Tagged: Vampires

VIDEO: Twilight (2008)

UPDATED Nov. 7, 2012 with commentary from Sofie!

Sofie revisits the movie that started a billion-dollar sparkly vampire franchise, 2008’s Twilight! Join her as she relives those first magical moments when codependency true love blossomed between Edward and Bella!strong

VIDEO: Santo vs. The Vampire Women (1962)

It’s Halloween, and per the Renegado’s made-up tradition, it’s time to talk about everyone’s favorite lucha libre superhero, El Santo! This time, he tackles Santo vs. Las Mujeres Vampiro, which would later be dubbed into English, retitled Samson vs. The Vampire Women, and mocked mercilessly on Mystery Science Theater 3000. Featuring cameos from all your favorite Agony Booth contributors, and the Blue Demon!

VIDEO: Dracula (1931)

It’s Halloween, and Sofie has decided to exploit the horror classics… in more ways than one. First up, it’s a special black and white episode as she takes on the classic that started it all, 1931’s Dracula, starring horror legend Bela Lugosi in his iconic role as Count Dracula. Featuring special guest appearances by all your favorite Agony Booth reviewers!

VIDEO: The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

Edward decides his kind is too dangerous to be around Bella, so he goes into contrived self-exile, leaving Bella to screech like a maniac for months before finally finding comfort in hot werewolf Jacob. Alas, Sofie’s endless mocking of the movie earns her the wrath of Pia (played by Sofie Liv), a scantily-clad airhead who breaks into Sofie’s house to share a love of all things Twilight!

VIDEO: Priest (2011)

After a centuries-long war between humans and vampires, the Church has assumed total control of humanity, with “priests” that are actually elite vampire slayers. Paul Bettany is a veteran priest living an unassuming life, but when vampires kidnap his niece (Lily Collins), he goes to hunt them down, bringing along Karl Urban, Cam Gigandet, and plenty of cool weapons.

VIDEO: Top 10 Vampires

While you count down to 2012, join the Fear Fan as he counts down his list of the top 10 greatest vampires in movie history. With some obvious choices (Max Shreck) and some not-so-obvious choices (Pee-Wee Herman?), one thing’s for sure: none of these vampires sparkle!

VIDEO: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)

Michael A. Novelli steps up to host the Movie Skewer and take over our coverage of the Twilight Saga: the continuing misadventures of a vacant, passive high school girl, the creepy vampire who controls her, and the werewolf/rapist-in-training who comes between them! In the third installment, Bella and Edward are engaged, which pisses off Jacob, while Victoria organizes an army of “newborn” vampires to kill Bella and get revenge on Edward. So yeah, pretty much the same plot as New Moon, only this time they pay Bryce Dallas Howard to stand around and do nothing.”

Twilight (2008) (part 9 of 9)

“No matter how good of a job the director did, and no matter how hard the screenwriters worked, nobody else’s talent is ever going to fix the middle-aged woman’s disturbing sparkly wank-dream that is Twilight.”

Twilight (2008) (part 8 of 9)

“No matter how good of a job the director did, and no matter how hard the screenwriters worked, nobody else’s talent is ever going to fix the middle-aged woman’s disturbing sparkly wank-dream that is Twilight.”

Twilight (2008) (part 7 of 9)

“No matter how good of a job the director did, and no matter how hard the screenwriters worked, nobody else’s talent is ever going to fix the middle-aged woman’s disturbing sparkly wank-dream that is Twilight.”

Twilight (2008) (part 6 of 9)

“No matter how good of a job the director did, and no matter how hard the screenwriters worked, nobody else’s talent is ever going to fix the middle-aged woman’s disturbing sparkly wank-dream that is Twilight.”