You get a Dead Boyfriend! And you get a Dead Boyfriend! And you get a Dead Boyfriend! This week, the writers of Once celebrate Mother’s Day, by murdering a handful of the show’s menfolk. Because, in Storybrook, girls run the world, and boys are just there to look pretty.
Tagged: season 5
This week on Once, all the disjointed plot points line up in just the right way for everybody to conveniently get out of the Underworld . . . well, everybody except the guy they went in to get in the first place. Also, we learn the true inspiration behind Emma’s fashion choices.
This week on Once: a daring rescue goes awry; a reunion between old lovers reminds us just how incestuous this show actually is; Regina gets a new job as a horse whisperer; and a female character’s “secret” pregnancy is revealed by looking at her husband’s balls.
This week, Snow White remembers how awesome it was to make out with Hercules, and it causes her to decide she doesn’t want to be that old dishrag, Mary Margaret, anymore. Also, three cast members get head, but not in the fun way you are probably imagining . . .
You know what’s hard? Being a hero on a Show About Heroes. Why? Because every time you try to do something heroic, there are always at least ten other people lining up to do it first.
This week on Once, poorly kept secrets are revealed! King Arthur’s wife just might be having an affair! Henry ain’t exactly a lady killer! And air pollution has harmful effects on your health!
This week on Once, King Arthur and Prince Charming take a shroom-inspired trip together. Emma’s fast food-flavored seduction of Hook fails miserably. And King Arthur ends up being just as big of a douchebag as we all instantly suspected him of being.
In this week’s Once Upon a Time recap, Robin Hood stands around uselessly until he finally gets stabbed and then lies around dying uselessly. Meanwhile, the sword Excalibur comes to Storybrooke to tempt Emma to up her asshole factor another 10x.
Once Upon a Time: Being Evil Makes Your Hair Greasy and Other Stuff I Learned from the Season 5 Premiere
Welcome to Camelot! Season 5 of “Once Upon a Time” takes us to the land of King Arthur and introduces Emma as the new evilest person in the world.
This week on the Game of Thrones season finale, everybody and their mother dies. Except for Cersei, who learns just how tough (and naked) the Walk of Shame can be. And Dany, who finds herself a brand new army. But everyone else is pretty much dead.
King Stannis learns the meaning of the word “sacrifice,” one of Arya’s prayers is about to be answered, Jon Snow is down to his last friend, and Dany’s got herself a new ride.
Louis C.K.’s real life resembles South Park
The zombies are coming! Zombies warriors! Zombie babies! Zombie moms! Soooo many zombies! Oh, and Tyrion finally gets to meet Dany on the other side of the world. But mostly zombies.
This week, Game of Thrones featured many of the good citizens of Westeros attempting to obtain pardons for their sins (and the sins of others) with highly variable rates of success, ranging from Jorah’s violent but hopeless attempt to win back Dany to Gilly’s much appreciated thank you roll in the hay with Sam.
This week on Game of Thrones, the series’ war on weddings with poor Sansa Stark the latest victim. Also, Arya gets a promotion, Margaery gets a demotion, Bronn and Jamie play dress-up, and Tyrion and Jorah make some new friends with benefits, but, perhaps, not the kind of benefits they were hoping for.
This week on Game of Thrones, Dany feeds her dragon kids a gourmet lunch. Greyworm lives to be ball-less another day. Jon Snow grows a pair. Sansa comes to terms with just how badly her life sucks. Tyrion grudgingly acknowledges the perks of being held hostage.