Tagged: Riverdale

Riverdale: Daddy in a coma

“Our story is not over,” begins Jughead’s narration for the season 2 premiere of Riverdale. Hell yeah, it isn’t! Welcome to the town where there’s creepy wig rooms, strange obsessions with maple syrup, dramatic funerals,...

Riverdale: We can be heroes

Why does the Blossom family take their maple syrup so seriously? Why did they have their super elaborate maple tapping ceremony at the beginning of winter when any New Englander knows that maple syrup season begins at...

Riverdale: Homecomings and goings

Welcome back (again) to Riverdale! These random CW hiatuses are killing me and I don’t understand the logic behind them. Are they trying to drag out the final episodes? Accommodating standardized testings for their teen viewers?...

Riverdale: Baby on Board

Hello, everyone! Welcome back to Riverdale, where there’s only one high school and one restaurant but there’s an Uber service that will take you to teen nightclubs. As much as I like ragging on...

Riverdale: Daddy Lessons

I can’t even make fun of this week’s pretentious narration because we opened with a dream sequence where all the Riverdale characters are dressed like their retro counterparts. Jughead is even wearing his crown...

Riverdale: #JusticeForEthel

Jughead’s dumb narrations get dumber with every episode. This week, he spouts off a grocery list of opposites. Good versus evil, light versus dark, etc. Wow. So deep. Much pretentious. Anyway, Cheryl admits that she...