It’s an Agony Booth Christmas Special as Cecil watches Santa with Muscles, starring Hulk Hogan playing against type as a rich buffoon, who falls down a trash chute and starts believing he's Santa Claus. He decides to help out some hapless orphans (among them, Mila Kunis) in danger of having their home demolished by evil germophobe Ed Begley, Jr. A mainstay of the IMDb’s Bottom 100 list for over a decade, is it possible Cecil enjoyed this one? Watch and find out!

“So, basically, one guy was all that was stopping Bedford Falls from turning into a hellhole. I think that’s ample evidence George should’ve gotten out when he had the chance. I mean, come on. If the general populace is too weak-willed not to turn into East St. Louis, why would you want to save them? At what point does personal responsibility kick in? There was no reason whatsoever for George to throw away his life and happiness for these losers.”

“That’s right, gang: this holiday movie has blessed us with the vision of Ben Affleck taking a piss, and inside of the first fifteen minutes, too! Merry Christmas to all!”

"You might notice that the plot, about a convicted killer on death row with the power to heal people, is strikingly similar to the premise of Stephen King's serial novel The Green Mile. I haven't read the books, but the episode is very different from the movie based on them. For one thing, it’s 25 minutes long. For another, it stars Patrick Swayze."

"Speaking for myself, when I think of shows airing in 1984 that needed a Christmas episode, V comes in dead last, behind even Airwolf. By the end of this recap, I’m sure you’ll agree with me."

In 1914, Thomas Edison didn’t have color film. He didn’t have sound. He didn’t have talent. He didn’t have any understanding of even the most basic filmmaking techniques. What he did have was the Christmas spirit. It was not enough.

"This might be the first film I've ever seen that makes me constantly look around to make sure I'm not on hidden camera."

This movie. Goes by. So slowly.

“I now present a half-hour showcase of all the latest hot computer gadgets and popular software, just in time for the holidays! Well, I guess there is just one little, tiny thing I should probably mention. See, this episode aired exactly twenty years ago, during the 1985 Christmas shopping season. But, hey. Come on. It's just high technology! How out of date could it possibly be?”

"Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when Santa and his eight tiny reindeer run wild on you??"

"After seeing this movie, all your kids will want for Christmas is some serious psychotherapy."