team. Watch the video below, and learn all about the hidden dangers of Jazzercise headbands and competitive giant ruby tossing!

“Season three contains what just about every fan agrees are the two worst episodes of the series: ‘The Rocket Racer’ and ‘The Spot’. In fact, there was a debate for a while over which was the worse episode. My vote always went to ‘The Spot’, because ‘Rocket Racer’ may have been centered on a dull character and even duller villains, but at least that character wasn’t intensely annoying, and there were no gaping plot holes that I could see instantly, even as a kid.”

“Judging by the sheer amount of Hologram flirting, it’s obvious Jem’s plan for appreciating world history music is to sleep with every hot musician in every major time period. See? Being a Jem Girl is fun.”

“The entire show is about Jem’s fabulous life as a rockstar, her BFFs and bratty kid sister, the orphans she looks after, and her ridiculously slow-witted boyfriend, who’s in love with both Jem and Jerrica without being able to figure out that they’re actually the same person. And Jerrica’s totally fine with this. It’s an ‘80s cartoon soap opera with tons of glamour, glitter, fashion and... well, you know the rest.”

“Guys, the French hate the Eiffel Tower. The average Parisian thinks it’s an eyesore. Guy de Maupassant used to eat at their restaurant every day just so he wouldn’t have to look at the damn thing! If you collapse it, they’ll probably send you a gift basket.”

“What would be the point of introducing silly things like magic and witches into a Batman story? Because it’s already taking a lot of my willful suspension of disbelief just to accept the idea of a mentally unbalanced billionaire dressing up like a bat and fighting violent criminals without bothering to carry a gun.”

“I get the sense that Farmer Brown won’t be threatening Joker for the spot of top dog in Arkham once Batman nails his ass to a wall.”

At the time, this was the single most watched event in television history. Scientists have yet to determine why.

"Woody can’t see, Spike teleports, space is warped, and a robotic Mr. T trades quips with the real one."

“If you only watch one episode of Mister T this year, it might as well be this one.”

"Hey, just wait and see how long it takes you to go on a murderous rampage when no one will help you finish a crossword puzzle."

"If you've never seen a duck driving a fire truck carrying a pig, a goat, and a chicken, well... You have now."

"Just drink up, and it'll all make perfect sense."

"This investigation requires mangled maxims and smashing down doors. Better get Mr. T!"

"William Shatner, whether he's animated or not, never misses out on an opportunity to do a head roll. "

"Messing with people minds? Stealin' they thoughts? That sounds like mind thievery to me!"

"Other shows jump the shark, Mr. T coldcocks it!"