As part of a special series of reviews, Joey looks at three generations of animated Batman media. First up is the hilariously lame The Adventures of Batman, featuring the voices of Casey Kasem and Ted Knight, and brought to you by the same studio that gave you He-Man!

In brightest day, in blackest night, no crap movie shall escape Sofie's sight! Let those responsible for this CGI blight beware her powerful blonde Danish might!

Mr. Mendo brings us twice the insanity from 1978 Japan: First up, it's the one and only movie starring singing duo Pink Lady, where they help an alien creature escape the circus, and teleport back to the Old West. After that, it's the Japanese Spider-Man, who gets his powers from a guy from the planet Spider, along with his very own giant robot sidekick!

Cecil looks at Catwoman, starring Halle Berry as a cosmetics company employee who undergoes basically the same origin as Michelle Pfeiffer in Batman Returns and becomes a superhero! Many consider this to be a strong contender for worst comic book movie ever made, but in this episode, Cecil explains why he genuinely loves Catwoman.

“Folks, if you’ve seen this movie, you know that a costume alteration is the least of its problems.”

“Michael Cera plays a 20 something slacker (shocker!) living in Toronto, who falls in love with a girl with seven evil exes, among them Superman and Captain America. Scott has to do battle with each ex in a series of Nintendo-inspired fight scenes, while writer-director Edgar Wright shamelessly attempts to create a new cult classic by stuffing in the maximum amount of video game in-jokes possible.”

“In this episode, Fear Fan leaves behind the world of horror movies to examine the awful 1990 direct-to-video Albert Pyun-directed Captain America, starring Ronny Cox, Ned Beatty, and J.D. Salinger’s son as Cap. Our own Stan Ferguson previously covered the 1979 Reb Brown version, but this one is much worse, despite being a lot more faithful to the comics.”

“They don’t get much cheesier or TV movie-er than 1979’s Captain America, starring Reb ‘Big McLargeHuge’ Brown as the Sentinel of Liberty. There’s no Red Skull or HYDRA or Cap getting entombed in a block of ice in this movie, just a big doof with overinflated biceps riding his motorcycle and battling Wink Martindale’s evil twin.”

“In this episode, Ryan covers The Batman, a lighter, younger, more merchandise-oriented incarnation of the Caped Crusader, featuring vastly ‘reimagined’ versions of Batman’s villains. In the season one episode ‘Q&A’, Batman faces off against the Cluemaster, a subpar Riddler clone who’s been redesigned to be even more useless than he was in the comics.”

“I’m no scientist, but I’m fairly certain that if your moon loses orbit, you can pretty much cancel whatever plans you had for the day, because you are well and truly about to get FUBARed.”

“This time out, it finally becomes apparent just how much weed was being smoked in the writers’ room at the time, as Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and the Wonder Twins journey into a total rip-off of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings.”

“This time around, Stan looks at the TV movie that reunited the stars of a classic ‘70s action series, The Incredible Hulk Returns. And since the notion of Bill Bixby turning into a bodybuilder covered in green body paint isn’t ridiculous enough, they added the Norse god of thunder! Yes, Marvel’s own Thor makes a special appearance here, along with his life partner Donald Blake, and since Kenneth Branagh’s Thor comes out this summer, what better time to look at Thor’s only other live-action appearance?”

“Hey, kids, remember when Ryan wrote about ‘The Spot’, the second-worst episode of Spider-Man, the cartoon that ran on FOX Kids back in the ‘90s? Well, you’re in luck, because this time around, he looks at the worst episode of the series, ‘Rocket Racer’!

“In it, a whiny kid gets his hands on a rocket-powered skateboard and decides to turn to a life of crime, but ends up being too much of a pussy to follow through on it. Eventually, he helps Spider-Man defeat his lamest villain ever, a guy riding around in a giant wheel. Featuring the voices of big names like Mark Hamill, Telma Hopkins, and, um, C.B. Barnes, ‘Rocket Racer’ is an episode you won’t forget... for at least two, maybe three minutes.”

“So here we have a complex theme, a half-hearted performer, a hit-or-miss director, and a ton of money blown on special effects without regards to telling a logical story. What could go wrong?”

“Wow, I think we just saw the first time Aquaman has ever been useful on this show.”

“Every break with the laws of physics is explained with ‘It’s a Batman Movie.’”

A childhood deal with the Devil, a stunt rider who can’t hurt himself, and a dysfunctional family squabble from the underworld all come together for an epic battle on Earth for the ultimate power... and jelly beans.

“Season three contains what just about every fan agrees are the two worst episodes of the series: ‘The Rocket Racer’ and ‘The Spot’. In fact, there was a debate for a while over which was the worse episode. My vote always went to ‘The Spot’, because ‘Rocket Racer’ may have been centered on a dull character and even duller villains, but at least that character wasn’t intensely annoying, and there were no gaping plot holes that I could see instantly, even as a kid.”

“What would be the point of introducing silly things like magic and witches into a Batman story? Because it’s already taking a lot of my willful suspension of disbelief just to accept the idea of a mentally unbalanced billionaire dressing up like a bat and fighting violent criminals without bothering to carry a gun.”

“So I’m sure you’ve heard FOX’s new show isn’t the first attempt to adapt the Human Target into a weekly primetime series. And if you haven’t, well, now you have. And who says this site is useless?”

“I get the sense that Farmer Brown won’t be threatening Joker for the spot of top dog in Arkham once Batman nails his ass to a wall.”

“I generally don’t bitch about a film using live, on-the-set special effects, but when the ‘supposed to be likable’ lead character has the eyes of a killer, I balk.”

"'Born to fight. Trained to kill.' Written to bore."

The beginning of the end of the Batman film franchise.

"This movie is shoved so far up its own ass that it becomes a Klein bottle."

"A script so bad, only a flamethrower could improve it."

The Fantastic Four spend almost the entire film mostly cleaning up after their own mistakes. No joke. Every time they spring into action, it's a direct result of one of them doing something dumb. Didn't this seem like a bad, bad idea to anyone? We watch superhero movies to see the heroes being heroic, not bungling things so badly that they cause massive injuries and property damage, if not outright deaths. They should be saving the day, not covering their own asses.

"I expect the thinking went something like this: 'Look how much everyone drools over Tom Welling. And we make him wear a shirt!'"

"This movie is really starting to hurt me in my common sense."

"When your villain compares unfavorably to Punky Brewster's dad, you know it's not a good movie."

"'We'll always have Seattle' doesn't quite have the same ring to it, does it?"

In the third installment of this blockbuster franchise, we finally learn that Superman is an angry drunk who prefers unprotected sex with strangers.

"I would say that the Batman movie franchise has been reduced to the level of the campy 60's Adam West TV series, but that would be an insult to Adam West."